Ohio Reception

Picture of me and Rob with all his family.

On our wedding day we had a reception in Utah. We chilled for a few days (we didn't have a real honeymoon, since we had no money and no real time), and then headed to Ohio for a second reception there. Rob's family lives in Ohio.

The day of the Ohio reception was a huge snow storm, so there wasn't a huge turnout. My parents flew out to join us for the reception, and that was nice.

Picture of me and J, who made the drive from Cincinnati. She showed with her mother, S, and J's boyfriend at the time.

Me dancing with my father. He doesn't like these pictures (despite what I've said other places), but they're wonderful pictures. This is the ONLY time in my life that I've seen my dad dance.


After the reception my parents went down to Cincinnati to spend time with R & C. C is my mom's sister. They look and act a lot alike. This is one of my favorite pictures of them.

We also had an open house at my parent's house in CA mid-January. 3 of those types of things is too many. I lost patience after #2. Just not my thing. But it was nice to have all those people show up to honor us and give us well wishes as we started our life together.

(written 23 July 2008)

Excerpt from Rob's Journal

I have been married for almost one week already. So much to catch up on. Once again I don’t have the time now to catch it all. I love being married. It has been a great week. At our sealing the sealer told us a great deal about the symbolism of the endowment. How wonderful that was! I learned so much.
She was absolutely gorgeous in her wedding dress. The day went wonderfully and after the reception we went to Salt Lake for the evening. Saw The Testaments the next day, and have been enjoying all of our time w/one another. I love her so very much. We are flying to Ohio tomorrow—our courtship, engagement, preparation and marriage are really a wonderful story. I need to write it down. …
RIT

Wedding Pictures

We were married on December 21st at the River Jordan Temple in Utah. It was SO COLD on that day, but it was beautiful. And really, who cares about the weather anyway? We got married!!! Happiness.



This is one of my VERY favorite wedding pictures. Technically it's probably a horrid picture, but I love it, love it, love it.

Me "dodging" Rob's kisses:

Me and Rob with our parents. My parents on the left. His on the right.

Thacker family, with parents and grandparents. Grandpa & Grandma D on the left. V & C on the right, with Grandma Thacker, beside them.

Thacker family: Rob's siblings and their spouses, and Rob's parents. L to R: M & K, G, me and Rob, C & V, P (in front), B, D & C (holding M).

The T family: my siblings and their spouses. B was missing because X was born the day before, so B & J were at the hospital. L to R: J, C, K, M & J, me and Rob, L, C, J.

December 21, 2000 – We Finally Got Married!!

December 21, 2000 – We Finally Got Married!!

Okay, so 2 months doesn’t seem like a long engagement, but it had been a long time for me. A very stressful, long time at that. I was tired and worn out, but happy to be getting married to Rob!

The sealing ceremony was at 10 a.m. or somewhere around that time. Rob and I got to drive down to the temple together, which was fun. We had to do some paperwork and then we met for a minute with the sealer. He was a nice man. He worked making glass eyes and I remember him saying that it would be hard to make a glass eye to replace mine because my eyes were so pretty. It was cute for him to say.

Then we were in the sealing room surrounded by family and love. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time and there was nothing anti-climactic about it. It was everything I hoped it would be. The sealer told lots of insights about the endowment ceremony, most of which was over my head because I had just received mine the day before and it’s a lot of information to take in at once (or even twice or ten times). He gave us some good advice about not going into debt and being patient with money. And then he sealed us for time and all eternity. Rob’s dad and my dad were the witnesses and they got to sign their names very officially on the marriage license.

I had been praying ever since we got engaged that Ruben would be at the sealing ceremony. I think I probably expected to physically see him there. And I didn’t physically see him, but I felt his presence and I felt how pleased he was with me. There is a line said in the sealing ceremony that indicates that angels are watching the ceremony. I knew that Ruben was one of those angels. This brought me happiness and peace.

We walked out of the temple that day companions for eternity. I couldn’t have been happier. I thought back on the revelation I’d had about my wedding day. About the happiness I’d felt in that vision that I couldn’t duplicate for all I tried. I felt that happiness and joy on my wedding day. It was cold as cold can get that day, but my heart was full of gladness and warmth. I knew it was the Spirit testifying to me that I had done the right thing and married a good man.

Rob: I knew I had married my best friend. I was excited for our life together. I would do it again. She is the love of my life for all eternity.


Well, that’s the story. The rest of the details fall under our marriage, not our courting and engagement. Being married to Rob is everything I hoped it would be and more.

written Spring 2006

December 20, 2000 – Went Through the Temple and X is Born!

December 20, 2000 – Went Through the Temple and X is Born!

To this day B will tell you that I was “difficult” when I got married. Which actually stems from the fact that I think I stepped on his toes a little when I planned my wedding for a day after his first baby was due: December 20th. I figured it would work out well because my parents were already going to be out in Utah for Christmas. Kill two birds with one stone, I thought. Well, B informed me that this was “stealing his spotlight,” as he said. I told him that was a little stupid and he said it was just something I should think about. So I cleared it with the boss: his wife. She said she thought B was being silly and that I should do the wedding whenever. … B was not the only one with complaints about when we planned our wedding. Grandma D also let it be known that we had been completely inconsiderate about the timing of our wedding. They had a trip they had to be on and probably had to rearrange things to be there. I was a little offended. We had tried hard to find a good time for everyone, but as you find out over time, it is impossible to please everyone.

So plans went on. And as it turns out, the morning I was to get out my Endowment, X (B and J's son) was born. So B was not there for the Endowment session. I don’t remember if B was there for the wedding ceremony, but I think he might not have been. Obviously his priority lay at the time with his wife and newborn son. This was fine, and the way it should be.

We had some mishaps getting to the temple that day. I gave my mom and dad directions to the wrong Grandma’s house on the way to get Rob. So this caused us a little delay as we had to cut back across town. Then, on the way to the Mount Tempanogas Temple, there was a traffic jam on the freeway. So Rob took us winding around town to get there. I remember asking, “Does Satan always make it this difficult to get to the temple?” And Rob said, “Not if we surprise him.”

It was lovely to get out my endowment with my mom as my escort. Rob’s Grandpa D was the officiator. It was a little scary at first to not know what was going on, and we had some funny wardrobe mishaps, but it was well worth it. Rob got to take me through the veil and then we were united with our families in the Celestial Room. It was a wonderful sight. And a comforting one. Something about the clothes Rob was wearing, that I had never seen before, was familiar to me. Then I remembered that I would have seen Ruben in his temple clothes after he died. And I was grateful to have had that experience to make the moment in the Celestial Room feel very peaceful: like coming home.

Rob: The experience of taking my soon-to-be-wife through the veil was probably one of the greatest experiences of my life. It was indescribable to be on the other side and hear her voice and see her in that way. I am so grateful I married her in the temple. I am so grateful our marriage is eternal. I look forward to someday sharing that with her again.

written Spring 2006

December 19, 2000 – Sub 4 Santa and the D’s Christmas Party

December 19, 2000 – Sub 4 Santa and the D’s Christmas Party

In our BYU ward, Rob and I and a few other people had been in charge of a family for Sub 4 Santa. Rob and I were two of three people that were still around after Finals, so we got to buy all the stuff and deliver it. So we delivered it all on that Tuesday and it was a humbling experience. The woman we brought it to was a normal person. She wasn’t destitute, she was just struggling trying to raise 2 kids. I remember thinking this wasn’t what I thought we’d find. And it made me more grateful to be a part of it that she was so grateful to have our help. It was a good experience.

There were other service projects that I helped Rob do a lot with. Piles and piles of canned goods for a food drive that we did. We carried them from the basement to his car so we could deliver them. It was nice to be involved with Rob in something so wholesome and good. Service is a great thing.

The D’s Christmas Party Tuesday evening was interesting. Grandma D offended C and C went away crying. It seems something like this happens often around Grandma D. This did not impress me. And I got a good idea of how crazy Rob’s family is. They’re good people and I loved being with them.

Rob’s dad took Rob for some time around the end of the party and they had their “talk.” You know, the father-son pre-marriage talk. I remember Rob’s dad making a comment about Rob’s fly being down, but it wasn’t. Rob wore these pants that the fly always did funny things and it would look like it was down, but it wasn’t. I liked the pants, though.

Rob: My dad and I didn’t have our “talk” that night. The talk happened the next day when we were driving to try and find the Inn on the Creek up in Midway. He just wanted to share a few things he had learned over the years, which was a little weird, but was helpful. The fly thing was simply that the flap that covered the zipper on the pants needed to be ironed so it was flipped funny and the zipper could be seen, though it wasn’t down. My dad was just making sure that his son wasn’t walking around flashing people. What a good dad.

written Spring 2006

December 18, 2000 – Rob’s Family Arrives

December 18, 2000 – Rob’s Family Arrives

My family came in town the Saturday after Finals. Rob and I both had to be out of our apartments some time that weekend or the next week, so we packed up our stuff and I stayed with B and J, and Rob stayed with someone else, though I don’t remember who. Probably Grandma Thacker.

Rob’s family was supposed to arrive December 17th, but they were delayed by a snow storm that shut down parts of the highway they were coming in on, I-80. They went to church in the morning and because they went to church, they stalled long enough that they weren’t caught in a horrible snow storm later in the day Sunday. I was impressed that it worked out that way for them. Whether it was the Spirit that helped protect them or just their righteous desire to go to church, it didn’t matter. They were spiritual people.

They arrived on Monday. Rob’s mom and dad got to B and J’s apartment, where Rob and I were, when I was getting my hair cut. My mom cut Rob’s hair first. I was a little bummed that the big moment of me meeting his family had to be spoiled by a haircut. Not very romantic like in the movies, you know? But it was good to finally meet the people I’d come to know only over the phone.

I remember when they were going out to the car. I ran and jumped on Rob’s back for a piggy back ride. Rob’s dad laughed and said that it was good, I would keep him on his toes.

written Spring 2006

December 11 – 15, 2000 – Finals Week

December 11 – 15, 2000 – Finals Week

Ick, finals. Like I said, I’d been so stressed about getting the wedding planned and doing school that I probably didn’t do a very good job at either. Nor was I particularly stable for Rob. I didn’t want Rob to go blind into our marriage, and I didn’t want him to be surprised when these other “sides” of me popped up later. So not that I planned it, but I was depressed and angry and any other thing you can think of, probably several of them at once. There were days that I thought he might call it off or days where I wondered if I was ready for all this. I wanted nothing more than to marry Rob, but I didn’t want him to look back and think it was a mistake. So he had to know that I had “issues” in some areas of my life. And he found out. I was so unstable emotionally at the time, it seemed, that he got a good spectrum of Tamra. And he still married me. What a guy!

There was once I remember when I was upset at Rob, though I don’t remember why. I went to my apartment and started playing Tetris (my universal answer for life at the time). Then, against my will, I got over it. I felt kinder towards Rob and I felt peace. And the feeling I got was that this was NOT because I deserved it; it was because Rob deserved it. This made little sense to me at the time. Later Rob told me that he had sent his guardian angel to comfort me. And I knew that that was exactly what happened. I thought it very unfair. But I was even more impressed with Rob.

Rob: I just remember that Tamra was very upset and I was concerned about her. I felt that she needed some extra help that day. I felt it very appropriate to send my angel to watch over her. After all she was going to be a part of my eternity and he should have had as much interest in protecting her as protecting me. It’s nice to know he is obedient.

During finals week I broke down a little more than normal. It was as close as I think I’ve ever been to a nervous breakdown. I was so stressed I basically couldn’t study for my finals. I told Rob about this and about how worried I was about my classes. He just hugged me and told me that the Lord knew me and he knew the stress I’d been under. He said the Lord would bless me, even though I wasn’t able to put in the study time I wanted. I was calmed by this. And it turned out to be the most academically successful semester of my college career.

Rob: Just as a side note, it was my worst ever and I spent several semesters trying to recover. It was a combination of no sleep and stress. I had several note pages with scribbled lines down them from when I had fallen asleep in class. I just remember being so tired all the time.

Rob was a calming agent in my life and a blessing to me. There was one conversation we had about how it was hard for me to forgive certain people of certain things. I got the feeling that it was not hard for Rob to forgive. I asked him how he did it and he told me the most powerful thing I’ve ever taken to heart in my life: You just do it. So profound and simple. And who would have known that it WORKS!

It seems the engagement period was to be a learning one for Rob and for me. Rob got to see more sides of me and understand more of who I was and what he was getting into. And I was given visions and insights into Rob and who he was. The visions I was given, however, were glorious and sacred to me. Shortly after we were engaged, I was given a very real glimpse of Rob and who he is. This was given to me through the Spirit and it amazed me. I remember thinking, “Who is this man?” Obviously he is great in the eyes of God and He wanted me to know that so I would be sure I was up for being his wife. I have since told Rob’s parents and siblings about this vision I was given and came to find out that most people who know Rob feel the same way: that he is special to our Heavenly Father. I went to Rob and just asked, “Who are you?” I’m sure my eyes must have been full of wonder and awe. Rob seemed to be a “normal” person, but there was nothing ordinary about what I had seen in vision. Rob at that point allowed me to read his patriarchal blessing for the first time. He is promised some amazing things in there and I was floored. I remember thinking again, “Who is this man? And why has he chosen to be with me? And am I up for the privilege of marrying him?”

As to why Rob chose me to be his wife, I don’t know. Because I’m lucky. As for if I was up to marrying him and all that would entail: definitely!! I knew it would mean dedication to the Lord and His Work, but I was ready for that. It’s what I wanted to do anyway. It might not be easy, but it would be worth it.

written Spring 2006