It's 2018 and I told myself that this year I'm going to stop being silent. I needed it for a while - I needed to stop putting my voice out there and hearing feedback that wasn't always helpful (and was often hurtful). This year I can start opening up again because I'm awesome and things are okay and I can move on.
So here I go: moving on.
Life has been a crazy roller coaster of emotions since I last wrote. We've been through a lot and it's required a LOT OF WORK - and professional counseling intervention - but things are headed in the upward direction, and that's perfection, if there is such a thing.
Current Projects
Haft
We bought this house - and we LOVE IT. It's cool, it's different. But it was pretty much neglected for 20 years, so there's a lot of tweaking to be done, especially outside. Right now we've done improvements that mostly look worse than they did before. It's gotta get worse before it gets better, I suppose. :) I'm at least sticking to that story to keep me going.
We're cutting down honeysuckle. Lots and lots of honeysuckle. We're reclaiming overgrown forest. We're paying for a landscape design for this house and we'll be working on that. We're setting up garden beds and grinding out old stumps and reseeding lawn and redirecting water and digging new ditches and updating drainage, and clearing out old fire pits, etc., etc., etc. It's never ending, seemingly, but fun!
Getting in Shape
I'm walking to Mordor. I love it. You should do it, too! Check it out.
Besides that, I'm working out harder and more often and I'm trying to get prepared so I don't die on a 2 week canoeing trip with Elijah's Boy Scout Troop in July. It's fun! I'm actually really liking it, even if I don't love every single step of the way.
My Kids
My kids are getting old, man!
Miciah is 16 and finishing up her sophomore year. She is awesome, awesome, awesome, and she keeps getting better with age. She's doing amazing things and I'm constantly in awe of what she accomplishes. She is in orchestra (though she's probably done with viola, at least for a while, if not for good), Scouts (Venturing), she volunteers at the library, does 2 book clubs, art club, and is best friends with the sweetest human being on the planet. Miciah is a good friend and a good person.
Elijah is 14 and is almost done with middle school. He's trying to nail down what he's really interested in keeping in his life and what he needs to drop so he can have time to do the things he really loves. It's a hard process. Right now he wants to continue doing soccer, Scouts, orchestra, show choir, piano (he's amazing at the piano), composing, and the engineering club. Guess how many of those one can reasonably manage. I'll give you a hint, it's not all of them.
Teancom is almost 12 and is finishing up his first year of middle school. He loves school, he has lots of friends, and he's just a content little guy. He is getting really into theater and acting and he's dropped things like sports so he can have the time to get more into drama. It's kinda nice to have him so narrowly focused (see previous paragraph), though he does spend a lot of time doing nothing. Kid likes his downtime. I don't have complaints about that. Also, I love my downtime, too, so I can't even be judgy about it. And don't worry, he still loves to be active outdoors, just not doing organized sports.
...
So there you go. I told myself I'd start writing more. Putting things down. And I won't use silence as a coping mechanism. I'll be more brave. Though I doubt I'll be more trusting - ha! - those days are gone. But I've found a happy place with where I am and where others are with me. I can again start extending positivity into the world instead of needing to keep it for myself so I don't drown.
Here's to a brighter, more open future.
Cheers.
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