This is an old video, but Tank and I rediscovered it today and laughed all the way through it. Enjoy!

Today's Update

From Rob

Since it's all said and done, I guess I'll write about it.  Back in the Fall Rob applied for a dream job - a tenure-track professorship at a small liberal arts college about 20 minutes from our house.  The biology department there is a close-knit group of delightful people, and we were both really hopeful about Rob's chances.

In December he got a phone interview (which ended up being a face-to-face interview, which was fine by Rob), and then in early January he got the Real interview, which was 6 hours worth of presenting, meeting people, etc.  He met with the Dean of the department, the President of the college, and the entire department.  It was pretty intense, but again everyone was really nice.

The next week Rob heard back.  There were 2 positions open, and Rob was in the top 3.  After much debate, they chose the other 2.  So, happy 3rd place to Rob! 

No crying for us, though.  Strangely, we weren't sad about it at all.  I mean, it was disappointing, and it would have been a great job.  But after Rob went and interviewed, all the anxiety went away.  He felt really good about the interview, he felt like he showed them who he is and what he's about, and there's really not much else you can ask for in an interview process.  On top of that, Rob has a great job right now, things are stable, his boss is a goddess, and we're happy.

Also, it was Rob's birthday on Wednesday.  And he shaved off his beard.  Those were unrelated events.

From Tamra

As of 2 days ago, I officially own the van sitting in my driveway.  So I guess I can't say it's my parents' van any more.  It's a 1997 Dodge Grand Caravan.  It's served my parents well for all this time, and the odometer proves it:  377,000 miles.  Did you even know that number existed?!  It's awesome.  I want to walk around saying to people, "Guess how many miles my van has on it."

We intend to use it lightly.  As I see it, the van's put in good time and deserves a rest period before the end comes.  We're hoping that it lasts a year or two, and I think that's reasonable if we don't stress it out.  It's really nice to be able to go to the store during the day, to the museum with Tank, etc.  Hurray!

And I would insert another picture of it, but it's still covered in snow, and do you really need a picture of our van?  No.  You'll live.

From Miciah

She's still being Miciah.  She reads and reads and reads, till all hours of the night.  She's still doing piano and likes it when she's not whining about practicing.  In general, though, her whining has gotten much better.  She's a delightful 9-year-old and I have a good time with her.  It's amazing how not yelling at someone every day really changes your relationship with that person.  The tension that's always been there between us is less and less every day.  We'll sit next to each other and just make each other laugh.  It's lovely!

Miciah is still acing school with little effort.  She was accepted into her school's gifted program for language arts starting next year.  I think it means they'll actually try to challenge her, which is good.  When I explained to her what the program was supposed to be like, to see if she wanted to do it, she said, "Language arts is so easy."  Yes, sweetie, that's why they want to put you in an advanced class.  Miciah also gets lots of comments from her teachers about how nice and respectful she is, which is something we expect from her.  She's a great kid.

From Elijah

Elijah is crazy hyper most nights, and I'm counting down the days till good weather.  He gets worse as he gets more tired, and by 8:00 it's almost intolerable.  One night I told Tank and Elijah they had to go to bed.  Tank said, "How come Miciah gets to stay up?"  "Because Miciah doesn't get crazy when she's tired."  Tank thought about that and then said, "But she gets whiny."  Good point.

Elijah is a softie.  We're only 1 movie away from finishing the Star Wars "saga," and he's still sad for Darth Vader.  All through movies 4 and 5, while Vader was doing horrible things to people, Elijah was saying things like, "But he's still good, right?"  No!  He's not!  Rob did tell him that there is some sort of happy ending for him, just so Elijah wouldn't freak out.

Elijah is also the kid who reminds us to read scriptures at night.  If I suggest (because I'm lazy sometimes) that we just skip it, Elijah gets upset.  He loves to read the verses, and he's getting pretty good.  Scriptures are great, cause there are lots of big words to challenge new readers, but also lots of repetition to give them confidence.  If they can't read anything else, they can always get "and it came to pass." 

And a good Elijah story.  Rob was gone and I was putting the kids to bed, but I was also really, really grumpy for no reason.  So I told Elijah to go to bed and I'd be in to tuck him in "in a second."  I needed some time to sit on the couch and just breathe before I went in there.  You know, enjoy the silence for a few moments.  As Elijah was walking to his room, and I was reassuring him that I'd be in "in a second," he said, "Does a second mean a minute to a parent?"  Hmm.  Apparently the answer to that is yes.

From Teancom

Tank's accomplishment for the week:  Playing at the museum for 3 hours!  We've had a museum membership for the majority of the time we've lived here.  It's a great place for the kids, and they've loved it.  Except for Tank in the last few months.  We'd go and he'd throw a fit the entire time (I think I wrote about it).  SO frustrating.  So we decided that when the pass came up for renewal, we wouldn't do it.  What's the point, if he's just going to throw fits the whole time?

On Saturday we took all 3 of the kids, and I was surprised by the fact that all 3 of them were really into it.  I kinda thought that Miciah and Elijah were getting too old for the Children's Museum.  Apparently not.  So I told them that I'd give it a couple tries with Tank, see if he liked it better now.  And he played happily.  No fits, even when we left. 

While we were there he asked me to crawl through the Woods area with him.  There are tunnels and ladders and a slide.  It's pretty great.  I told him that I'd play for 10 minutes and then he needed to play on his own.  He thought that was acceptable.  So I took my coat, my purse, and my library copy of The Autobiography of Mark Twain.  The tome probably weighs like 75 pounds.  It was comical, I noted, as I shimmied back and forth through a climbing tunnel, pushing my book ahead of my body at every turn.  Rob laughed at me when I told him the story and said, "Why didn't you just leave it on the bench?"  What?!  Leave a book behind?  "What if someone took it?"  Rob just looked at me.  "Right.  Cause it's a hot seller right now."  Fine.

From Cleo

Our cat is about to be my brother's cat.  Keith asked if he could take her up to his apartment in Dayton, and I happily agreed.  Cleo still hasn't forgiven us for getting a dog.  She stays in the basement all day long and therefore gets zero attention.  Miciah was pretty sad when we told her, cause of all of us, she likes Cleo the best.  Miciah's room is downstairs, and she cuddles with Cleo every night.  Miciah cried for a while, but I explained that Cleo really would be happier at Keith's place.  Miciah agreed, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it.  I suggested that she make something to help her remember Cleo.  She took pictures and did a scrapbook page, and she's been happier ever since.

From Kui

Love my dog.  We're still working with her, teaching her who's boss.  We'd had her a few months before I felt like she really "got it" that we're in charge.  She's barking less and behaving better in general, so we're making progress with her.  She's a very compliant dog, and she was super well trained before we even got her.  We're just fine tuning it.  ...  Love how cuddly she is.  Love, love my dog.

And that's all of us.  Happy almost February!

Elijah and I Got Married

Yesterday the kids were playing pretend.  I don't know how he worked this out, but everyone agreed that Elijah should be King and everyone should do what he said.  The King ordered Miciah to go and find him a girlfriend.  Miciah's response?  "I don't want to do that."  So the King changed his tactics.  "Please?"  Miciah, taking the easy way out, suggested that I be his girlfriend.  It was a short quest.  I was laying on the couch and Miciah was only inches away from me.  Somehow I thought quests should be more Epic than that.

Elijah decided we should get married.  "And kiss on the lips?"  I furrowed my brow and said, "Ewww."  Miciah performed the "ceremony" with me still only half-paying attention and laying on the couch.  When it was over I pretended to kiss Elijah.  So that's it.  We got married.

What cracked me up about the whole thing is that afterwards, for about 20 minutes, and without me giving him any more attention, Elijah sat behind me, leaned his head on my head, and gently stroked my hair.

He's a softie, that Elijah.

Sustaining Church Leaders

I gave a talk today on Sustaining Church Leaders.  I agonized over it for weeks, and it almost refused to come together.  If I hadn't received an impression that I was supposed to give a talk, then I would have called the Bishopric Counselor back and said, "Okay, just change my topic."

Finally, yesterday it came to me.  I suddenly knew how to frame my talk, and where to focus, and it was nothing like what I had originally thought.  In fact, there were whole sections that I felt were "left out" or "missing."  But I felt strongly that it was the talk I was supposed to give.  So here it is, if you want to read it.

My topic is Sustaining Church Leadership, which I have something of a history with.  Brother Weidner is unaware of that history, or else when he called I would have said, “Okay, joke’s over.  What’s my REAL topic.”  I called the Bishop, who knows something of my illustrious past with this topic, and tried to talk him out of my speaking on it.  He was unimpressed but supportive.  And when I told my dad what my topic was, he just laughed.  I said, “Tithing!  I could give a GREAT talk about tithing!”  I asked him what I should say, and he said it was up to me.  I said, “Yes, but what would YOU say if you had to give a talk on Sustaining Church Leaders?”  He replied, “I’d give the talk on tithing.”

So we’ll start on tithing.  Tithing is a very clear commandment.  We might be able to squabble about the word “increase,” whether we pay on the gross or the net, for example, but it’s impossible to squabble about the amount we pay on that increase.  It’s 10%.  Period.  Any less is wrong.

Sustaining doesn’t quite work the same way.  First off, what does it mean to sustain, and then, how do we do it.  

President Hinckley said:  “The procedure of sustaining is much more than a ritualistic raising of the hand.  It is a commitment to uphold, to support, to assist those who have been selected.”  And Doctrine and Covenants, section 107, verse 22 says that the First Presidency (and we can insert all church leaders here) is “upheld by the confidence, faith, and prayer of the church.”

Notice how this is different than the law of tithing:  it’s subjective.  I should be supporting and upholding and assisting those leaders that I sustain.  Deciding how that is done is up to me.

             

Which brings us back to me and my history.  I was born rebellious in spirit, though not in behavior.  I have given authority to very few people in my life.  I was taught young that respect must be earned, and I wasn’t about to dole out Authority status to everyone who claimed it.  I was taught that I should do what was Right, not necessarily what I was told.

             

That’s not to say that I went around breaking every rule I could find.  In High School, I never drank or did drugs or went to parties I shouldn’t have, and I broke curfew only 1 time.  When my parents came into my room the next morning to talk about it, the conversation went something like this:

            Them:  You broke curfew.

            Me:  Yep.

            Them:  Do you have anything to say for yourself?

            Me:  Nope.

            Them:  Well, we think there should be a punishment.

            Me:  I agree.  How about I’m grounded for 2 weeks?

            Them:  Don’t you suppose that’s a little harsh?  How about 1 week?

            Me:  No.  I think 2 is good.

             

My parents had very few rules, but one solid game plan:  Do what was best for me.  My parents worked tirelessly, though not perfectly, to do what was best for their 8 children.  Did they make mistakes?  Yes, because they’re human.  But I knew they were reasonable, responsible people who loved me and were looking out for me.

             

My parents had a relatively set curfew.  10:00 on week nights, and 11:00 on weekends.  It could be changed.  I could respectfully petition them for an exception.  They were free to say no, which they did when I asked to stay out all night for Prom, and for that matter, I was free to disregard them.  But I had learned several valuable lessons from my parents that made me want to follow their leadership: 

            

            1 – My parents respected and loved me.  They knew I was capable of making my own decisions, and they expected me to.  They also valued my input and listened to my ideas.

            2 – The rules they had were for my good.  My parents set clear, reasonable rules.  They also gave out increased amounts of trust and freedom to those of us who earned it.

            3 – The bottom line, ALWAYS, was that they loved me.  I remember my father telling me, multiple times, that if I was ever in trouble, it didn’t matter where I was or what I’d been doing, all I needed to do was call, and he would come get me.  If I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, it didn’t matter:  He wanted his daughter safe. 

             

Ideally, isn’t this how our leaders are supposed to be?  They love us, respect us, do what’s best for us, and give us helpful but not stifling guidance.  They happily listen to our ideas and suggestions, they rejoice at our triumphs, and they sorrow at our pain.  … Ideally, isn’t this how we ALL should be?

             

Heavenly Father has made this clear:  Christ said that we should love one another, and that is how others will know we are His disciples.  In D&C 38:27, we are told that if we are not one, we are not His.  We are being asked to sustain not only our leaders, but each other.  We are asked to uphold, support, and assist each other.  So we should.

            

How do we do that?  Well, for me, it starts with respect, since respect is something that I’m slow to give.  I can start with the basic respect for another human being.  We are all children of God and deserve to be treated as such.  The titles of Brother and Sister are meant to remind us of that.

            

 Going back to church leadership in particular, I can acknowledge that the men and women who are called to certain positions have the Authority to be in said positions.  I believe, for instance, that Bishop Cybulski has the Preisthood Authority to be Bishop of our ward.  When he was first called, that’s all I knew.  I didn’t know if he would be a good leader, but I knew he had the Authority to be Bishop.

             

And having that Authority, he also has a stewardship over me.  I firmly believe that the first person who has stewardship over me is me.  …  After I wrote that line, I realized I was wrong.  The first person who has stewardship over me is Heavenly Father.  This is a lesson that I’ve been slow to learn, and one that I’ve fought.  I’d like to think that it’s MY life and MY things, but it’s really not.  So let me revise that sentence:  The first person who has stewardship over me is Heavenly Father.  He was making good decisions for me and guiding and directing me before I can even remember.  The second person who has stewardship over me is me.  Next it’s my husband.  Then it’s my father, with my mother by his side.  And then it’s my Bishop.  All of these people can lose their standing by interrupting their relationship with Heavenly Father.

             

Sadly, that sometimes happens.  There are leaders who make bad decisions.  Little ones.  Big ones.  It happens.  I think that those church leaders who make colossal mistakes are the exception and not the rule.  Usually, I think most mistakes, even ones that cause pain, are misunderstandings.  I’m going to speak for the Bishop here, since I have the pulpit, and say that if you have been offended by something he has said or done, or not said or done, then go to him.  He will offer a sincere apology.  He’s that kind of man.  But I hope you also are willing to forgive.  The Bishop is just 1 man.  He can’t do everything right for everybody all the time.  I think that’s impossible.

             

I’ll tell you about Bishop Challis, who was the Bishop of my BYU ward.  He was an intimidating man, tall, always in his suit, intense, and opinionated.  His version of sacrament meeting was to invite whoever had been inspired that week to come up and talk.  It was brilliant, but unvonventional.  So he could rub people the wrong way.  Plus, the oldest of us was 25, maybe, and he was ancient.  Like 50.  So he was intimidating.  Shortly after he was called, I saw him and his wife at a restaurant.  He was wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and a belt buckle, and I was never intimidated by him again.  Our ward was full of transients, people who were in and out of the ward, sometimes in only a semester.  We were the "old couple" there, because we stuck around for like 3 or 4 years.  I felt like I was something of an ambassador for the Bishop.  Nearly every time I got up to speak I talked about how great this guy was.  He loved us as members of his ward.  Which isn’t to say I agreed with everything he did.  Once he handled a situation with Rob and I, I thought, unnecessarily harshly.  I was offended, and it was hard.  A few months later, he realized that he had handled the situation poorly and apologized to us about it.  And it wasn’t because I had been gabbing about the situation, or even because I’d brought it up to him.  He realized that he was in the wrong, and he apologized.  He loved us.

             

In closing, I want to say that I like coming to church because I like associating with all of you amazing people.  I have this idea that if I hang out with you guys long enough, then maybe some of your amazingness will rub off on me.  It’s a long process.  This is also why I married Rob.  And if I stay married long enough, and keep coming to church long enough, then maybe it’ll happen:  Someday I’ll be awesome like you.

             

I know that this is the true Church.  If I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t be here.  I know that Jesus is the Christ.  I know He loves us more than we can imagine.  I know He loves us no matter what.  He’s that kind of man.  I know that Heavenly Father’s greatest wish is for us to return and live with Him again.  I am grateful for the experiences that I have had that have taught me this.  They have come gradually, sometimes painfully, sometimes powerfully, sometimes softly.  But they have come, and they continue to come, and I am grateful to belong to a Church that teaches that we all have a right to a personal witness.  Without it, I would be lost.

Snow Days

Today's the second snow day for the week, but the fourth day this week that my kids have off school.  Monday was a holiday.  Tuesday was teacher in-service.  ... So Wednesday was apparently my one day of sanity.  I wish I had known that at the time.  I would have taken greater advantage of it.

To console myself, I'm posting about some fun home projects that we've finished (or will have finished by tomorrow).

Finished Project #1:
Painted the hallway / finished painting the dining room.  So, 4 years ago we painted the dining room.  We left 1 wall unpainted because ... because that's what we do.  Finally it bugged me, so we painted it on Saturday.  I keep walking by it and saying, "Look at that white wall!"  Amazing.

We also noticed, once the wall was actually white instead of nasty off-white, that the ceiling, for about a 3 foot by 8 foot section, only had 1 coat of paint.  Who does that?  Who leaves a section of their ceiling with only 1 paint of coat?  Awesome people like us, that's who!

Finished Project #2:
Remember when I posted all about us remodeling our kitchen?  It was a huge to-do around here.  It was declared "finished" in August 2009.  Except there was this one small section that needed grouting around some tile work.  While we were doing Project #1, I mentioned to Rob that I don't think he intended to ever finish that section.  A little reverse psychology, maybe?  Whatever it was, it worked, because on Monday he finished that section.  So now the kitchen is OFFICIALLY finished.

Oh, and I guess we've also put up shelves in the kitchen.
Before:

After:

Finished Project #3:
Installed new shower doors, new light fixtures, bath fixtures, and towel hooks.  When my parents came with the van and the computer, they also brought new shower doors.  It's kind of a long story, but the short of it is that they've had these great doors sitting around their house for a year, so they thought we might appreciate them.  Our old shower doors were, well, old and rusty (I explained to them that they matched everything else in our house:  old, rusty, but functional), so we were happy to upgrade.  Thank you, Mom and Dad!  My brother, Keith, who now lives in Dayton, came and helped Rob install it.  Thank you, Keith!

The light fixtures have needed replaced for, I dunno, probably since we bought the house.  So 5 years ago.  We're replacing them tomorrow.  And the hooks are being installed because the new shower doors don't have a handle on them.  That's where we hung our towels before, so we needed a new solution.

Oh!  And as part of phase 2, a few months from now, we'll put a shelf or two above the toilet.  You know, for towels and stuff.  I'll probably put a plant there, too.  Any ideas for a low-light-tolerant, humidity-loving plant to go in my bathroom?  I'm open to ideas.  (Hint to Justin.)

Home Projects to Do Soon:
I need to re-arrange the pictures in my living room.  I got a 16x20 print of our family, from the great photo shoot in Key West, and it's framed and everything, just sitting behind my couch.  I would put it up, but I think there's just a better arrangement for ALL the pictures hanging up.  So I'm waiting for inspiration and/or advice from someone with a better eye than me.  (Hint to RB.)  Maybe this is why projects take so long around here:  I'm always waiting for inspiration.  Let's be honest, I'm only "inspired" about once a year.

Actually put the van in my name and then insure it.  I was going to do it on Thursday and then the snow came.  Nevermind.  I guess next week will work.  And I know you're all dying to see a picture of our van and hear more of the story.  That's for next week, too.  But here's a picture of it covered in snow!:

So there.  That makes this week seem less pointless.  We have actually accomplished things!  I can go on living now.

Love That Miciah

Missed a story.

Last night at the dinner table we were talking about whatever, and fairies came up.  Miciah was talking about them like they actually existed, though she knows they don't, and Rob reminded her of that point.  "Fairies aren't real, Miciah."

Miciah looked right at him and said, "But the Tooth Fairy is real.  And so is Santa Claus."

Bam!  Rob looked at her, and looked at her.  I was staring at Rob, looking quite smug as I tried not to laugh and/or fist pump for the cleverness of my daughter.  Finally Rob said, "We're not going to discuss that right now."

I said, "No, Rob.  I want to see how you field that."
He said, "You just did."

Randomness Smashed Together

Best $5 Christmas purchase for 2010:

Seriously.  SO cheerful.  Not sure I'll survive another winter without one.  (And did you know there's no 't' in the middle of the word?  It's poinsettia.)

And since we're on the subject of winter plants, you should avoid paper white narcissus at all costs.  They stink.  Leave them as spring bulbs in your garden.  Trust me.

Star Wars

One of the best Christmas gifts for the kids was a box full of Star Wars toys from Uncle Garrett.  Inspired by Toy Story 3, he passed on a treasure trove of action figures for my kids to enjoy.  The boys especially love them, even though they aren't super familiar with the characters.  Tank picked up Admiral Ackbar and said, "And here's this weird looking guy."

Then Tank suggested that we watch all 6 movies.  We've watched movies 1 and 2, and it's interesting how different the experience is for our kids.  They don't know the storyline through and through.  So when we were finished with movie 1, Elijah was going on about how cool Anakin is.  Miciah looked at him and said, "He's not a good guy, Elijah.  He turns into Darth Vader."  A look of profound shock came over his face.  He turned to Rob as if to say, "Tell me it isn't true."  We both wanted to die laughing.  Elijah went on and on about how it can't be true that Anakin turns into Vader because Anakin is a jedi who was taught by jedis and jedis are good guys, so it can't be true, right?  ...  You'll have to wait and see.  Dun dun dun!

T-shirts

I've never liked the tight-fitting layered shirt look.  When it started coming in style I was baffled.  How it's STAYED in style is even more baffling still!  ...  Fashion doesn't make sense to me anyway, so I guess that it's not too surprising.  Anyways, I was thinking about how I just wanted to wear a normal t-shirt.  Options on t-shirts that are wearable without being see-through have gone down in recent years.  So, much to my delight, my younger brother Chad bought me this great t-shirt for Christmas:

Can you see what that says?  (These are mirror shots, remember.)

I grew up in St. Louis.  Love it.

(And, as a side note, I have no objection to layering a short-sleeve shirt on top of a long-shirt sleeve.  It's a look I've never objected to.  Plus, it makes sense:  I'm cold, so I need to wear a long-sleeve shirt, but I love to wear t-shirts.  Solution?  Combine them!)

And now, to prove I've never had a sense of fashion, here's a picture of me doing the short-sleeve on short-sleeve shirt look in High School.  I was 15 years old:

Not sure why I was wearing it like that, with a baggy shirt underneath.  Not sure there has to be a reason for what people wear when they're 15 years old.  (Normally I wore that yellow shirt with a patterned long-sleeve black and red Mickey Mouse shirt underneath.  Cause those matched SO well.)

Sickness

Last week Rob and I were talking about how our family hadn't yet been hit by the Annual Winter Stomach Bug.  Shouldn't have said it out loud.

Bed time, a few nights back.  Tank came out of his room and said that his belly hurt.  I told him to get a bowl and get back in bed.  So he did.  About half an hour later Elijah came out of the room and said, "Tank is asleep, so I brought out his bowl."  I thought about telling Elijah to put it back, but then I thought, "What are the odds that Tank will need it in the middle of the night?"  Well, I don't know what the odds are, but he needed it that night.  He yelled for us to come help him, and then he said, "I couldn't find the bowl."  Gratefully, Rob sees it as the father's job to help out kids in the middle of the night ("You get the day shift and I get the night shift."), so he took care of it.

Tank's stomach bug lasted all of 5 minutes, and he was fine by morning.  Miciah is sick today.  Same thing:  she's been running around totally happy.  Stomach Bug says, "2 down, 3 to go!"  If we have to be sick, though, this bug isn't so bad.

Last night Tank said his stomach hurt again.  I don't think it really did, but I told him to go get a bowl anyway.  He said, "Should I put it under my pillow?"  "The bowl?  No, just put it beside you."  I heard him going through the bowl stack, picking one out, and then he came out with this one:

"I got the big one."  Seriously, that bowl is huge!  It's so big that we rarely use it.  There just isn't much need for a monster bowl like that.

I'm trying to figure out how he thought he could sleep with that bowl under his pillow.

Night Time Reading

Last night, just before 11:00, Miciah came walking upstairs, half-asleep, hair in her face.  She walked to the bathroom and Rob said, "I hope you've already been asleep."  In a groggy voice, she responded that she hadn't, but that her light had been off since 9:30, her official Stop Reading and Turn Off The Light time.  Without missing a beat, Rob said, "But you've been reading by the light of your night light."  Miciah's face broke into a wide smile.

Rob said, "She thinks we don't know."  We can't really be mad at her, though, cause we did it as kids, too, and we still do it now when we have an especially good book.  We told her so, and then we told her that we love that she loves reading, but also that sleep is a good thing.  Miciah told us, in a perfectly awake voice, that to get enough reading light, she takes the night light (which is also her alarm clock) and puts it right next to her head.  I suggested that she should just leave her light on if she's going to continue reading.  That way she won't hurt her eyes by reading in low light.

After she went downstairs, Rob and I were giggling about her act.  It dawned on me that she turns off her light dutifully at 9:30 every night so that she can tell us the truth about it.  "I turned off my light when you told me to!"  Then, for last night, she put her hair in her face, and made her voice sound all tired.  We were impressed with the amount of effort she put into the performance.

Good Reads

A bunch of years ago I asked people to e-mail me suggestions for good books to read.  Then I wrote down the list on a piece of paper and promptly forgot about it.  Well, I was sorting through old papers this morning and found the paper in the stack.  Happily, I've read half of the books on the list! 

I was then wondering how it was possible that I've read all those books, when I didn't even remember the list.  So here's some fun numbers. 
There are 16 books on the list.  (1 of the books on the list is a series with 13 books in it.  If you include that series, it's 28 books.)
I've read 8 of the 16 books. (If you include the 13 book series as part of the percentage, I've read 20 of 28 books, and my percentage read jumps up to 71%.)
5 of those 8 were purchased for me by friends and family who love me.
1 of them I was already reading when the list was made.
1 of them I found at the library and remembered that it had been recommended.
1 of them I borrowed from my brother.
And of the 8 I've read, I've LOVED 5 of them, liked 2, and disliked 1.

So, thank you to those who bought me books that I enjoyed.  And thanks, in general, to people who recommend books to me.  I love books.

Lastly, here's a plug for goodreads.  It's like Facebook for books and I love it!

The list, with ones I've read in blue, and who recommended it in ( )s:
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen (Mom)
Elantris by Brandon Sanderson (Chad)
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (Kendra)
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (Josh)
All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot (Justin)
Crime and Punishment by Fyoder Dostoevsky (Collin)
Maus part 1 by Spiegelman (Justin)

Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre (Collin)

Anna Karina by Leo Tolstoy (Katie & Dad)

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson (Justin)

Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman (Dad)

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (Katie)

Gardens of the Moon by Stephen Erikson (Justin)
The Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson (Justin)
Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut (Julianne)
The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers (me)

A Brand New Teancom for 2011

Teancom, way back when

Teancom has been my cuddly, cuddly boy who loves watching TV and eating crackers.  He's also been whiny and demanding and shy.  This last month, though, has been magic.  He's made a lot of changes.  And so it is with great pride that I introduce ...

Teancom: Version 2011!

* He says prayers without help.
* He sits still and listens when we read scriptures and say family prayer.  No bouncing, kicking, or whining. 
* He goes to church without a fight.  Sits quietly through Sacrament Meeting.  Doesn't lay on the floor throwing a fit.
* He loves his Sunday School teacher and goes to Primary without crying.  When I realized a few weeks ago that Tank was getting a new teacher at the start of the year, I almost cried.  2010 was a long, long year in Primary for Tank and he was just starting to not hate his teacher (who's an adorable and amazing person, by the way.  It's not like she's a deadbeat).  The first day with his new 2011 teacher, Bro. V., I went to pick Tank up and asked Bro. V. how Tank did.  To my complete surprise, he said Tank did great.  I didn't believe him.  Tank has since told us that he LIKES church.  What?!  Where did THAT come from?
* Tank tells us that he's excited for school in the Fall.  It still scares him a little, but he's starting to see that there could be advantages.
* He's showing interest in letters and writing.  He can now tell me the name and sound of most of the letters of the alphabet, and he shows great pride in getting them right.  Last week he wrote his name for the first time.

* He eats dinner.  Doesn't even throw a fit about it.
* He doesn't throw a fit when I tell him that he has to eat his food at the table.
* When he's frustrated, he comes up with solutions to his problems.  He might throw a small fit, but then he'll realize that's pointless and start proposing compromises.
* He's also now grown out of cuddling with me every morning.  That may or may not be an "improvement," but it is a sign that he's growing up.  In fact, in general, we cuddle about a fourth as much as we were cuddling even a few months ago.  He still wants to be near me sometimes, but often he'll just want to come sit BY me instead of on my lap.  Honestly, I miss my Teancom cuddle time, but I also know that it's wonderful that he's maturing.  I don't want him to stay little forever.

It now seems entirely possible to me that he'll eventually be a 5-year-old.  Just last month I was thinking to myself that I couldn't imagine Teancom being 5 and taking steps towards independence.  In so many ways he was refusing to grow up, and I was starting to worry that he wouldn't be ready for school or life in general.  But I can see it now.  I can imagine him getting on a bus that will take him to school.  I can imagine him sitting at school all day without crying.  I can imagine him actually eating lunch.  I can imagine him insisting to walk instead of being carried.  And it's a beautiful, wonderful vision.

But he'll always be my Baby Cakes.

Beyond Gratitude

As I was adding the pictures to my last post, there was a knock at the door.  I wasn't expecting anyone at 2 in the afternoon.  I thought maybe it was the Jehovah's Witnesses coming back with another copy of The Watch Tower.  To my complete surprise, my Dad and my brother Chad were standing on my front porch.  Then I looked over to the driveway, and there was my parents' van. 

It took me a few minutes.  "Wait.  You DROVE here."  Uh-huh.  "From California."  Yep.  "You just DROVE here."

I was telling my father that most people don't just show up from California unannounced.  Then I stopped and said, "Nevermind.  You do that all the time."  My father stops by on business trips when he has layovers and he'll spend a day or two with my family and then fly out again.  It's great.  But he's never shown up with my brother, with their van.

With gifts!  He brought me a new computer, and my brother Chad's computer expertise to install it.  Chad re-invented our laptop, got the new computer to do what we wanted it to, and then my father got us several software and hardware upgrades.  ...  Remember in my last post when I said that I like it when Christmas ends?  Just kidding!  I like it when Christmas extends into January.

But the biggest gift was the van itself.  My dad and brother drove here and then flew home, leaving the van for my family.  ...  I don't even have words for it.  I would say that I feel grateful, but grateful isn't good enough.  It was an act of love, combined with a super-human effort.  My mother now doesn't have a car.  I mean, there are other people's cars at her house, and she can get around, but she just gifted her van to me because "I needed it more."  Then my dad and brother spent a lot of time and effort and money to drive it to me.  What are the right words for this occasion?  Certainly "thank you" doesn't cut it.

I feel extremely grateful to be surrounded by good people who love me.  People who think it's a higher good to help others instead of keeping for themselves.  People who have helped us when it didn't make any sense for them to do so.  People who give with no thought of getting back.  I am amazed by these people, and I hope someday to be known as the same kind of person.

Thank you.

Best Christmas Ever!

Not really.  But it was good and fun and I liked it.

 

(What says Christmas better than a robot snowman?)

Lights at the Zoo

We have a zoo pass this year for the first time, so we enjoyed lights at the zoo.  It was crazy-packed because we went the night before Christmas Eve, but it was fun.  One of the best parts was walking through the light tunnel (the lights moved),

 and the trees that were timed with a Christmas song.  Pretty cool.  Then we went home and drank hot chocolate cause we were all ice cubes before the night was over.

Christmas Eve

We went to Khron's Conservatory with the kids.  Usually this is an anniversary activity for us, but our kids are getting bigger and they're more fun to take places now. 

 Fun enough, Santa was there.  The guy must have been a Santa at a local mall, cause he came prepared with candy canes and told the kids that he'd see them later that night.  Cute.

tangent about Santa Claus
Let's interject here that my boys are totally and completely sold on the idea of Santa Claus, which makes me uneasy.  Santa is fun and all, but it's a lie.  A grand, magical, fun lie, but still a lie.  I was trying to drop hints to them about how he's not real, but they didn't catch it.  "Isn't it UNBELIEVABLE that Santa travels around the world in one night?!"  Rob kicked me for that one.  ...  Elijah's teacher the Sunday after Christmas (not in my home ward) told the kids that she'd seen Santa Claus and the reindeer, and Elijah was so excited telling us about it, and I just glared at Rob and told him that I hated him and that he had BETTER take care of this.  ...  I don't mind us allowing the kids to believe in Santa.  It's hard for me from time to time, but they do love it, and Santa can be made into a good message.  But I object deeply to people making up stories and making huge productions about it.  If you have to feed the kids lies and make a production to keep them believing, isn't it time to just drop it?

To Rob's credit, he works with me.  He patiently explained to Elijah that his teacher didn't see Santa Claus, cause no one actually has.  Then explained to him that people actually HAVE seen Christ.  (And herein is my problem with Santa Claus.  Santa Claus = Christ.  Santa Claus = a lie.  Therefore Christ = ?)  ...  Whatever.  I'm not going to be able to do it for many more years.  My boys are just so trusting.  Rob says he'll tell Elijah when he's 9.  I might insist on 8. 
end of tangent

I suggested to the kids that we skip carrying presents out to the tree.  They didn't like that.  So we kept our traditions of The Christmas Story telling, new pajamas, and carrying the presents to the tree.

Christmas Day

We opened presents and played games and then, around noon, started packing up to go see Rob's family.  Our Christmas traveling rule includes not being stressed about travel.  And Rob got super stressed out, and I told him he was grounded  next year.  If someone asks if we're willing to travel on Christmas day, the answer is no.  If they ask why, we can say, "Because last year failed."  So there.

His brothers and sister sang a lovely Christmas song on Sunday morning, which off-set the fact that one of the missionaries in the ward gave the worst talk I've ever heard.  I almost went and told him so, but decided to be nice and only complain to Rob's family about it.

We spent the next 48 hours hanging out with his whole family:  lots and lots of kids and chaos.  It was brilliant!

Then we came home and finished up with what seemed like the second half of Christmas day.  We played with the new toys and watched our Christmas movie (Toy Story 3, which wasn't AMAZING like everyone told us it was (did anyone else notice that it was the same plot as Toy Story 2?), but it was good), and I went to bed at 9 because a migraine was threatening to ruin the next day.

I woke up 12 hours later without a migraine and we shipped our kids off so we could celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  We went to the temple in Columbus, ate lunch together, and shopped a little.  It was great.  The next day we watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (which was way better than I'd even hoped.  Loved it!) and just kinda hung out.  Around 3:00 we were starting our second movie when the preview for Tron: Legacy came on and I was reminded that I wanted to go see it.  So we spontaneously went and watched it in Imax 3D.  It was not worth the Imax 3D price, and the ending killed the movie for the both of us.  Fun movie, though, and the visuals were cool.  Then we went home and ate Raman and avacado sandwiches, cause we're awesomely romantic like that.

Last movie the next morning was The Sorcerer's Apprentice which was horrid.  Rob said, "It was fun!" and that's true.  But, seriously.  They poked fun at the whole Merlin magic thing until it felt like a mockery.  The lead male character's crisis wasn't sold well enough.  And the lead female character was beautiful and nice but stupid ("I don't understand science or any of that stuff, but I do love music!  And did I mention that I'm really pretty when I smile?  People love that.").  Gag me.  I asked Rob how he could stand watching such shallow, horrible characters, and he said, "I don't analyze my movies, Tamra.  It allows me to just enjoy them."  Oh. 

Basically, I was reminded, again, why I don't watch many movies.

We had the time to fight on our 48 hour date.  It hadn't occurred to me before that fighting is a luxury of time.  Normally there are too many things to do to bother with fighting.  :)  But we got in a good pointless fight, which was more fun than you'd think it would be.

We also reflected on our last 10 years of marriage and about what may or may not be coming in the next 10 years (like it's possible to know).  In 10 years Miciah will be 19 years old and in college (or whatever she wants to do)!  That's nuts.  Elijah and Tank will be in high school.  We'll be 41 and 39 years old.  We'll be completely out of debt.  Hopefully we'll have been able to take some nice family trips.  ...  We didn't dream about the roadblocks coming, but I know they're there.  Bring it on, life!  It's been worth it thus far, so I have a lot of hope for the years to come.

New Year's Eve
Then we picked up our kids, took down the Christmas tree (hurray!), and went to a party where we talked and had fun.  We were home with our kids by 10, and we stayed up until midnight and played games.  Well, everyone else played games and had fun, and I mostly slept on the couch.  After it was all over, Rob came to pick me up and carry me to bed, and I think I tried to kill him.  He left me there.

New Year's Day
The next day I could appreciate that it was fun to watch the kids enjoying our time up late on New Year's Eve.  Teancom loved banging the pots and pans.  Elijah was totally into the games we were playing.  And Miciah could stay up until 4 every morning if we let her.  It's nice that our family is getting older, and the kids are fully able to participate in fun things.  I LOVE that our kids are getting older. 

We had the missionaries over, as well as some friends, and we played games and talked and ate and enjoyed the new year's day.

End of Holidays
And that's that.  I'm glad the holidays are over and that we can now move about the cabin freely.  Every year I enjoy the craziness that is the holidays, and then I enjoy that they're over, too.  You know how people sing songs about making Christmas last all year?  That's my version of Hell.  I love Christmas, but I love when it's over, too.

Oh.  Sometime in there the sun came out, the temperatures rose, the snow melted, and the kids were able to play outside with friends!  It was a nice break from the ultra-cold temps we've had through most of December.  Also with the warm-up, our basement flooded a little.  We figured it was from the snow melt (even though that's never happened before), but discovered a few days later that the hose was on!  Ugh!  We think it'd been on for months but the temperatures were so cold outside that it kept the water frozen and therefore not running.  Problem solved now, but man, we felt like idiots.

(And please note that this was posted before February!  Hurray for me!)