UNEXPECTED

by Robert Teancom Thacker

It was dark and cold, there was a flash of lightning on Edalbert Drive, Cincinnati Ohio.  I, Teancom, was at home in the middle of the night.  My dad hadn't come home from work yet, and I was sleeping.  I woke up from the door slam.  I just thought it was Dad, so I went out to greet him, but nobody was there.  I went down the stairs, and looked in my siblings' rooms.  They were gone!  I hastened back upstairs to my parents' room.  Mom was gone too!!!

"They have to be somewhere!" I proclaimed.  Then I looked out the living room window.  There in the walkway was a floating light.  I hurried outside and walked cautiously over to it.  The light was a spark!  Walking to the driveway, I saw Dad's car, but it wasn't actually there, only a figment of my imagination.  "What is going on around here?!?" I asked.  I turned around and the spark was gone!  Running quickly to my house, I tried to open the door.  It was locked!  I peered in the window, and saw my cat with a witch hat on, or was it his Halloween costume?  Then I heard an evil laugh.

Freaked out, I ran across the grass, but I fell to the ground shocked when I heard a howl somewhat like a wolf.  I looked at the moon.  "Full," I said.  All of a sudden the power went out in my house.  The spark reappeared.

I heard another howl, except this time it was louder.  I felt something brush against my leg.  A distant rustle in my neighbor's bush caught my eye.  It was then that I saw the giant glowing red eyes.  As soon as I got a hold of myself and was less scared, it leaped out.  "Oooooooooow!!!" I yelled, just as the creature struck my leg.  In a lot of pain, I fell on the ground and screamed.

"What is happening?!" I shouted in terror.  I stumbled up, but fell back down.  I tried to scream at the beast, but all that came out was a roar.  I looked at myself, and I was changing.  Crawling over to the front steps, I sat down.  The thought that rushed through my head was that I was never going to see anyone again because they would be full of fear.  For as the fiend was so terrifying, I, too, was becoming a wolf just like it.

I unlocked the door with my claw and walked in.  A witch was sitting on a broom she obviously got from our kitchen ready to strike.  She swooped over to me.  My sharp fingers ran into her heart which was completely her fault.  She fell on the floor and vanished.

I dashed down the stairs and looked in my siblings' bedrooms.  There lying in their beds were monsters instead of my brother and sister.  I went to their beds and struck the monsters.  In their place were my siblings.  I crawled upstairs and killed the monster in Mom's place.  She reappeared, so I crawled out.  I wanted to sleep right then, but I couldn't.

Then I remembered I was a wolf!  I ran back outside and looked at the spark.  It had a tube under it!  I soon realized it was an antidote.  A beep made me jump, and I grabbed the antidote and ran inside.  My dad soon walked in the door and into the room I was in.  He screamed.  Although he soon realized it was me, now all my family members were gathered around me.  They accepted me for who I am, I thought.

I live with my family, as a wolf.  I walk with them.  And not only because we lost the antidote.  I like being a wolf.

THE END...

Why We Loved Hanukkah

We've been exploring world religions as a family.  It's been fun, enlightening, and mind expanding for all of us.  We're following this book and we've just finished pre-historic religions.  (Side note: If you want to discuss world religions with your kids, the book is great and I totally recommend it.)  Our discussions centering on the book have led to some fascinating places that we never have explored in the past.  And it led to Miciah declaring, out of the blue, that she'd like to celebrate Hanukkah.

Well, why not?

So we did and it was AWESOME.  Here's what we did.

First, I went to an actual Jewish synagogue (or maybe they prefer the term temple?) to purchase a menorah.  When I looked online for "Hanukkah supplies," I kept being directed to party stores.  No, I don't want blue party plates.  I want an actual, non-lame menorah!  So gift shop inside the synagogue it was.

The old ladies who worked there were super sweet.  I walked in, told them I wasn't Jewish, but that our family had decided to celebrate Hanukkah, and they helped me find a nice, but less expensive menorah, candles, dreidels, and rules for the dreidel game.  And then they invited me to come to Saturday services and meet their very warm and welcoming rabbi, and maybe I should think about being Jewish.  I thanked them politely and very honestly told them that I was currently religiously homeless.  It was a really nice experience.

This isn't the menorah we used, but isn't it gorgeous?!

Next, we invited a Jewish friend over to explain Hanukkah to us a little bit and to talk about how her family celebrated Hanukkah.  You know, put a personal touch on it.  She explained that you light the candles just after sunset, say a very short prayer (in Yiddish or English, whatever you prefer), and eat latkes and play dreidels if you want.  And that's it.  

That's it?  So simple!

5 Things to Love about Hanukkah:

1 - Lighting candles is so calming.  We'd take turns lighting the candles (with the servant candle - I love that there's a servant candle!  And that it's the tallest one!) and then we'd all just sit and look at the candles for a while.  The stillness.  So much calm love.

2 - Christian tradition is an offshoot of Jewish tradition.  I've always wondered why we, as Christians, didn't celebrate Jewish holidays.  I mean, the Old Testament is claimed by us, too.  Shouldn't we be all about Passover?!  I realize, now, that Christians were looking for a way to differentiate themselves from the Jews, etc., etc., but still.  

3 - Saying prayers in unison as a family is a beautiful experience.  Normally when we pray, we take turns.  But saying the three set prayers together was ... I don't know how to describe it.  It was just beautiful.  It's changed how we all look at prayers (like, can prayers be rote or not?), and how we say them.

4 - Setting aside time for 8 nights during busy December to slow it down.  For serious.  Who doesn't need more of this?!  And since so little time is required, and so little is expected, the celebration didn't add to our stress levels.  In fact, it helped decrease stress.  Brilliant.

5 - Learning about different cultures / traditions is fun!  The old ladies at the gift shop were kinda surprised when I told them that I'd been to a Passover meal, that I'd eaten unleavened bread for almost a year when I was a teenager, and that I love matzo balls and soup.  I guess that curiosity mixed with respect is the tradition that was passed on to me by my mother and it's one that I hope gets passed on to my children.

So, yay for Hanukkah!  We're already looking forward to next year's celebration.

2015

As this year wraps up, I have been thinking a lot about what this year has been, what it's meant to me, where I'm at now.  It's a lot to contemplate.  But mostly what I settle on is how darn grateful I feel.

This year Rob and I celebrate our 15 year anniversary.  Most years we've celebrated the number of years.  You know, "Wow, 10 years.  Think about that!  An entire decade together."  But this year I'm grateful to even have an anniversary.  Forget the number of years, I AM STILL MARRIED!  After a year like this, that's something to celebrate in and of itself.

This year I officially left the Mormon church.  I'd been taking a break, like a vacation.  Now it's a permanent separation.  And you know what?  It didn't kill me.  I'm not a puddle of sorrow.  I didn't lose my morality, purpose, or sense of self.  AND I still have friends!  What's not to celebrate about that?!

This year I realized that I need to work less hours.  This Spring was really tough with Rob's travel schedule and I found myself thinking, "You know what this family needs?  Someone who manages 5 people's schedules, makes meals, goes shopping, drives the kids around ...  Oh wait. ..."  Not that I wasn't doing that already, but our family was so stressed that it suddenly dawned on me that I just needed to work less and that if I did, our family would run smoother.  So I do work less and it did have the desired outcome.  Did and done.

This year Rob got some kick ass bonuses.  He's had an exceptional year and I can't tell you how much this has helped ease our minds.  With all the other craziness going on in our lives, all the other stresses, finances was not one of them.  So grateful.

This year I dropped out of BYU for good.  This one is harder for me to feel grateful for.  Wasted time and money on this last go round.  But it does mean that I now get to study what I want to, when I want to.  I have the mental time and energy for myself and my family.  On top of that, I get to now think about a whole new direction for a bachelor's degree.  And that makes me happy.  (There's this opportunity in a year or two that might be opening, and I'm crossing my fingers for that.  I haven't been excited about a bachelor's in a long, long time.  I'm hoping that it all comes together.)

This year I started the gardens at our house.  You guys have no idea how happy this makes me.  So, so, so, so happy.  I'll take pictures in 2016 and post them. 

This year I found my strength.  For so long I've thought that I wasn't as strong as other people.  I just didn't have it in me and I knew it.  No shame in that.  But I was wrong.  Do you know how empowering it is to realize, after years of thinking it was impossible, that all those things you wanted for yourself, YOU HAVE THEM.  They've always been yours.  I wouldn't trade what I've experienced in that last year plus for anything.  It's like I was living, before, with a shadow of myself.  Always reaching, never attaining.  Having found my new, improved, empowered self, I refuse to let me go.  I was worth the pain.  I'd do it again a thousand times if I had to.  Except I don't have to and I don't want to.  Goodness, let's stop the pain!

So, thank you, 2015.  You were beautiful.

Rebuilding

I've rebuilt my life several times, but never with my kids.  It's weird to have them along for the journey.  The stakes are higher, it's hard to guide someone else, things can feel very overwhelming for everyone.  But at the same time, I'm grateful to have them with me.  They bring new light and understanding to everything that we do.

In the reality that is our current religious (or non-religious) situation, it's important for us to build a family space that accepts and nurtures us all.  This hasn't been taught to us in church and is a whole new building sort of process.  It's scary, exciting, wonderful.

As we all figure out where we each individually stand on topics like God/god, religion, rules, Jesus, etc., we laid out a ground work of family values.  It's a framework that's meant to guide and support our individual journeys while keeping us a cohesive unit.

And so I present:

Thacker Family Values

As we journey through life, we recognize the need to live by values that will guide us to be good, moral people.  These values include:

Hope
Love
Respect
Forgiveness
Peace
Compassion
Trustworthiness
Imagination
Wisdom
Joy
Truth
Courage

We know that we can support each other in living these values, regardless of our individual belief structures.

...

Moving forward.  One building block at a time.