The kids are away at Grandma's house this weekend. The house is so quiet! And clean. I dig it.
Yesterday my brother and his girlfriend came down for the weekend and we had an Adventure Day! We bought scrumptious food at Jungle Jim's for a picnic later in the day, then we went to the Butterfly show at Khron's Conservatory. It was beautiful, as always, but half of the fun is watching the kids' reactions to it all. We'll have to go back with them in tow. After that we drove over to a park by the river and ate all the delicious picnic food we'd recently purchased. We drove home the long way and looked at different houses in Cincinnati's West Side. It was all delightful!
I decided that what made the day so great was just how relaxing a day like that can be when there aren't kids involved! At Jungle Jim's we took our time and looked at silly things we didn't intend to purchase. We took driving routes that weren't the fastest, knowing that no one would be whining about how tired/bored they were, or how they needed to go pee RIGHT NOW. We bought expensive, delicious food for our picnic, knowing that everyone would appreciate it instead of whining that it was gross. No one poked someone in the eye or had to be yelled at or almost got lost in the park or or or. It was just fun!
And this is why people choose to not have children.
You guys know that I love my kids, but when some of my friends tell me that they don't want kids ever, my response is always, "That's okay." Kids are great, and they're a trip, but no kids is great, too.
Our weekend isn't over. We're going to a Reds game tonight (on a Sunday night - special circumstances that aren't worth explaining), probably our only game of the season, with my soccer buddies, and no one will whine about not being able to purchase cotton candy, and we won't have to listen to whiny tiredness when the game goes into extra innings, and if we do hear any of those things, they'll be coming from someone else's kids!
Though yesterday morning I was poking Rob and just generally trying to annoy him. He said, "You're being really annoying this morning." I said, "The kids aren't around. SOMEone has to annoy you!" He said, "No! They don't!" Ha.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friends!
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
No Offense Mom, But...
Elijah is a funny cat. The way he talks is sometimes different, but so so cute.
The other day Elijah used his serious tone to say, "No offense Mom, but do you think you're skinny?"
I wasn't sure how to respond to this. In normal English usage, the phrase "no offense" sets you up to hear some bad news. So was Elijah trying to tell me that I was actually fat, no matter what I thought? And then there's the "do YOU THINK you're skinny?" part. Was he trying to say that I obviously think I'm skinny but I'm clearly not, and he's here to set me straight?
I decided to ask him to rephrase. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you, like, do you think you're skinny?"
So he wasn't trying to be offensive, probably. Still, I was cautious and feeling somewhat defensive. "Umm, yes. I think I'm pretty skinny. I could be skinnier. I mean, I'm not fat. Right?"
Now Elijah's tone was brighter. "Yeah. I think it's pretty cool that you can be like that. You know..."
I knew what he meant. "Because a lot of people my age aren't?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah. I'm kind of a little person."
He was happy, it seemed, that he was able to give me this compliment. Which was cute. But I was just relieved that I wasn't being insulted. Ha!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
This One is a Must-Listen!
I love podcasts, and one of my all-time favorites (as I've mentioned before), is Radiolab. I learn a ton, it's fun to listen to, and I find myself referencing them ALL THE TIME. Seriously. The information I get from this show finds its way into my conversations probably about once a week.
This podcast is mostly stories about science or music, so I was surprised by the latest podcast entitled 60 Words which took on a political topic. To quote from their website:
This podcast is mostly stories about science or music, so I was surprised by the latest podcast entitled 60 Words which took on a political topic. To quote from their website:
"This hour we pull apart one sentence, written in the hours after September 11th, 2001, that has led to the longest war in U.S. history. We examine how just 60 words of legal language have blurred the line between war and peace.
In the hours after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, a lawyer sat down in front of a computer and started writing a legal justification for taking action against those responsible. The language that he drafted and that President George W. Bush signed into law - called the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) - has at its heart one single sentence, 60 words long. Over the last decade, those 60 words have become the legal foundation for the "war on terror."
A fascinating subject.
Of course I remember this time well. It was a somber moment for our nation, full of uncertainty, fear and anger. During the podcast, which explores how we went from a single sentence to a 12-year war, they state that "no one saw this coming" except this one member of Congress. I just smiled sadly. Because I saw this coming, too.
Right after the towers fell, I wrote in my journal a bunch. I said in the days following 9/11 that what I was most afraid of is that we would, as a country, be so upset by this event that we would declare a war that would potentially never end. I wasn't afraid that attacks like this would continue on my home soil. I wasn't mad at the people who did this to the point that I was ready to beat them up. I was sad. I preemptively mourned the loss of our country as a peaceful nation.
As time went on and wars were declared, Rob would say, "Yes, but this is related to 9/11. They will stop after this." As we became more and more involved in dubious military actions, Rob stopped making those comments, and I stopped being sad. This is now the world we live in.
Now, to be fair, I am a laissez faire - ist when it comes to foreign affairs. I wish we did not see ourselves as the world's watch dog / hero / do-good-er. I know there are reasons why we do, but I think that our self-imposed duty of "ridding the world of evil" is not healthy for us or the world. So it shouldn't be shocking that I don't approve of the military actions we have taken since 9/11, including those early actions that we saw as justified. Where is the love? Where is the forgiveness? When will our ego be soothed and our anger placated?
So the podcast was hard to listen to. At the powerful end of the piece, I was filled with emotion. As I pondered about it, I had an Ah ha! moment. This path we're on, it's a destructive one and we need to get off it. The only way to do that is to not want America's best interests over other countries' best interests. We need to truly see the people of the world as our brothers and sisters. And there it was in my head: D&C's expansion on Malachi 3:5-6, with the words "UTTERLY WASTED" jumping out at me.
D&C 2:1-3:
1 Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
2 And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.
3 If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.
I know that this scripture is normally applied to family history work, but what is the process of family history work if it's not the process of realizing that we are ALL brothers and sisters? We, as a world population, are so interconnected. We are one people. If you trace our lineage back and back and back, we all have the same ancestors - we are all related. DNA-wise, the differences between me and you and them are negligible. On top of that, we all come from the same Father and Mother. We truly are all brothers and sisters. The notion of political and religious boundaries blind us to the truth that we are all One.
And if we don't realize that we are all One people, that we need to respect and love ALL as our own, we will destroy each other. And the earth will be utterly wasted. Christ won't have to waste it for us. We'll have done it ourselves.
...
So go check out the podcast. It'll give you food for thought.
Of course I remember this time well. It was a somber moment for our nation, full of uncertainty, fear and anger. During the podcast, which explores how we went from a single sentence to a 12-year war, they state that "no one saw this coming" except this one member of Congress. I just smiled sadly. Because I saw this coming, too.
Right after the towers fell, I wrote in my journal a bunch. I said in the days following 9/11 that what I was most afraid of is that we would, as a country, be so upset by this event that we would declare a war that would potentially never end. I wasn't afraid that attacks like this would continue on my home soil. I wasn't mad at the people who did this to the point that I was ready to beat them up. I was sad. I preemptively mourned the loss of our country as a peaceful nation.
As time went on and wars were declared, Rob would say, "Yes, but this is related to 9/11. They will stop after this." As we became more and more involved in dubious military actions, Rob stopped making those comments, and I stopped being sad. This is now the world we live in.
Now, to be fair, I am a laissez faire - ist when it comes to foreign affairs. I wish we did not see ourselves as the world's watch dog / hero / do-good-er. I know there are reasons why we do, but I think that our self-imposed duty of "ridding the world of evil" is not healthy for us or the world. So it shouldn't be shocking that I don't approve of the military actions we have taken since 9/11, including those early actions that we saw as justified. Where is the love? Where is the forgiveness? When will our ego be soothed and our anger placated?
So the podcast was hard to listen to. At the powerful end of the piece, I was filled with emotion. As I pondered about it, I had an Ah ha! moment. This path we're on, it's a destructive one and we need to get off it. The only way to do that is to not want America's best interests over other countries' best interests. We need to truly see the people of the world as our brothers and sisters. And there it was in my head: D&C's expansion on Malachi 3:5-6, with the words "UTTERLY WASTED" jumping out at me.
D&C 2:1-3:
1 Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
2 And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.
3 If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.
I know that this scripture is normally applied to family history work, but what is the process of family history work if it's not the process of realizing that we are ALL brothers and sisters? We, as a world population, are so interconnected. We are one people. If you trace our lineage back and back and back, we all have the same ancestors - we are all related. DNA-wise, the differences between me and you and them are negligible. On top of that, we all come from the same Father and Mother. We truly are all brothers and sisters. The notion of political and religious boundaries blind us to the truth that we are all One.
And if we don't realize that we are all One people, that we need to respect and love ALL as our own, we will destroy each other. And the earth will be utterly wasted. Christ won't have to waste it for us. We'll have done it ourselves.
...
So go check out the podcast. It'll give you food for thought.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Doing Stuff We Like!
I know you're all waiting for pictures of our basement, but you know what happened? The basement got done, our stuff was moved around (and is still being moved around. It'll take months to get it all "back to normal," I swear), we felt settled in again, and I started loving the stillness. For instance, our living room currently has no pictures on the walls. Rob said one day, "Doesn't the living room look so empty?" My response was, "Yes! Don't touch it!" And that's pretty much how I feel about all of it. Yes, it's quiet and empty and boring. Don't touch it! I need to get stuff done and take pictures and finish painting and and and and ... Don't touch it! It can wait. I have apparently have needed some serious down time. I'm FINALLY feeling up to finishing up the loose ends of the project. So long as I don't have to do stuff every day. For hours. Long into the night.
We're finally back to doing stuff that we LIKE to do! This last weekend, instead of spending yet another weekend stuck in our basement and not interacting with our kids, we decided to go camping and hiking. Because that's just a little more awesome than re-arranging food on shelves.
We went back to Clifty Falls Indiana State Park, where Rob and I spent a weekend a few years back. We wanted to go in the Spring time because the waterfalls that make up half of the park title are really more like water trickles during the summer. And we're happy to announce that in late April, the falls were slightly better (for a comparison, here's the blog post with pictures from our first hike, late June 2012):
This is not the greatest picture of the main waterfall in the park, but I kinda love the shot. I like that Miciah and I are up in the top right. You really get a sense for the clifty and falls reasons for the park's name. Also, notice that the waterfall actually has falling water. You could hear the water from a distance. Neither of those things are true in the summer time.
We really do love hiking and camping (even though I get the sense sometimes that this makes me lower class). It's a great time to be together with less distractions AND enjoying nature. There were a ton of wild flowers in the forest this time of year, and it was lovely. Here's me and the kids on the trail:
Elijah wasn't happy that we insisted he follow the park rules and stay on the trail. My favorite line of the day was when Rob pointed to a "Stay on Designated Path" sign and said, "Elijah, I want you to read that sign and tell me what you think it means." Elijah thought we were trying to ruin his life by forcing him to not have fun. He hung in there long enough to get to the part of the trail where scrambling over rocks and doing your own thing are encouraged: the creek bed!
As he got to the top of every large boulder, he would pose for his Conqueror shot. Rob started telling him no before Elijah even asked. How many hero pictures does one person need in a day? My favorite one is the following "action" shot, of Elijah climbing back down:
He made up that pose and then held it for about 20 seconds so that Rob could get the shot exactly as Elijah wanted. Rob finally started telling him no on fake action shots, too.
We scrambled all around the creek bed and had a lot of fun doing so until the kids got tired and whiny. Exacerbating this issue was the fact that while Teancom was climbing on a log, about 6 inches off the ground, the log snapped and nearly gave him and me both a heart attack! Teancom was clearly in a little bit of shock, and I was temporarily alarmed until I fully assessed the situation and realized he was fine. We kept hiking, but as we went along, Teancom became more and more worked up about it all. I would have thought that it would have temporarily caused him some anxiety, but after a little time passed, he'd be mostly back to normal. But I underestimated the super powers of our Champion Worrier! After another 20 minutes or so had passed, Teancom was saying the phrase, "I'm going to die," about every 30 seconds.
I am happy to report that Teancom didn't, in fact, die. I'm sure you were wondering.
(Pretend I wrote a side note here about Teancom's anxiety issues. I think it's fascinating, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it all, and it's an important part of Teancom's life story, but I don't really want to go into excessive detail at this exact moment because this is a post about hiking!)
Once we were off the creek bed, Tank was fine. Elijah decided that he wanted to run as fast as he could back up the ravine. We said that was okay, but to wait for us at the top, where the trail forks. Rob and I walked rather slowly with two whiny children who couldn't be convinced that this was fun even though I said it was plenty of times. When we got to the top, Elijah was nowhere to be seen. Of course.
Rob took off walking fast to the car, where we figured Elijah would be waiting. But you never know, and it was probably a mile and a half until we would find out. Enough time to be worried. The first couple that passed by Rob told him that they'd indeed seen a little boy, about yea high, who had said, "They're back there. They're hiking too slow," and who had "a pretty good lead on ya." Knowing that Elijah hiked the right direction from the fork was a relief. It's a 4.5 mile trail (and who knows if he would have stayed on it!).
It was a good opportunity to tell Teancom about my philosophy about worrying, which is: Do as little of it as possible. I HATE feeling worried or anxious. I reject them as worthwhile feelings. So even though I was still a little concerned, and I found myself hiking faster than I thought (and leaving Teancom well behind me, shouting at me to slow down), it was a great way to help Teancom talk about the difference between feeling concerned and a little worried, and letting that anxiety ruin your life. He made the connection to the rocks and his "I'm going to die" episode himself. Smart kid.
No, Elijah didn't get yelled at too much when we finally caught up with him. Rob talked to him gently while Elijah rolled his eyes because of COURSE he knew the right way to go and why was Dad freaking out anyway. By the time I arrived at the car, I got to smile and leave it be. Perfect.
Bonus picture:
Teancom modeling his "pig nose." Made me laugh.
Oh! We decided in the end that the best time of year to see the "falls" at their highest water volume is probably during the snow melt. But I'd suggest Spring as an AWESOME time to go. Not a lot of bugs, perfect temperatures, wild flowers, new green, and enough water to at least make the falls cute.
We're finally back to doing stuff that we LIKE to do! This last weekend, instead of spending yet another weekend stuck in our basement and not interacting with our kids, we decided to go camping and hiking. Because that's just a little more awesome than re-arranging food on shelves.
We went back to Clifty Falls Indiana State Park, where Rob and I spent a weekend a few years back. We wanted to go in the Spring time because the waterfalls that make up half of the park title are really more like water trickles during the summer. And we're happy to announce that in late April, the falls were slightly better (for a comparison, here's the blog post with pictures from our first hike, late June 2012):
We really do love hiking and camping (even though I get the sense sometimes that this makes me lower class). It's a great time to be together with less distractions AND enjoying nature. There were a ton of wild flowers in the forest this time of year, and it was lovely. Here's me and the kids on the trail:
Elijah wasn't happy that we insisted he follow the park rules and stay on the trail. My favorite line of the day was when Rob pointed to a "Stay on Designated Path" sign and said, "Elijah, I want you to read that sign and tell me what you think it means." Elijah thought we were trying to ruin his life by forcing him to not have fun. He hung in there long enough to get to the part of the trail where scrambling over rocks and doing your own thing are encouraged: the creek bed!
He made up that pose and then held it for about 20 seconds so that Rob could get the shot exactly as Elijah wanted. Rob finally started telling him no on fake action shots, too.
We scrambled all around the creek bed and had a lot of fun doing so until the kids got tired and whiny. Exacerbating this issue was the fact that while Teancom was climbing on a log, about 6 inches off the ground, the log snapped and nearly gave him and me both a heart attack! Teancom was clearly in a little bit of shock, and I was temporarily alarmed until I fully assessed the situation and realized he was fine. We kept hiking, but as we went along, Teancom became more and more worked up about it all. I would have thought that it would have temporarily caused him some anxiety, but after a little time passed, he'd be mostly back to normal. But I underestimated the super powers of our Champion Worrier! After another 20 minutes or so had passed, Teancom was saying the phrase, "I'm going to die," about every 30 seconds.
I am happy to report that Teancom didn't, in fact, die. I'm sure you were wondering.
(Pretend I wrote a side note here about Teancom's anxiety issues. I think it's fascinating, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it all, and it's an important part of Teancom's life story, but I don't really want to go into excessive detail at this exact moment because this is a post about hiking!)
Once we were off the creek bed, Tank was fine. Elijah decided that he wanted to run as fast as he could back up the ravine. We said that was okay, but to wait for us at the top, where the trail forks. Rob and I walked rather slowly with two whiny children who couldn't be convinced that this was fun even though I said it was plenty of times. When we got to the top, Elijah was nowhere to be seen. Of course.
Rob took off walking fast to the car, where we figured Elijah would be waiting. But you never know, and it was probably a mile and a half until we would find out. Enough time to be worried. The first couple that passed by Rob told him that they'd indeed seen a little boy, about yea high, who had said, "They're back there. They're hiking too slow," and who had "a pretty good lead on ya." Knowing that Elijah hiked the right direction from the fork was a relief. It's a 4.5 mile trail (and who knows if he would have stayed on it!).
It was a good opportunity to tell Teancom about my philosophy about worrying, which is: Do as little of it as possible. I HATE feeling worried or anxious. I reject them as worthwhile feelings. So even though I was still a little concerned, and I found myself hiking faster than I thought (and leaving Teancom well behind me, shouting at me to slow down), it was a great way to help Teancom talk about the difference between feeling concerned and a little worried, and letting that anxiety ruin your life. He made the connection to the rocks and his "I'm going to die" episode himself. Smart kid.
No, Elijah didn't get yelled at too much when we finally caught up with him. Rob talked to him gently while Elijah rolled his eyes because of COURSE he knew the right way to go and why was Dad freaking out anyway. By the time I arrived at the car, I got to smile and leave it be. Perfect.
Bonus picture:
Teancom modeling his "pig nose." Made me laugh.
Oh! We decided in the end that the best time of year to see the "falls" at their highest water volume is probably during the snow melt. But I'd suggest Spring as an AWESOME time to go. Not a lot of bugs, perfect temperatures, wild flowers, new green, and enough water to at least make the falls cute.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
It's Spring Time!
Soon we will be planting stuff outside, because that's what we do! I'm so ready for that.
Here's the deal with the basement and pictures: Once things were painted, they haven't looked significantly different. Would you like your photos before or after all the trim was installed? Or the carpet? Or or or? So I've made a decision: I'll post pictures once things are done, and I'll do progressions of each area. Don't be sad, though, because things are pretty much done TODAY! They've laid all the flooring, etc., and all that's left is the bathroom shower door and random piddly stuff like window sills.
Here's the great part: Over the weekend we took all our belongings that were shoved into 2 rooms upstairs and rearranged them into their proper spaces. So now my living room and bedroom have been reclaimed, Rob's office finally exists, the storage room is taking shape, and the kids are sleeping in their bedrooms downstairs! It feels amazing.
I've started looking around my life like, "So. ... What's next?" Until I have a great answer for that, I'm enjoying the silence.
Here's the deal with the basement and pictures: Once things were painted, they haven't looked significantly different. Would you like your photos before or after all the trim was installed? Or the carpet? Or or or? So I've made a decision: I'll post pictures once things are done, and I'll do progressions of each area. Don't be sad, though, because things are pretty much done TODAY! They've laid all the flooring, etc., and all that's left is the bathroom shower door and random piddly stuff like window sills.
Here's the great part: Over the weekend we took all our belongings that were shoved into 2 rooms upstairs and rearranged them into their proper spaces. So now my living room and bedroom have been reclaimed, Rob's office finally exists, the storage room is taking shape, and the kids are sleeping in their bedrooms downstairs! It feels amazing.
I've started looking around my life like, "So. ... What's next?" Until I have a great answer for that, I'm enjoying the silence.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Basement Pictures, mid-March
Top of the stairs:
At the bottom of the stairs, looking towards the bedrooms:
Boys' bedroom:
From the boys' door, looking towards the stairs:
At the bottom of the stairs, looking towards the bedrooms:
Boys' bedroom:
From the boys' door, looking towards the stairs:
Past the Breaking Point
Life has been pretty stressful around here for the last several weeks, for the following reasons:
1 - My BYU class that I was finishing up had a deadline of April 5th. With all the home projecting going on, my class got put on the back burner. It was a huge relief when I turned in my last paper and saw that final grade. (As a side note: I turned in a brilliant final paper, but didn't bother doing proper citations. I turned in 100% work on the writing and figured the teach wouldn't dock me too badly for the crappy references. I was right! I got a 92% on it, which roughly correlates to my final grade in the class. I'm so proud of myself for accurately estimating my grade on the paper, and hence spending the perfect amount of time on it! An extra few hours of my time was totally worth 8%.)
2 - Taxes due. I'm self-employed, which is a whole different animal. Before deducting all my business expenses, we owed a substantial amount of money. The problem was that I didn't realize at the start of this that I needed to keep track of all those expenses! So I spent the last few weeks getting that all in order, including adding up 3,005 miles worth of mileage (luckily my invoices each have an address on them, and I have a crazy-detailed spreadsheet that I'm kinda OCD about). In the end, we paid the Feds $9. Score! (Also, happiness: Ohio has a new Small Business Owner deduction, and heck, I'm a small business owner, I'll take that deduction! The end result is that we only paid Ohio $12.) ... This also means that we've accurately estimated how much taxes to deduct throughout the year from Rob's paycheck. Which feels awesome.
3 - California trip. So, this one is a really long story. I'll give you the sum-up: We were planning to go to California for the entire summer, but things have changed and now we're not going. I'm not super sad about not going, in the end, but the transition from Excitement About a Trip to Acceptance of a Major Change was a hard one. I spent a week feeling like the world was spinning underneath me and I couldn't get my bearings. Now I feel pretty good about it, and I can even see how this could be a really good thing.
Note: Miciah will still be going. She reminded us in about 3 seconds flat that it was "her turn" to spend the summer with Grandma and Grandpa, since Elijah spent the summer with them last year. I had forgotten about that. She'll do Girls Camp out there with her cousin, and they're both really excited about that. Girls Camp is on this GORGEOUS mountain property, so they'll love it. Plus, they'll be together, and that's always the highlight of their year.
4 - Work. Freelance work is funny, because I can have weeks where I work just a handful of jobs, and then weeks where they need someone almost full-time. I'm free to say no, of course, but accepting more work is sometimes nice for a variety of reasons. So for about 3 weeks I worked almost full-time and it was rough. The paycheck will be nice, but it was stressful. ... I decided, through that experience, that full-time work wouldn't always feel that stressful - mostly it was the sudden difference that was so hard - but I still am not overly anxious to try it out on a regular basis.
5 - The Basement. My emotional decline linked to this seemingly never-ending project has been interesting to me. (I think things are interesting, as a general rule.) I was excited, then I was a little anxious plus excited, then all excitement faded and there was just the anxiety, and then, past that, there was hostility. A lot of hostility. Not towards any person, but towards the house. The dang house that is never finished, that takes over all my weekends and free time, that's cluttered and cramped because everything is shoved into a tiny space, that costs too much and gives too little, etc., etc. I just lost it. There were breakdowns, though not tears, as I struggled to cope with it all.
As a result of all this, my brain has only managed to deal with what was immediately necessary to think about. I have future plans that have needed some attention, but I just couldn't handle thinking about them. Heck, I could barely manage getting through the day without yelling, cussing, and/or beating myself in the head.
It occurs to me that most people are probably stronger than I am. :) I am okay with this.
Basement pictures to come! It's SO almost done, guys. I'm finally excited again because I'm starting to get my house back. WHAT WHAT?!!! It's amazing. And the space really does look great, now that I can look at it without wanting to punch people.
1 - My BYU class that I was finishing up had a deadline of April 5th. With all the home projecting going on, my class got put on the back burner. It was a huge relief when I turned in my last paper and saw that final grade. (As a side note: I turned in a brilliant final paper, but didn't bother doing proper citations. I turned in 100% work on the writing and figured the teach wouldn't dock me too badly for the crappy references. I was right! I got a 92% on it, which roughly correlates to my final grade in the class. I'm so proud of myself for accurately estimating my grade on the paper, and hence spending the perfect amount of time on it! An extra few hours of my time was totally worth 8%.)
2 - Taxes due. I'm self-employed, which is a whole different animal. Before deducting all my business expenses, we owed a substantial amount of money. The problem was that I didn't realize at the start of this that I needed to keep track of all those expenses! So I spent the last few weeks getting that all in order, including adding up 3,005 miles worth of mileage (luckily my invoices each have an address on them, and I have a crazy-detailed spreadsheet that I'm kinda OCD about). In the end, we paid the Feds $9. Score! (Also, happiness: Ohio has a new Small Business Owner deduction, and heck, I'm a small business owner, I'll take that deduction! The end result is that we only paid Ohio $12.) ... This also means that we've accurately estimated how much taxes to deduct throughout the year from Rob's paycheck. Which feels awesome.
3 - California trip. So, this one is a really long story. I'll give you the sum-up: We were planning to go to California for the entire summer, but things have changed and now we're not going. I'm not super sad about not going, in the end, but the transition from Excitement About a Trip to Acceptance of a Major Change was a hard one. I spent a week feeling like the world was spinning underneath me and I couldn't get my bearings. Now I feel pretty good about it, and I can even see how this could be a really good thing.
Note: Miciah will still be going. She reminded us in about 3 seconds flat that it was "her turn" to spend the summer with Grandma and Grandpa, since Elijah spent the summer with them last year. I had forgotten about that. She'll do Girls Camp out there with her cousin, and they're both really excited about that. Girls Camp is on this GORGEOUS mountain property, so they'll love it. Plus, they'll be together, and that's always the highlight of their year.
4 - Work. Freelance work is funny, because I can have weeks where I work just a handful of jobs, and then weeks where they need someone almost full-time. I'm free to say no, of course, but accepting more work is sometimes nice for a variety of reasons. So for about 3 weeks I worked almost full-time and it was rough. The paycheck will be nice, but it was stressful. ... I decided, through that experience, that full-time work wouldn't always feel that stressful - mostly it was the sudden difference that was so hard - but I still am not overly anxious to try it out on a regular basis.
5 - The Basement. My emotional decline linked to this seemingly never-ending project has been interesting to me. (I think things are interesting, as a general rule.) I was excited, then I was a little anxious plus excited, then all excitement faded and there was just the anxiety, and then, past that, there was hostility. A lot of hostility. Not towards any person, but towards the house. The dang house that is never finished, that takes over all my weekends and free time, that's cluttered and cramped because everything is shoved into a tiny space, that costs too much and gives too little, etc., etc. I just lost it. There were breakdowns, though not tears, as I struggled to cope with it all.
As a result of all this, my brain has only managed to deal with what was immediately necessary to think about. I have future plans that have needed some attention, but I just couldn't handle thinking about them. Heck, I could barely manage getting through the day without yelling, cussing, and/or beating myself in the head.
It occurs to me that most people are probably stronger than I am. :) I am okay with this.
Basement pictures to come! It's SO almost done, guys. I'm finally excited again because I'm starting to get my house back. WHAT WHAT?!!! It's amazing. And the space really does look great, now that I can look at it without wanting to punch people.
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