Debt and Death

I geared myself up for it, for the "telling the kids that we will have to sacrifice because we're in debt" talk.  We put it off for weeks, even though we knew it needed to happen.  But we finally did it.  We sat them down and discussed how the rest of the year would look.  The trips we planned will still happen, but Christmas will be small (you can cry about that while you're sitting on the beach in Key West, kids).  They won't be paid for chores any more, and they should expect family outings to be free or really, really cheap.  And, in general, they should expect the next couple years to look roughly the same.

And all 3 kids were like, "Okay."  They were cheerful about it, even!  I thought, "I worried about this?"

They didn't get the concept of debt, though.  I tried the simple explanation.  "Elijah, imagine that I give you $5 and you say that later you'll pay me back.  Then, later, I ask for that $5 back.  That's like what we did."  Elijah's response?  "So, you owe someone $5."  I wish!  "No.  More than $5."  "How much?"  "More than $1,000."  "Oh, like a MILLION dollars?"  We laughed.  "Less than a million."

Rob got out some cards and we explained, in very very basic (and factually inaccurate) terms, our budget.  This many cards to our house payment.  This many to gas for the car.  This many to food.  And then, this many to repaying our debts.  Eventually, after we've given them enough cards, we'll be done paying our debt, and we'll get to keep that card!

I know they had some level of understanding, but I'm not sure how much.  Miciah more than Elijah, of course.  Elijah kept saying, "That's not nice that someone borrowed money and didn't pay it back."  Elijah, WE borrowed the money!

Miciah wanted to know WHY we borrowed money.  We told her because Rob went to school.  Because we had kids.  Because we had lives.  I think it may have been the first time that she recognized that things actually cost money.

I'm excited that we told them about our debt for a few reasons:
1 - They can apply their energy and creativity to helping us do things for less money.
2 - They know that we have this goal, and they'll help keep us focused.  It's hard to think, "I don't need to work hard to get out of debt" when Elijah says things like, "Oh, we can't buy that movie because Mom and Dad are in debt, right?"
3 - Hopefully this will teach them a valuable and long-lasting lesson:  Getting in debt sucks.  I don't regret that we got into debt, but I also don't think I understood what "monthly payments" really meant.  I knew that debt is slavery, but I didn't really KNOW.  Now I do, and I'm grateful we're working towards getting out of debt sooner than later.

So far, Elijah has been my little motivator.  He definitely gets the concept that we're in debt, so we can't buy things.  But he doesn't get that we CAN buy SOME things.

Elijah as Motivator Short Story #1:  I went to a buyback store.  I was purging some movies, and they were just going to go to Goodwill anyway, so I thought, "Might as well get a few dollars out of it."  Usually I don't do that, because we have been greatly blessed with generous family and friends.  But these were, for the most part, movies we'd purchased.  I pulled into the store's parking lot and Elijah said, "Mom, you can't buy something here!"  "Why not?"  "Because you're in DEBT!"  I assured him I wasn't buying anything, and then I went inside and got my $10.35.

Elijah as Motivator Short Story #2:  We take out cash for our expenses.  I had the money laying out and Elijah saw it and said, "Oh, is that for your death?"  "My what?"  "Your death."  "I don't understand."  Elijah sighed, like I was being very slow.  "You know!  You owe someone money?"  "Oh!  My DEBT."

Pretty much debt IS death, though, so he definitely gets the point.

Here's hoping we reach our goal of being debt-free* by 2013!
*not including the house