This is an exerpt from a letter I wrote to J after he had a hard experience at the MTC. They're good thoughts and tell quite a bit about me.
I've been told that perhaps I should try to write something insightful or brilliant about your MTC experience. I'm not sure that's in me. :) BUT, I can tell you that a lot of those feelings and thoughts you described, I know them exactly. You and I are a lot alike. Which is probably why we can drive each other crazy sometimes. :) ... All I want you to know is that, when I look back on my life, the times when I KNEW I was right and others wrong, ... I was the one who was wrong. I don't mean that my opinions have completely changed, though quite a few have. ... I spent a lot of time "testing" people. If they were offended or put off by me, that was THEIR choice. They reacted poorly and whose fault was that? Not mine. But over time I have come to realize that in large part, the problem was MINE. Sure, they reacted poorly. But if I hadn't acted poorly in the first place, they wouldn't have had the opportunity to REact poorly. And that's where I was wrong. The problem all along was mine.
My turnaround came when there was a man whose love and presence overcame me (this wasn't Rob). He had the Spirit with him, and I could not deny that. He would say comments I had disagreed with before, but the Spirit confirmed them and so it was me who changed. The man is an ultra conservative Mormon. Imagine that! I realized that even those who I felt could teach me nothing, could teach me a lot. So I started keeping a tally of sorts. I studied people. I found people who were truly happy (in at least one area) and tried to figure out why. And then, when I found enough patterns, I started doing the things the happy people did. Crazy enough I found 2 things out from this: 1 - a lot of happy patterns were simple Sunday School answers. Prayer, scripture study, ... 2 - when I did these things, I was happy, too.
So, moral of my story. When you think you're right and others wrong, that you have so much to teach and others so much to learn, usually, it's you who's wrong and you who has a lot to learn. (I'm using "you" here as a "you" anyone and everyone, not a "you" J.) When you open yourself, your brain and your heart, to the fact (I didn't say "idea." It's a FACT) that every single person you come in contact with has something to teach you (sometimes it's what not to do), if you choose to learn from them, you will be a better person.
I challenge you to do that. If you're already doing this, great. If not, start NOW. And I'll start renewing this also. I have done this in the past a lot, looking for SPECIFIC things, but have not recently. You and I can both be ready to learn a lot. That'll be good for us.
