Rob and Tamra Update

Boring, boring, boring!  But after the kid update, I got a request for a Rob and Tamra update, so here goes.

Short update:  We're stressed.

Longer update:

Rob

Rob still has his lab job at Children's Hospital, which he enjoys, and is enjoying more and more as time goes on.  He applied for a teaching job at the University of Cincinnati (UC), but he hasn't been contacted, so it's almost definitely a No.

The reason that job sounded so inviting is that it would have allowed Rob to stop working 3 and jobs at a time.  Rob is teaching an introductory-level Biology class, with lab, every Tuesday and Thursday night at Northern Kentucky University.  He LOVES it, but it's hard to be away from family so much.  Then, when he's home, he has to prep lectures (though not as much any more, since he's been teaching the same class for almost 2 years now), grade papers, etc.  At the same time, he's also teaching an on-line class for UC.  Sometimes he teaches 2 sections of it.

These extra jobs allow for several things.

1 - Paying off the grad school debt that we accumulated when we thought Rob would graduate and be working an industry job and raking in $90,000/year.  He's making about half that right now.  ...  Not that making less is a problem, because it's not.  But being in debt IS a problem.  We're still on track to be debt free (except the house) in 2013, give or take a year.  That will be the biggest raise we've ever had.  Right now between $700 and  $900/mo. is going towards debt re-payment.  That's like a second mortgage.

2- It's giving Rob teaching experience.  It turns out, though, that this is not helping him stand out from the rest of the job applicant pool.  We were told that it would.  Those people lied to us.  We're not bitter about that, it's just interesting.  What it means is that Rob is now more motivated to get some stellar research done.  He's working on a publication right now that's due on Tuesday.  That's a guaranteed publication, too, so slam dunk for Rob.  He has 2 others that he hopes to get out in 2012.

3- It pays for my school tuition.

Rob working for Edith, who is an angel in human form, is one of our greatest blessings.  I know I say that a lot, but I say it as much as I can.  You guys have no idea how much she has changed our family's life for the better.  Rob is just now figuring out that he's good at science, that he can be successful at it, and that he just might want to do this for the rest of his life.  Edith is an excellent mentor and boss, and I'm encouraging Rob to stay with her until something Amazing comes his way.  Who knows when that will be.

Tamra

School pretty much dominates my life right now.  This last week was my week off (Cincinnati State is currently on a 9-week term schedule, but that'll change in Fall 2012), so I've been savoring it.  Doing all those things that I haven't done in weeks.  Like folding the laundry while humming.  And doing a project with the kids.  And saying things like, "It'll all be alright," when Rob looks uber-stressed (instead of saying, "Yeah, me, too.").  It's been a much-needed break.

I volunteer at the kids' school 4 times a month, which doesn't seem like a lot, and it's probably not, but it's about all I can handle.  Otherwise, afternoons are my homework time.  Or my time to not do homework because I'm so stressed that I can't even think about it.  Rob makes dinner now, which helps me a ton, and I take care of the house except for that, and it works out pretty well.

The large upside to school is that I'm succeeding.  Cincinnati State is a community college, which means it's ... not to sound cocky ... below what I'm capable of doing.  I ace tests and papers with little effort.  I feel for the students who find it difficult.  ...  I say little effort, but I'm putting in quite a bit of effort.  School is a process I enjoy, and I very much dislike doing poorly on any assignment.  My lowest grade on anything so far was a 90% on a homework assignment, and I was mad at myself.  It's amazing how being 30 and feeling like I don't have time to waste changes my entire perspective.  It didn't bother me, dropping out of college when I was 21.  That's not an option this time.

I also have lots and lots of opportunities to sign.  About every other weekend I'm at some deaf event, signing away for hours.  I love it.  I've also been interpreting once or twice a month at church.  I was able to interpret for a deaf investigator meeting with the missionaries.  That was a new experience for me, and I helped more than I hurt, so that's good.  ...  I'm learning a lot and improving a lot. 

Our Family

School for me and 3 jobs for Rob means that our kids are getting the short end of the stick.  We re-connect as a family over the weekend, and it's sacred time for all of us.  The kids aren't involved in sports or any extra activities except for Miciah's piano on Wednesday nights.  That's all we can handle right now.  I feel kinda bad about that, but I know that the situation isn't forever.  And maybe it's good for them to know that sometimes we can't have everything we want, and that a family sacrifices together.  I dunno.

We don't hang out with friends much any more, which sounds sadder than it is.  Rob and I hardly find the time to hang out with each other, so hanging out with friends is almost a burden right now.  That sounds so friendly of me, right?  The situation isn't upsetting or depressing, it just is what it is.  Certain things have had to drop for our family to be successful.  That's not sad at all.  It's necessary.

What's been fascinating to me is seeing how much peace I've had through the whole process.  I hate stress.  Hate it.  I avoid it like ... like something that should be avoided at all costs.  Sure, some days I break down.  But mostly I'm steady.  I have the time to do what most needs to be done, and I don't mind doing it.  I need less down time than normal, and I feel like Heavenly Father is strengthening our family.  I get the sleep I need.  I get and give the hugs I need.  And I know that this is worth everything we're putting into it.

It's a good life.

Pictures of Rob and Tamra

Rob and I went to a Valentine's Dance at the church last night. Rob wore his tux and I wore my wedding dress which I revised with a ribbon. I love it. My friend did my hair and I was the belle of the ball, which has never happened to me before. It was kind of nice.

Tamra

Exerpt from a Personal Letter

This is an exerpt from a letter I wrote to J after he had a hard experience at the MTC. They're good thoughts and tell quite a bit about me.

I've been told that perhaps I should try to write something insightful or brilliant about your MTC experience. I'm not sure that's in me. :) BUT, I can tell you that a lot of those feelings and thoughts you described, I know them exactly. You and I are a lot alike. Which is probably why we can drive each other crazy sometimes. :) ... All I want you to know is that, when I look back on my life, the times when I KNEW I was right and others wrong, ... I was the one who was wrong. I don't mean that my opinions have completely changed, though quite a few have. ... I spent a lot of time "testing" people. If they were offended or put off by me, that was THEIR choice. They reacted poorly and whose fault was that? Not mine. But over time I have come to realize that in large part, the problem was MINE. Sure, they reacted poorly. But if I hadn't acted poorly in the first place, they wouldn't have had the opportunity to REact poorly. And that's where I was wrong. The problem all along was mine.

My turnaround came when there was a man whose love and presence overcame me (this wasn't Rob). He had the Spirit with him, and I could not deny that. He would say comments I had disagreed with before, but the Spirit confirmed them and so it was me who changed. The man is an ultra conservative Mormon. Imagine that! I realized that even those who I felt could teach me nothing, could teach me a lot. So I started keeping a tally of sorts. I studied people. I found people who were truly happy (in at least one area) and tried to figure out why. And then, when I found enough patterns, I started doing the things the happy people did. Crazy enough I found 2 things out from this: 1 - a lot of happy patterns were simple Sunday School answers. Prayer, scripture study, ... 2 - when I did these things, I was happy, too.

So, moral of my story. When you think you're right and others wrong, that you have so much to teach and others so much to learn, usually, it's you who's wrong and you who has a lot to learn. (I'm using "you" here as a "you" anyone and everyone, not a "you" J.) When you open yourself, your brain and your heart, to the fact (I didn't say "idea." It's a FACT) that every single person you come in contact with has something to teach you (sometimes it's what not to do), if you choose to learn from them, you will be a better person.

I challenge you to do that. If you're already doing this, great. If not, start NOW. And I'll start renewing this also. I have done this in the past a lot, looking for SPECIFIC things, but have not recently. You and I can both be ready to learn a lot. That'll be good for us.

Discovering the Water Park

Here are some cute pictures we took from time we spent today at a water park. Basically glorified sprinklers but Miciah loves it and it's almost free! Enjoy the pictures.

Things are going great and we're loving Cincinnati. We're near a whole heap of family, and we're finding friends at school and church. We're settled into our space and we're starting to get into a groove with life, which is nice to return to some sort of normalcy (whatever kind that is for us).

the Thackers

P.S. You can see how much Elijah loved the park. :) Every time we so much as got his feet wet he would scream.

Miciah turns 2!

Some pictures from Miciah's 2nd Birthday.

My two brothers, J and C. J was in Utah for a few months between HS and his mission. He happened to be in Utah for Miciah's birthday party.

C and J holding Miciah. This would probably be a better photo if J wasn't closing his eyes. :)

Miciah with her cake and ice cream. There's nothing quite like naked babies eating birthday cake. In the picture is also Grandma Thacker.

We sang Happy Birthday to Miciah and the whole time she was clinging to me because she was afraid of the fire on the candles. :) (Teancom just had his 2nd birthday party a few days ago and I told Miciah that when she was 2, she was afraid of the candles. She thought that was pretty silly.)

For Miciah's birthday Aunt B gave her a brown bag full of tomatos! Miciah loves tomatos, so she was thrilled with that gift. She spent most of the night with tomatos in her hand or her mouth, or both.

Our thanks to B & G for letting us use their digital camera for these pictures, as well as hosting the party! Lots of family came and they wouldn't have fit in our tiny apartment. In fact, most times when we wanted to invite family, we had the party at B & G's or at Grandma Thacker's house. Thank you.

Also of note: This was the birthday party where Aunt A gave Miciah the totally annoying Leap Frog airplane. It was a gag gift, and it was mean. We still have it, though it will often be in months-long time-outs (when I can no longer stand the thing). Now that we have a basement play room, though, it stays down there almost all the time, and that's okay with me. So long as I don't have to hear it.

(written 23 July 2008)