Mid October (an update)

picture of my hand. I was walking, holding the camera. I looked down and thought, "That looks kinda cool," so I took a picture. Not that there's anything great about it. But I like it (I'm not submitting it for a photo class, for heaven's sake!).

Well, since my last real update, I've written about other things that have happened, most notably Elijah's popcorn in the ear and Teancom being sick (fantastically on the same day!). I'll fill in the rest, even though there's not much else that's happened.

General Conference

On the first weekend in October, we joined Rob's family up North for General Conference. It was really nice to be together as a family, to be in the open middle-of-nowhere country air, and to hear from the leaders of our church. The kids loved seeing Grandma and Grandpa again and getting to see their cousins.

While we were there we went to Bert's candy store, which is a candy store you've never heard of and likely never to visit. It is also in middle-of-nowhere, Ohio, but it has some GOOD candy. They sell the world's best candy corn (seriously, it's won awards). This doesn't make the candy corn GOOD, per se. But if it was possible to have candy corn that tastes good, this would be it. (We told a friend about this candy corn and he said, "Yes. But is it so good you would eat it by the spoonful?")

We also picked up the world's best apple cider (which is the world's best AND delicious, unlike the candy corn mentioned above) at Tangeman's Orchard right near Chiara's house. We drank the first gallon in a week and saved 2 more in our freezer to have later in the year. I've decided that next year we'll buy 4 gallons so we can have 1 gallon every quarter of the year. It's SO good. Once you have it, you can't go back to the stuff they sell at the grocery store.

Miciah and the Beast

The next weekend we were supposed to go to an orchard place and pick out pumpkins and apples, but Miciah's behavior was so bad on Friday night that we bowed out of Saturday's activities. Instead we spent the day going over her behavior with her. We made lists of things that she does that will be punished in the future, ways she will receive that punishment (she gets to pick from a list of about 6 things), and what she can expect from us. Also we'll start paying her for a new job: going to bed well. And then we thoroughly defined what "going to bed well" means. We made a chart for both jobs: No Whining and Going to Bed Good. We've already been paying her for No Whining, but we haven't had a daily chart for a while. The girl seems to really jive on charts! And heck, if all it takes is a chart, we can do a chart until she's grown!

Miciah is a logical person. I thought she'd pitch a fit about these lists, since it's more than she's been expected to do in the past. But she just took everything in and nodded. ... By the end of our discussion (which was over a half hour long. Maybe an hour?) she was getting wiggly and I had to remember that she's just a 6-year-old. Sometimes it's hard to remember because she can be so adult.

Oh. The discussion started with us asking if things were going okay for her. Was she having trouble at school, etc.? She said that school had been hard because she's missed a few problems on her math tests. ... Over the course of the 4 tests she's taken, she's missed MAYBE 3 questions. ... So we had a talk with her about how people make mistakes. All of us do. All the time. And as we were talking to her, Rob thought out loud, "You know, I struggle with the same things." I had to laugh about that. Worrying about mistakes is NOT a problem I have. Rob worries a lot about other people's expectations and how he should do things better. I, on the other hand, ... While I would like to improve and be better, I have no crushing feeling that if I don't perform perfectly RIGHT NOW, I'm not a good person. I make mistakes, and honestly, I hope I always do! Mistakes make us human and that's comforting to me. Imperfect things are so much better than perfect things.

... The talk was productive. She was so much better behaved almost immediately! We're now on day 6 since that talk and things have calmed down around here. I'm sure in a few weeks we'll have to come up with something different, but for now, it's working.

Not that every day's been perfect. It's hard for her when she doesn't get to put that little check mark on her chart. :) ... Yesterday she was having a hard time and I've started being a little more sympathetic towards her. I'm trying to remember that she's still a very little person just trying to figure out her emotions. I pulled her aside and said, "Is everything okay? Did you have a hard day?" She said, "I just keep doing everything wrong!" I asked what she'd done wrong. She said, "I didn't stand up this morning when the bus was coming and so my bus driver forgot to pick me up." ... True enough, that's what happened. The bus driver, with me watching, just passed her by. Didn't even slow down. Rob had to take her to school. I made a casual comment after the bus went by that she should stand up in the future, and maybe then the bus driver would see her. It's a new bus driver (as of Monday), and Rob's car was still in the driveway, so there's still some getting used to the route, I'm sure. Anyways, I didn't even DREAM that she would take my comment to mean that the bus passing her by was her fault! I hugged her tight and told her it wasn't her fault.

Mommy Daughter Night

I already sent posted lots of pictures from that night. It was fun to be out, just me and her. It's harder for me to connect to Miciah than to my boys. The boys are very warm and cuddly and Miciah is fast-paced and logical, and in general Miciah can be my most trying child. She's not a BAD kid. She's a GREAT kid. Anyways, it was fun to have a night out just the two of us. Here's one of my favorite pictures from the night:

I thought it was hilarious that she'd put her pumpkin in a seat belt for the ride home!

Teancom Can't Do it Himself

Teancom is almost 2 1/2 years old and he STILL insists that I do everything for him. This amuses me somewhat, but drives me crazy! Why in the world does he still need help eating dinner? He doesn't. Why does he need me to carry him everywhere? Can't he walk? Apparently he can't walk and he has an eating handicap.

I have come up with a theory revolving around Teancom and Miciah. Miciah was independent from the day she was born, with opinions oozing out her ears (much like me--I'm sure you already realized that). From the minute she could walk she DEMANDED to walk. It was frustrating sometimes and it often made her very difficult. Teancom, on the other hand, is the exact opposite on both counts: ultra non-dependent and super easy. I think there's a correlation. Apparently he would not be so easy going, cute, and cuddly if he was also independent. ... So I'll take the non-independence. But come on! It's turning into him just being spoiled and that I can't do.

Take today. We went to the museum and he wanted me to carry him. I asked him repeatedly if he wanted to walk. He said, "No. Carry you." It warms my heart that he says "carry you" when he wants me to carry him. Anyways. I was unmoved by the cuteness when my arm started to fall off. I started to put him down. He did the monkey-cling routine. I pried him off me and went to set him on the ground. He moved his legs out from under him so he couldn't stand. Finally I got him on his feet and on the ground. He ran around in a circle, stomping his feet and crying, and plopped down on the ground, belly-down, to throw a fit. I just looked at him. I tried to coax him into walking. No go. Finally I said, "Look, you can walk! You are 2! So I'll see you later, Teancom," and I started walking on. Thankfully he came to his senses, got up, and ran after me. He walked the rest of the way--even down the escalator! Very brave of him.

So here's me on my quest to make Teancom a non-spoiled kid. I think my efforts will, on the whole, be ineffective, because he really is so stinkin' cute and he totally has me wrapped around his little finger! ... I used to worry about having a favorite child. Good parents don't do that, right? But now I look at people and say, "But he's your favorite, too, right?!!" And he is. He's just likable and cute.

And I brag about him shamelessly.

Tree Pictures

I saw the coolest tree the other week! It is the most impressive-looking fallen tree from Ike that I've seen yet. I don't know how I didn't see it until last week. I've passed it several times.

And the wide shot:

It's right across from Miciah's school. I took the boys with me and they stayed in the van, with the van running, while I got out to take these pictures (I would so NOT have tried this trick with Miciah in the car). ... And even better about the tree: It fell in a graveyard! Awesome. I wanted to walk up and get a closer picture of it, but I felt bad walking through a graveyard to do it. No, I wasn't afraid.

I also went to take a picture of another tree that I've thought of taking a picture of before, cause it intrigues me. They cut a huge chunk out of it so they could save their power lines. So it's got this one tiny limb on one side of it. Anyways, the whole one side of the tree is red with fall and the other limb is still green. I thought it was fun, but the picture didn't turn out like I hoped. Oh well. ... And then I saw another tree, obviously the same kind, that did the same kind of thing: the whole tree was green except one stripe of purple right down the middle! It must be that type of tree. Very fun.

Elijah

Elijah is a delight. He can be so sweet and soft that it amazes me. He often will ask if he can marry me and if I say yes (after hesitating, since I'm already married, and he's my son, and and and, ... I decided what did it matter if I said yes? But just for pretend, I told him) he steals a cute little kiss. Very cute and romantic. He warms me up when he's so soft like that.

He'll often come and tell me he loves me and he'll give me a hug and kiss. Which brings me to a kissing point. I don't know when it happened, but he went from "Kisses are yucky!" to "I want to give you a kiss." :) I like it. I get an Elijah kiss at least once a day, and (like any Mom) I eat it up.

For all his gentleness and softness, he's also expert at bugging his sister. It's funny when she comes home. He changes from the gentle, soft, quiet Elijah he's been all day, into monster, hyper, loud Elijah who bugs his sister relentlessly!

Rob

We are figuring out Rob's work and his calling for church still (will we ever have it "figured out"?). We're learning a lot along the way. I feel like we are stronger as a couple, as individuals, and as a family. We struggle still, and it can be HARD. ... But it's been worth it. I am amazed at the strength the Lord has given us. I feel like I rely a lot on my own strength, but when I let go and ask for my Heavenly Father's help, he always comes through, and I'm stronger than I was on my own. Sometimes I don't know how we ever made it before we needed Him so much! I feel like He blesses us and will continue to stand beside us, and I'm grateful for that.

Tamra

I am writing articles for Rob's sisters' company. They have a magazine type thing and I write articles about family and motherhood. Nothing expert-like, cause that's not my style. A lot of personal experiences. Silly little things that make up motherhood and family. It's fun. I feel like that's finally underway (after almost a year of it being almost underway). I still don't feel like a "writer" yet, but I get paid for what I write and submit, so I guess this is the start of my writing "career." Though this could be the start and the end, all at once. :) I love what I write about and perhaps more will come of it.

Butterflies

Yesterday Elijah was downstairs with me. I was folding clothes. He wanted to help me fold. What impressed me was that he came up to me, grabbed a shirt from the pile and said, "Mom, I want to help. Show me how." I smiled and showed him how to fold. I never realized before that folding clothes involves, basically, one principle: fold in half. So he'd fold things in half, then in half again, and carefully place them in his basket. He folded his whole basket and did so quite well, I thought, for a 4-year-old.

Then I was folding other things and he was walking around and roaring. We walked up behind me and bit my jacket! I was a little annoyed, but realized he had no malicious intent, so I turned around and asked him what he was doing. He said, "I'm a dragon!" I asked if he was a good or a bad dragon. He said he was a good dragon. I asked, "Then why did you bite my jacket?" "Cause I want to play!" I laughed. It was cute. I said, "Alright, what does the playful dragon want to do?" He thought for a minute and said, "Go outside!"

I thought that was a pretty good deal, since he'd probably let me read a book while I sat outside watching him play. So we went outside and I watched him as he demonstrated his new trick: swinging all by himself. He did that for a while and then came and sat down beside me. Suddenly, all super-excited, he said, "Look, Mom! It's a butterfly!" I looked and there it was, a cute little white butterfly fluttering around the swing set. I said, "Oh, yeah. A little white butterfly." He said, "That's cause it's a beautiful day, huh?" I smiled and said, "A beautiful day?" He further explained, "Yeah. When you see a butterfly, that means it's a beautiful day."

I hugged my little man and thought about how simple and beautiful the world is to him. I thought that it was indeed a beautiful day.

It's That Time Again!

Another update. Not that there's much to update, like usual. Just normal life happenings here, nothing momentous.

It's BEAUTIFUL here. It seems like it's almost skipped Spring and moved straight into Summer. And everything exploded into bloom all at once. It's been a spectacular Spring and I don't think I've ever been more moved by the Earth waking up. Probably partly because I feel like, in a lot of ways, I'm waking up myself. This has been a good year for us with a lot of good (little) things happening, and it's been a nice feeling. We won the Health and Fitness Challenge, so I feel like I have a new me--body and spirit. Rob is in the Bishopric and I'm a Primary teacher, so we have new church responsibilities. I'm writing articles for M and C, so I have a new job. I'm on an indoor soccer team now--a renewing of old loves. And we did a No Whining Chart for Miciah (more details to come), so I feel like a new Mom! Lots of newness going around.

And then Spring came. We had a late winter storm in mid-March, and it stayed colder off-and-on until early April. And then WHAM it was 70 and 80 degrees out and all the flowers, trees, and grass that hadn't been growing or blooming yet said, "Oh. That's right," and they all decided to bloom and grow, all at once. Like I said, it's been amazing. Spring isn't my favorite season, but if I could have kept that feeling all year, I wouldn't mind that at all. Euphoria.


The Immunology Conference and Rob's Knee

Rob enjoyed the Immunology Conference all right. He said it was warmer here than it was in San Diego, and that's just not right. He didn't get out of it as much as he would have liked, but I didn't feel that bad for him since he got to eat out every night on someone else's tab.

While he was in San Diego, he injured his knee. The bad knee. The one that's already had surgery. Nice. He's been wanting to go back into the doctor for some time about other little things like his hip being really tight, and his ankle that he sprained a few months ago, but that's still hurting him. With the knee injury I finally insisted he go in to the doctor that did his knee surgery. It's normal to have some knee pain kneeling, but for it to surface 3 years after surgery, and while just walking? Odd.

By the time he got into the doctor, his knee wasn't hurting as bad, but the doc still sent him to a physical therapist. The doc took some X-rays and said his knee still looks good, and his ACL is still tight. So no worries there. And the physical therapist has been very helpful. He gave Rob lots of stretches to do and it's already helped (he's only been doing them for 3 days). What they think this whole thing all boils down to (the knee, ankle, and hip problems) is the fact that Rob's been walking differently since he hurt his knee (that was 6 years ago!). He's changed his gait to compensate for the injury, and it's finally caught up with him (Rob took off his Sunday shoes that he's had for the same amount of time he's had his injury (we're buying him new ones with the new suit he needs and we'll buy come Friday--the shoes are trashed and the suit is now too big) and showed me the bottoms of them. The right shoe--the treads were almost gone in places. But you could still see all the treads on the left shoe). They're hoping with physical therapy and the stretches, they can bring everything back to normal and set it all right. ... It's kind of a bummer to pay all this money for X-rays and doctors and physical therapists, but we've been through a period where Rob didn't have a working knee, and it wasn't good. We're willing to pay the money to make it right again. It wouldn't be very fun for Rob to have to be in pain the rest of his life.

That's Rob's news.

Indoor Soccer

My news. I am on a co-ed indoor soccer team. We're not very good, but we have fun and that's what matters (which is the slogan for losers, I know). I've only played one game so far, but it surprised me what comes to me still and what I've lost. It was nice to pull out my cleats and put them on again. I made Rob address my shoes like they were my old friends. I feel like that's what they are. I was trying to figure out how long I've had them, and I know it was since mid-high school. That's over 10 years. They're my friends. I got an assist at our game. The other team was MUCH better than we were (they've obviously played before and together): most of the people on our team have never played before at all. But it was most fun to watch the game from the bench and see who got called fouls on for what. One of the girls on our team--sweet, soft Sarah--got called on a foul. The guy stole the ball from her and was a few feet past her when he tripped, and the ref called a foul. Not only did she not actually foul the guy, she is not capable of fouling anyone. I called out (softly but loud enough), "Make sure he ties his shoes next time!"

The most exciting thing of the night was about our goalie. One of the guys on the other team who kicked the ball HARD (I'd forgotten how much more powerful guys are than girls. Every time he shot the ball, I turned away. I have a bruise on my upper arm from where I stopped one of his shots (on accident)) shot a ball right into our keeper's eyeball. His glasses flew from his face and landed a few feet away. The ref stopped play and gave the shooter a dirty look. The guy apologized profously, said he did it on accident, and got off the field fast to appease the ref. Our goalie went off, too, cause he couldn't see through one eye. His glasses weren't broken, thankfully, but he had a HUGE shiner. Didn't bruise up too colorful, but it was swollen, and his eyeball was a cool color red. :) He said he was thankful he didn't get seriously injured. Yeah. Cause it's all fun and games till someone ...

More Soccer, Different Person

Miicah is playing soccer this season. We signed her up months ago. When we got the first call from her coach, he informed us that all the games are on Sundays. So that put us in a cruch. What do we do? Does she quit the league or do we just let her play the 7 games? Rob and I weren't willing to make her suffer for our mistake (we should have just found out more details at the beginning), so we let her stay on the team, though we told her she wouldn't be playing in this league in the fall. Rob and I feel like idiots. The games are all "after church". They are for people who go to church for an hour from 10 - 11. But our church is from 10 - 1 and the games are usually AT 1. So we even have to pick up and leave before church is over. Oh well.

After Miciah's first practice she came home and announced, "I am a genius at soccer!" That isn't true, but she has a lot of fun playing, and she's been playing for 3 weeks and I'm super impressed with how much she's improved in that time. Plus it's warm outside now, so she's been kicking the ball around outside for fun. I showed her a move and it was hard for her to do. She said, "Practice makes perfect" and then tried over and over until she could do it. Kids are amazing.

So far Miciah is one of the weaker players, but none of them are fantastic: they're all 6- and 7-year-olds. They're just out having a good time.

I have learned several things through Miciah's involvement in soccer:
1. I'm the same kind of soccer parent that my parents were. I never really wanted to be, but now that I'm there, it sounds a whole lot nicer than being any other way. I didn't sit where the parents are "supposed" to sit. The sun was in the wrong place to sit there. I stood behind the other team's parents. You could see the field better. ... And practices and games aren't social time for me.

2. I have a hard time stomaching parents and coaches who yell at the kids. Period. Did you know these kids are 6 and 7? What's your problem? Don't yell at them!!

3. It's harder than I thought to let my two little boys wander off to play on the cool dirt pile. :) Memories flooded back to me of big soccer fields with corn fields surrounding them, or a swamp, or woods, or random dirt piles. I let Elijah and Teancom walk over to the big dirt pile, one eye on the game, one on the pile. The whole time I knew they were fine, but it was harder than I thought to just let them play 100 yards away.

Miciah's team got slaughtered for one of the games, not because the other team was better, but because there was 1 girl on the other team that was a super star. I was half glad it wasn't my team, because the parents of the other girls felt the need to make their kids be as good as that one prodigy, and they yelled at their kids mercilessly. But it struck me while watching this little girl who was exceptional, "Am I looking at myself when I was little?" That sounds cocky, so I quickly abandoned the idea that I might be. But it was an interesting thought still. Here was this 7-year-old who already knew field positioning, who was running circles around the other girls. She scored maybe 7 goals all by herself. She could dribble. She could actually shoot. She was coordinated. ... I was amazed.

We have to find another league for Miciah in the Fall.

Thank You, Barbie Mariposa

And Barbie Mariposa. Miciah has been asking for Barbie Mariposa, the newest Barbie movie, since she saw the previews on Barbie as the Island Princess (her Christmas gift). I told her I'd think about it, but the problem is, there's no upcoming event to give it to her for. Her birthday isn't till October, and by then it'll be old news. I found it for a good price and so I bought it and then held on to it and waited for inspiration to strike. I decided we should have her earn it, but I wasn't sure what for. I thought maybe for reading a certain number of books, but she needs no encouragement along those lines. I thought for something to do with school, but again, what? So finally I just showed it to her. She was so excited. I told her that she needed to earn it and it came to me right then: A No Whining Chart. For 15 days she had to not whine. Every night she'd get a sticker and when the chart was full, she could have the movie.


It was a BLISSFUL 17 days. She missed 2 days and was in tears as she told me it was just too hard! But she made it and filled up the chart. By the end, I didn't even need to remind her to not whine. At first, it was "Miciah, that sounds like it might be whining," and she would quickly change her tone.

What amazed me most about this adventure wasn't that she could do it. What amazed me was how much I had been reacting to her whining. The whining drives me INSANE and I didn't realize until there wasn't any whining how much I was simply reacting to her yucky tone. I would reply not so nicely and she would feed off that and so on back and forth. By the end of those 17 days I was calmer, I wasn't yelling at my kids, and I was SO much happier with Miciah. It was easier for me to be patient with her, and for me to be able to see and love all her good points. Thank you, Barbie Mariposa. A few days after she had earned the movie she was back to whining and I sat down and talked with her about how much easier it is for me if she chooses not to whine. She said, "I did that chart so that I wouldn't whine for the REST OF MY LIFE?!!" It cracked me up. She's done really pretty well since, and it's been blissful for me.


Cotton Can Sport

Elijah is now a crack-up. The latest awesome thing he's come up with is Cotton Can Sport. No, you're not supposed to understand that. One night he just came up with this person: Cotton Can Sport. So far as I can tell, it's a combination of Cotton Candy and Sport. The person apparently brings lots of candy. I think he's also kind of super-hero-ish. He sits down and tells us lengthy meaningless stories about Cotton Can Sport. Usually Cotton Can Sport has a house. ...dramatic pause... And his own tools. ...dramatic pause with dramatic facial expressions... Rob and I have a hard time not laughing. It's pretty cute.

During that soccer game he loved playing on the huge dirt pile. He would go around to the backside of it where we could barely see him and sometimes he'd be out of sight for a few seconds. There came a point in time when I hadn't seen him for maybe a minute or two. I decided to send Rob over to check out where he was. Rob was turning to walk over there when the game behind us was stopped by the blow of the ref's whistle. And Rob says, "Elijah's in the middle of the field!" The ref stopped the game because our son was just strolling through their game. :) They ushered him to the sidelines and Rob went to claim him. It made me giggle that probably people were thinking, "What awful parents." Unless they were older parents, in which case they probably thought, "That's happened to us about 20 times."

Teancom

Teancom is now tan. It's Spring. It's just not right to have a kid that, like Rob, is instantly tan when Spring hits. People already have called him an Indian baby. :) That olive skin. Teancom adores being outside. He wakes up in the morning and wants to go outside as soon as possible. Then he takes a nap midday and wants to go out as soon as he wakes up. Sometimes I'll look outside to see what he's doing, and usually he's just standing there, enjoying the weather, the wind on his face, whatever. It's cute.

I'll send some pictures of Teancom at M's baptism. He loves dip. He walked up to M, who had a full plate of food, and started eating all the dip she had to go with her chips. Teancom loves to dip the chip (or carrot, whatever's available), suck off the dip, and then dip again. Gross. We finally got him his own plate of dip and had to take pictures of it.

I still gush Teancom about 80 times a day and he still lets me. Loving it.

High-Speed Internet

Oh! We did get high-speed internet, and that's big news for us. Sure, we're a few years behind the times, but better late than never. I've caught up on all the videos I was saving up to watch on youtube, and I've updated my facebook and myspace sites. I can actually check my gmail account now and logon to my bank page without it stalling and giving me errors.

And in light of the high-speed internet, it must be time for me to start a blog, since I've had several requests in the last month or two. My problem is that I'm lovin' the e-mail format. So I need feedback. To blog or not to blog? That is the question.

Love you all and hope you're enjoying your Spring as much as we are!!

Tamra and family

Dude, I was serious about anyone wanting baby guppies. Apparently guppies have babies like rabbits, and we have a fresh batch of 6. That's 4 that survived the first birthing, 4 that survived the second birthing, and 6 new ones. Too many guppies!

Here's a picture of Rob being goofy. So out of character for him.

And two of Teancom covered in dip. He was so cute with the dip. He had it all over him and was so excited to eat it (it was all he had for lunch, I think). Their Uncle Aaron who was there was teasing Teancom to make him give him some dip. Teancom finally looked at him like, "Well, if you REALLY want it, ..." and then started trying to put a chip in Aaron's mouth. Cute.