Mother's Day For Reals

This was a great weekend.  And I'm serious.  Someone who loves me very much cleaned my house, including all those annoying-and-or-tough-to-do jobs like cleaning the toilet; did all my dishes, repeatedly; spent time with my kids; did all the laundry, including ironing, and then bought a new iron because the old one broke (and they didn't even skimp on quality!  Our $9 iron is no more.  Hurray!); invited over my friends and had the kids help clean the house before the friends came; bought pizza so I didn't have to make dinner for those friends; let me read a book for a while; bought me my favorite cookies; and in general made me feel really great about myself and my life.

Yeah.  That person who loves me very much is me.  I did all those things.

But let me tell you why it was actually and truly a great thing.  I do all those things anyway, right?  I clean my house, do my dishes, take care of my kids, all that.  But usually it's for someone else.  I do those things for Rob.  I do those things for my kids.  ...  This weekend, I did all those things for me.  And it was nice to remember that having my house clean is something that I like very much.  I would do it for me even if Rob didn't care (and actually he doesn't really care), or even if I didn't need to set an example for my kids.  Because I like those things.  And because I like me.

Not that I don't need a break every now and then.  I do need a break.  And sooner than later.  I realized that Saturday night, after I was ... not well-behaved when I put my kids to bed.  I had also been angry earlier in the week about a well-intentioned e-mail from a good friend, and then I held onto that anger for most of the week.  Saturday night, without Rob around, I introspected.  And here's what I realized:

For months I've been saying "Rob is stressed."  "Rob is really busy right now."  "Rob is having a hard time with life."  And on Saturday night it hit me!  "Tamra is stressed."  "Tamra is overextended."  "Tamra is having a hard time with life."  ...  It was nice to admit and then to say it out loud.

On Sunday that good friend who wrote me the well-intentioned e-mail invited me and the kids over to enjoy Mother's Day with them.  Dinner was amazing, and spending time with them was equally amazing.  We also had a good laugh about me getting so mad about the e-mail.  It was nice to laugh about something so stupid.

And my kids are cute.  Miciah in particular lathered me with Mother's Day gifts.  My favorite is a memory book that she drew the pictures for and then said, "You get to write the words, Mom!"  The first picture is obviously of the cabins at Yellowstone.  The next picture is R&C's swimming pool.  And then the next page says, "Come up with the last picture for the book!  But it has to be a memory!"  Then she shows me where to draw the picture, and where to write the words.  And then you turn the page again and it says, "Great job!  I love you!  Happy Mother's Day!"  Super cute, right?

...  Rob comes home tonight.  He has promised me, many times, that he will come home and not be stressed.  When I tell people that, I start sounding a little desperate and crazy.  "He's going to come home AND NOT BE STRESSED!  Did you HEAR THAT?!  It's GOING TO HAPPEN!  It will HAPPEN!  Right?!"  And then they agree with me so I don't start crying.  ...  I told Rob on the phone last night that he better actually come home less stressed.  Because I'm done.  He said, "Tamra, I owe you a date."  I said, "What's a date?"  (Good wife response would have been:  "I would love that, Rob!"  But this is the real world, and I'm not actually a great wife.  So I started going on about how he had about 2 weeks to take me on a great date before I started disbelieving in dates, and then disbelieving in Rob altogether, and then started thinking about getting myself a new husband and a new life.  That's the kind of wife I am.  Go me.)

Did I tell you that he spent $1,500 in 4 days?!  ...    He's coming home tonight.  Did I tell you that?!  He's going to be less stressed.  He promised!

Hope your Mother's Day weekend was as wonderful as mine.