I Love My Kids

End of school year update on the kids.

Miciah

Rob and I went to an awards ceremony for 7th grade.  It went for an hour and a half, starting at 7:30 am.  What the what?  I can only say that I'm glad that it wasn't all 3 grades.  Anyways.  A day before this awards shindig, Rob asked Miciah if she was going to win all the awards.  Without any cockiness in her voice, she said, "Probably."

And that's exactly what happened.  She won top academic honors in every single class.  They give out 1 award in each class, and she won every single one:

Advanced English

Advanced Social Studies

Social Studies

Advanced Math

Science 

Orchestra

I've been saying, "I will win all the awards."  And Miciah will say, "I didn't say it like that!"  Too funny.  She really is very humble and sweet.

And then she won a special award that's given to a 7th grade girl in orchestra.  It's given in honor of a young lady who passed away shortly after High School and who went to Miciah's middle school.  The candidate is supposed to be a well-rounded person who is good at her instrument as well as academics and is also a nice, kind, involved human being.  When the orchestra teacher informed us that Miciah would be receiving this award, I said, "Really, it's true.  Miciah is all of that.  She's an amazing human being."

It was fun to hear Miciah honored for all her hard work and achievements.  A few people congratulated us as parents, but we don't do any of it.  Miciah works really hard and is motivated on her own to do what she does.  We just provide the means and give her rides when she needs it.  Then we get out of her way.

...  After the ceremony was over, Miciah and her best friend, Rachel, walked around for a while and Rachel was truly excited for Miciah.  I felt grateful that Miciah has a friend who is so supportive and not jealous or mean.  I asked Rachel is people in their classes get upset that Miciah does so well.  She said, "No.  We all just know that she's going to win."

So, in conclusion:  Way to go, Miciah!  Keep on being awesome.

Elijah

This school year was much easier on and for Elijah than last year.  Actually, I think I could say that for every school year we've had to date.  Elijah is having an easier time figuring out himself, school, teachers, friends, and his place in all of it.

He got some very positive feedback this year from many of his teachers.  He was chosen as Student of the Week several times (it's a once a year thing per class, but several teachers chose him).  Elijah grooves on positive feedback, so he ate it up!  He also just in general seems to be getting the idea that if he follows the class room rules he'll get rewarded, and he likes those rewards.  And we're talking rules like Do your homework and Listen to the teacher.  That's hard stuff when you've already got it all figured out!

He also rocked out a piano piece that he composed himself and submitted to 2 separate competitions. The first competition was one where he had to not only play the piece but also commit it to paper.  It took quite a bit of work and time, but having it written out was well worth it.  The second competition was PTA Reflections, where he was probably one of like 3 kids who submitted a music composition.  Anyway, his piece won at the State level, and he got some awards and a congratulatory free lunch in Columbus for all his hard work. 

You can check out his piece on youtube.

He also worked really hard on a few pieces for the big piano recital that they do every year.  I'll post the links to those when they get uploaded by the teacher.  He didn't compose those ones.  :)  But he is working on another composition.  He works on them for hours at a time over months and months, getting them just how he wants them.  Hence why we love our digital piano with head phones.  I'm a much more supportive mother when I can say, "That sounds great, Elijah.  Now please use the headphones."

Teancom

Tank is a sweet kid who can't do poorly in class to save his life.  He is a People Pleaser and he can't handle it if he doesn't make things right.  (Seriously, I worry about this.  It's a great trait, but it can be a lot of pressure when you want the world to be happy and feel obligated to take care of that single-handedly.  I am not a people pleaser by any means, but I'm married to one.  There are some serious downsides, trust me.)  As a result, his performance at school is top notch.

He has a take home folder that he brings home every Monday.  Maybe I've said this before, but it warrants saying again anyway.  He brings home papers, homework, tests, the like, and we have to look them over and then sign his folder saying that we've seen everything.  Well, all on his own, he organized the folder into two sections:  Good Grades and Bad Grades.  What really kills me, though, is that Good Grades was ONLY 100%.  Everything else, even if it's 99%, is a Bad Grade.  When I found out that he was doing that, I talked with him and told him that everything he brings home is a good grade (because that's true.  There was never anything below 90%).  He finally stopped calling them bad grades, but I couldn't convince him to stop separating the papers out like that.  ...  Crazy.

He also worked really hard on piano and did an awesome job performing his pieces in front of a large crowd.  I'm proud of him cause I know it's particularly tough for him to do that.

This year he was also in Student Council and seemed to love that.  He told him he's going to try for it again next year.  He's a good fit for it because he's very well liked (did I mention that he's a People Pleaser?) and is kind and sweet to everyone.  

Oh!  I found out that the kids in his grade have been calling him Tinkerbell because he's so small.  I asked Tank if he liked that.  His response just killed me, and it's classic Tank:  "No, I don't like it.  I told them that if they really want to call me that, call me Tankerbell instead."  Love it!  I think it just says so much about Tank and who he is.

And now it's time for summer!  I'm loving my extra time with these 3 awesome kids.

Mormonism and Me, an Extended Separation

I announced on this blog back in, what, August 2014 that I was taking a break from the Mormon church.  I had intended, after some time, to put the pieces back together and "figure things out."  However, shortly after that break, I had a complete paradigm shift and my religious life was changed forever.  I think it has changed for the better, but I know not everyone agrees with me.  And that's okay.  We don't all have to agree to get along.  Right?!  ("Right," I answer myself, imaging a friendly, upbeat world.)

I have just a few things to say about this.  Nothing scathing.  Just a few honest, vulnerable things that I want to put out there.

1 - In early 2009 I started a second blog called Random Tamra.  I probably never said why, but the reason why is because of a Facebook post back in 2008.  I publicly declared in that post that I was pro-LGBT rights, and specifically pro-gay marriage.  I said in this post that I wasn't going to be afraid of saying that out loud.  That I believe the world is made up of people who deep down want to get along with each other and I don't want to be afraid anyway, so I'm saying what I believe.  And I got some pretty great FB responses to that, from religious and non-religious people alike.

I also got called into the Bishop's office for it.  It was a terrible experience, even though the meeting itself went well, and it messed with my religious life for about a year.  Before I'd been called in, Rob was called in and told to "talk to his wife" to try to bring me in line.  Rob said two things to the Stake guy delivering that message to him:  1 - Tamra wouldn't appreciate this meeting we're having right now.  She'd find it very insulting.  And 2 - YOU try bringing my wife in line.  Ha!

So I decided, fine, I guess my life DOES need to be segmented.  I guess I DO need to be a little afraid.  I guess we can't live and let live.  And I started a separate blog where I could write whatever I wanted.

For a while that was perfect.  That separation made me feel safe.

But those days are gone.  I refuse to even pretend there is a separation.  I either have something to say about a topic, or I don't.  I either want to say that thing publicly, or I don't.  At this point being called into the Bishop's office isn't a worry that I have.  What would he say to me anyway?  "Tamra, I already knew everything that just got reported to me..."  :)  And what would I say to him?  "Yep."

I will no longer be afraid.  THIS IS MY VOICE.

2 - My "break" from Mormonism is going to be extended indefinitely.  I have no intention of picking it back up in a practicing religion sort of way.  It wasn't making me happy when I was in the middle of it.  I've found peace and love without it in my head, and I'm happy to stand where I am.  And where is that exactly?  Nowhere in particular.  It's a floating sort of place with more grounding than it seems possible to explain.  I'm fond of singing part the popular song in reverse order, "I once was found, but now I'm lost."  :)

I like it out here.

3 - I'm done at BYU - dropping out yet again.  Even thinking about continuing with my on-line bachelor's degree while all this religious change has been going on inside me, even THINKING about that has been wearing me down.  So I'm done with it.  It's a little sad, but not really.  I'm happy to put it behind me.

4 - I am grateful to the people who have made this journey with me and haven't insisted that this be a simple, black and white issue.  It's been hard for everyone, including me.  It's harder when I get negative feedback that insists I'm a lousy person because I've had an experience that someone else hasn't had.

5 - I still intend to attend church on a somewhat regular (but not every week) basis.  I like to imagine a world where we love and accept others because that's what we want to do.  So that's my little claim:  That I can show up to a place where I belong, where I can love others and be loved.  That it doesn't matter what I do and don't believe.  That it doesn't matter if I am or am not fill-in-the-blank.  I can still belong here.  With the people I love.  That there is strength to be had in our differences.  That I can build you up and you can build me up, and that process doesn't have to center on what we do and don't believe.  That we can respect and love, and maybe someday understand each other, without focusing so much on rigid belief structures.

I'd like this place I envision to be in the Mormon church still.  My family has figured out how to exist in this space.  It's not easy sometimes.  But it's possible.  And it's my dream for Mormonism.  Someday that dream may have to end.  But as of today, I'm holding on to it!  It's a dream worth dreaming.


Love to you all!