August 31, 2000 – Sports Passes

August 31, 2000 – Sports Passes

Together with a group from the ward, we decided to wake up super early and go stand in line to go get All Sports Passes – a pass to get into BYU football games, and all other sorts of sports. They were something like $60 at the time. Rob and B were in the group. We stood in line for a long time, and before we got to the front of the line, Rob had to leave for class, so he gave his money to B to buy his pass for him. I remember striking up a conversation with B just so I could stand in line with him and get tickets next to him and Rob. It worked.

Okay, by this time in the story, you’re probably thinking I was pathetic. But I was determined to get into Rob’s life and get to know him. I knew what I wanted.

Rob: I would just like to add that at this point I was completely oblivious to any of her devious intentions.

written Spring 2006

August 29, 2000 – My Talk with Rob about Will

August 29, 2000 – My Talk with Rob about Will

Rob’s Journal cites this as our “talk about guys.” Well, that’s not quite the case. I had spent all summer with a guy named Will. Will isn’t a member of the church, but he’s cute and a raver and he was different than any other guy I was around. So we had a way fun non-romantic summer together. Not that I wouldn’t have minded it being romantic. I missed JH, Will was cute and fun, and we were spending all kinds of time together. I knew there was no long-term relationship with Will, but that’s not what that summer was about. But nothing happened between us anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

What did happen between Will and me, though, was that I became his counselor. I asked him questions about his life and analyzed things for him that he never really tried to understand, so I ended up walking through his life with him and he came to some answers he’d been looking for. He wasn’t happy and wanted to be. He knew HOW to be happy, but wasn’t making the steps to get there. By the end of the summer we were good friends, but I was a little worried about Will. He was lost and looking for direction, and I wanted to help.

So I called Rob. Seemed to me that Rob would be good at advice (and I wanted to be with him, so it was a good excuse). It surprised me, however, when I called and asked him how he was on advice. His reply was something like, “Am I good at advice? All I DO is give advice.” And while it’s true that one of Rob’s main roles in life is to give advice to his friends and family, it caught me off-guard a little. No matter, we were going to talk and go on a walk and that all sounded great to me.

So we talked about Will and what I should do to help him. I don’t remember what he told me. I do remember three things. One, we met Janine on our walk, a girl from my hometown. I remember saying hi and introducing Rob a little, though I wasn’t sure how to introduce someone I just met. He wasn’t my boyfriend or anything. Later she would tell me that she thought I didn’t like him from the vibe she was getting that night. The second thing I remember is that Rob had just got his spacers in for his braces (he was getting braces at 21?) to get rid of the gap between his two top front teeth. I hadn’t noticed the gap. He also told me he was balding and to prove the point he ripped hair out of the top of his head and in some insane/funny sounding voice said, “Is that normal?!” Again I was impressed with how he could laugh at himself. The third thing I remember taking away from that night is that I was more impressed with Rob the more time I was with him and I wanted to be with him more and more.

I gave Rob a hug that night. I remember thinking it wasn’t as warm a hug as it had been the Saturday before.

That Friday I wrote Rob a note to tell him thank you for the talk we had. It probably was written more as an excuse to see him again so I could deliver the note than anything else. I couldn’t keep my mind off of Rob.

written Spring 2006

Excerpt from Tamra's Journal

August 28, 2000
JOURNAL
School starts! Yea! I’m WAY PUMPED for the year. My classes are rad, my ward is pretty cool, I’m enjoying people and socializing and being a part of the school and activities and life and, … !!! Fun! Have I said that I LOVE my roommates? They have their quirks, of course, but they’re RAD! Great sense of humor. Wonderful people all round.
I miss JH and I wish he were around to talk to. He is my best friend and I don’t seem to replace those very quickly. There are people I talk to, still, but it doesn’t seem to be QUITE the same. Oh, but I know this is the Lord’s will for both of us right now and I am VERY glad, for many reasons, that he is absent from my life for the moment. But I do miss him. … Other boys here, of course, have an appeal. None of them are JH, but in some ways I’m very thankful for that. … There is one in particular I’m fond of, Rob. He’s in my ward and he’s a stud. I wonder what he thinks of me. … He’s very funny, a wonderful dancer, handsome, nice, polite, … and quite enjoyable just to talk to and be around. Hopefully this year we can become friends before he gets married off.
Anyway, things are rad and I’m so happy to be here! My soul rests at ease here. …
Yours, Tamra

August 28, 2000 – First Day of School and FHE with the Ward

August 28, 2000 – First Day of School and FHE with the Ward

The first day of school was great and already I was wondering what Rob’s schedule was. I had already hatched a plan to be a part of Rob’s life.

For the Ward FHE that night we met on temple grounds and then walked over to the park right down the street. I remember that was the first night seeing Bishop Freeze with the whistle around his neck. We were to receive our FHE “families” that night. Of course, I was hoping to be one of Rob’s FHE “sisters.” We walked over to the park, two girls to one guy. I think they lined us up in alphabetical order. Either that or I tried to put myself where I thought I needed to be to walk up with Rob. I think I missed by one or two people. Bummer.

Rob: I think another girl named Shanda had the same idea as Tamra, but Shanda actually ended up being one of my walking partners. Shanda had been a little more proactive (Tamra describes it as rudeness!) and was rearranging herself in line to be my partner. Of course I didn’t realize this until much later after analyzing the events of the semester over and over again. Shanda plays a role though it be somewhat small in this story. She will visit us again . . .

We got to the park and I found out that, bummer again, I was not to be in Rob’s FHE group. Oh well.

And there was Rob, sitting on a hill, surrounded by girls (as the guys in the ward always were, it was a 2:1 ratio of girls to guys). So I tried the only thing I could think of. I wore a random CTR ring that I don’t even know where came from. I thought the letters were German, but I didn’t know. Rob had told me that first night we met that he served his mission in Germany, so I asked from a few couples away (he was sitting above me on the hill) what CTR would be in German. It turns out I was right, that the letters were CTR in German, but that wasn’t why I asked that night.

written Spring 2006

August 27, 2000 - The First Ward Meeting, Fireside, and Ward Prayer

August 27, 2000 – The First Ward Meeting, Fireside, and Ward Prayer

I went to church the next day excited to see Rob, but I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want to appear desperate. So I scoped out the field of men in the ward and by the end of the day I wasn’t really impressed with the selection. And when I saw Rob, I tried to act super casual, as if he hadn’t made any real impression on me. Truly, I was already half in love with him.

Rob: Whatever, I have since learned that she was fully in love with me by this point. OK not really, but she was well on her way. I just wanted to share how I took her “casual” response. I walked in, saw Tamra, said, “Hi!” She was like, “Hi.” And that was it. She probably looked the other direction. There was no, “How are you this morning?” Nothing. I walked away from that encounter thinking, “Alrighty then. . . obviously the hug was too much and she now hates me.” I was ready to move on.

I think it was that Sunday that we all got our pictures taken for the ward directory. Rob and I happened to be in the room at the same time and I remember when he got his picture taken I was trying not to stare, but I thought he was super good-looking. Obviously, this thought had crossed my mind much earlier.

There was a Ward Fireside that night given by our bishop, Bishop Freeze. He was a great guy and very funny and warm. He stated that some of us had met our eternal companions that day. I thought to myself, “No, if anyone in this ward is my eternal companion, it’s Rob, and I met him yesterday.”

Then there was the first weekly Ward Prayer. I think I usually skipped mine the year before, but I was determined to be social this year, plus Rob was going to be there. So I went. I went around to a couple of groups after the prayer was said, trying to not seem like I bee-lined it for Rob. Again, I didn’t want to appear desperate. So I talked to a few people. Then I went and talked to Lorelie, who had been my room mate the year before and by chance ended up in my ward again (really, by chance. She didn’t want to live on campus again this year, so I was really surprised to not only see her in on-campus housing, but in my ward), and who also just so happened to be in the same group Rob was hanging with. We were having fun and talking and Rob for some reason started doing some of his impressions. When Rob gets going with his impressions, he goes off into his own little world and goes on much longer than you’d expect. I thought it was DANG funny and was genuinely surprised when the other people in the group lost interest. So here is us, in this group. Everyone else has stopped listening except me and I just think Rob is so funny, so I’m not paying attention to anyone but him, and he hasn’t seemed to notice that no one else but me really cares. It was funny.

written Spring 2006

August 26, 2000 – Meeting Rob

My Version of How Things Happened
the too-comprehensive story covering most of the dates on the calendars

written Spring 2006 by Tamra
with comments added by Rob (in blue)

When I came back to BYU my sophomore year I was sure I was going to marry JH, the guy I’d been dating for a year and a half. He was a good guy, but our relationship was not a good one. We treated each other horribly, but I kept thinking it’d get better. He left on his mission in June 2000 and I just knew when he came back, our slates would be clean and we’d be ready to be married and happy the rest of our lives. On August 24, 2000, I told LS, LH, and Laura’s mom, S, that I had promised JH I wouldn’t get married while he was gone. I wanted him to be at my wedding, one way or the other. I did NOT promise to wait for him, but I was pretty dang sure I wasn’t going to be married any time soon. And besides, who would I want to marry besides him?

But I had no intention of waiting around not dating for two years. I was going to date and if someone better came along, that would be that. I just didn’t anticipate meeting that someone better two days before school started again.

August 26, 2000 – Meeting Rob

Rob’s story is different than mine here, but mine is the right version.

The building I lived in my sophomore year was in the same ward with the building that JH had lived in our freshman year. No, I didn’t plan that. I wanted to move into a particular kind of apartment and there are not many of them, and I wanted the closest one to campus (why not?), so I chose Bowen Hall. It just so happened that my sophomore year, Broadbent Hall was an upperclassman male dorm, while it hadn’t been an upperclassman dorm the year before. So I determined on a Saturday evening that I was going to go to 29 Broadbent Hall to ask one of the guys there to play ping-pong with me. Well, I never got to #29, JH’s old apartment, because when I walked into the lobby, there were a bunch of people all sitting down watching the football game between BYU and Air Force. So I decided to be social and watch the game.

We got STOMPED that game, but I wasn’t there for the game anyway. I knew a few of the girls in the room from my ward the year before and by chance they were in my ward again. I didn’t know any of the guys there. About halfway through the game in walks these two guys. One was pretty cute and slight of build with blondish hair. He stood with a bigger guy behind a couch for a while. Then this guy came to sit down next to me for a few seconds. I was plopped next to the TV and Steve Young was giving a little spiel for a second and he wanted to hear what Steve was saying. I introduced myself, assuming he was in my ward, and he said his name was B, but he was an 18-year-old freshman living in Deseret Towers, but that his brother, Rob, the guy he had come in with, was in my ward.

So immediately B was out of my mind, even though he was cute. I didn’t need another pre-missionary to waste my time with. But I also wasn’t interested in Rob, either. He spent most of the game standing behind the couch, talking to almost no one and staring at me (Rob will say he wasn’t staring, but he was). While I found this flattering, I thought Rob was a little creepy. About this moment, when I tell the story now, I call him the creepy guy behind the couch.

Rob: Alright, I have to add a few things here. First, I was kneeling behind the couch, not lurking, because there wasn’t really space any where else. Second, I watched the game mostly and noticed that Tamra was cute and she was directly in my line of site to the television so it was easy to look at her and the television almost simultaneously. Third, I’m not creepy.

When the game ended, I announced that I had come over to play ping-pong and was wondering if there was anyone there who wanted to play with me. Every Heritage Halls basement has a ping-pong table in it and I had become quite good at ping-pong over a year of being at college. Well, who volunteered but Rob. I was not enthused by this. I asked if he knew how to play ping-pong. He said he did. I asked if he was any GOOD at ping-pong. He said he knew how to play. I was looking for some competition, not just someone I could beat with my eyes closed, but as he was my only offer of the night, I said okay and met him downstairs with the ping-pong paddles and balls.

Turned out that four guys, including Rob, showed up that night. I know Kurt showed up, along with his good friend (I’ve forgotten his name), as well as Dwayne (whom I affectionately referred to as Dwight, just cause). Rob was BY FAR the worst. In fact, I think he only scored points when he had me laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn’t see the ball (this isn’t an exaggeration; it’s true). The other three guys weren’t as bad as Rob, but I beat them all. After I had played them and trounced them, the night was over and I started walking back to my apartment. Secretly I hoped that Rob would ask me to go do something with him cause I thought he was very funny by this point and I loved that he could laugh at himself and make fun of himself. Well, as it turned out, Rob thought I was cute, so he asked me to the Wilkinson Center for a dance. It was pretty lame, how he asked. He was trying to be subtle about it and it didn’t work, and I didn’t mind.

Rob: Subtle? I was being a gentleman and walking her back to her apartment mostly because it was on my way to the Wilkinson Center. I had enjoyed her company and thought it would be nice to invite her to come along. Does that sound subtle or lame? I don’t think so. Anyway, it worked so I shouldn’t complain about how she took it.

We showed up at the dance where he was supposed to locate B but never did. Instead he runs into an old missionary companion and I had to laugh because they couldn’t remember each other’s first names and had a hard time using them after re-discovering them. He was talking to this guy for a song and then it was announced that this next song was the last of the evening. I informed Rob that if we were supposed to dance, this was our last chance. So we danced. Rob said, “I haven’t danced for 2 years, so I’m probably pretty rusty.” Rob swept me off my feet and I informed him that if this is how he dances when he’s rusty, then I would dance with him any time anywhere. He was good.

We stuck around for another little while looking for B and then started walking home. I think we walked around for a good hour just talking. I remember a few things about what we talked about. We talked about how it was crazy that people at BYU get married after the first date and things like that. Feeling the Spirit or not, that’s just insanity. I then thought in my head, “I don’t know why, but if you were to ask me to marry you right now, I’d marry you.” I could tell Rob was a good guy. I also remember freaking Rob out by my questions. Turns out Rob was living in 29 Broadbent Hall. What a weird coincidence! I had told JH I was going to go to 29 and find the guy that slept in the same bed he did and date him. So I started asking Rob which room he slept in. The last one (darn. JH was in the middle room). And which bed? At this point he looked at me like, “And WHY must you know this?” I smiled and told him that I was good friends with the guys in 29 last year. Four of them were from my hometown, H, CA: Jonathon, Jared, Mike, and Jacob. The other two, another Jonathan and Dave, I got to know fairly well also. Funny how coincidental it was that Rob was in the apartment.

I felt comforted by Rob. He was friendly, funny, and entirely open about his life. I am not so naturally open about my own life and family, so when he was pulling out personal story after personal story, I was impressed with how comfortable he must be with himself. At the end of our walk he gave me a hug. It was a warm hug, but I usually extend a hand to shake the first night I’m with a guy, and that’s what I did with him, so the hug surprised me. He just felt weird only shaking my hand and wanted to give me a hug. Really, I liked it, but it was weird for me a little.

Rob: I had noticed that it seemed uncomfortable for her, but I had never ended a date/evening with a young lady by giving her a handshake and I wasn’t going to start. After all, we had just spent several hours together playing ping pong, dancing, talking, laughing, and I felt that we were at least in the good acquaintance category and that deserved a hug.