Stories of an Indecent Nature

Okay, not really indecent. I just have these great stories about Elijah. Here goes.

Elijah is in the obsessed with his penis stage. Seems like this is a long stage. ... Come to think of it, Rob always tells me, "But you have to admit, they are pretty cool," so maybe the stage never ends. (Sorry for embarrasing you, Rob.) Anyways.

Elijah gets impatient when going potty. He wants to stand but I decidedly do NOT want him to stand. He makes messes a lot. This is not my territory. I can not teach him how, I can not show him how, and since I DIDN'T teach him how, it is Rob's job: the teaching, the cleaning up after, the pep talks about how to do it right--all Rob's job. Anyways. He'll get impatient as he's climbing up on the potty. So he'll do this squating or perching as Rob calls it. This bothers Rob. Not me so much, since I prefer it to the standing in front of the toilet. So the other day Rob was in the bathroom watching Elijah perch to pee. He says, "Elijah, we don't perch to go pee." Elijah looks at him and says very matter-of-factly, " *I* do. " I started giggling. Yes, Elijah, yes, you do. So funny.

Elijah is hard to keep clothed from the waist down. If he has on one article of clothing on his lower half, I'm happy. Shorts, pants, or underwear. I'd prefer him to wear two articles--you know, underwear under his shorts or pants, but one will be fine. So we're sitting at the table and he's wearing just underwear on the bottom half. Which is fine. He's messing with his stuff down there (not gross-like, but still, at the dinner table?) and turns to me and says, "Mom, you have a pee pee (his word for penis)?" I start to answer his question, "No, I don't," and then I realize, WHY are we discussing this at the dinner table? So I add, "And this isn't really a discussion we need to be having at the dinner table." I call Rob in to discuss with Elijah why this isn't appropriate at the dinner table. Rob talks with him breifly. A few seconds later Elijah starts taking out his pee pee to show us all, saying, "You want to see my pee pee?" I'm not sure if this should be funny or disgusting. Sure, disgusting if he's 12. But he's 3. So it's mostly just funny. Rob tells him, "We don't show people our pee pee, Elijah." Elijah nods in agreement. "Yeah, we just touch it, right, Dad?" At this point I'm laughing. Like just touching his penis at the dinner table should be better than flashing it around. Too funny.

Oh, the joy of having boys. Just thought you all might enjoy that. Or maybe you didn't and you think it's just gross. In which case, God will bless you with male children and that will teach you. :)

Tamra