August 26, 2000 – Meeting Rob

My Version of How Things Happened
the too-comprehensive story covering most of the dates on the calendars

written Spring 2006 by Tamra
with comments added by Rob (in blue)

When I came back to BYU my sophomore year I was sure I was going to marry JH, the guy I’d been dating for a year and a half. He was a good guy, but our relationship was not a good one. We treated each other horribly, but I kept thinking it’d get better. He left on his mission in June 2000 and I just knew when he came back, our slates would be clean and we’d be ready to be married and happy the rest of our lives. On August 24, 2000, I told LS, LH, and Laura’s mom, S, that I had promised JH I wouldn’t get married while he was gone. I wanted him to be at my wedding, one way or the other. I did NOT promise to wait for him, but I was pretty dang sure I wasn’t going to be married any time soon. And besides, who would I want to marry besides him?

But I had no intention of waiting around not dating for two years. I was going to date and if someone better came along, that would be that. I just didn’t anticipate meeting that someone better two days before school started again.

August 26, 2000 – Meeting Rob

Rob’s story is different than mine here, but mine is the right version.

The building I lived in my sophomore year was in the same ward with the building that JH had lived in our freshman year. No, I didn’t plan that. I wanted to move into a particular kind of apartment and there are not many of them, and I wanted the closest one to campus (why not?), so I chose Bowen Hall. It just so happened that my sophomore year, Broadbent Hall was an upperclassman male dorm, while it hadn’t been an upperclassman dorm the year before. So I determined on a Saturday evening that I was going to go to 29 Broadbent Hall to ask one of the guys there to play ping-pong with me. Well, I never got to #29, JH’s old apartment, because when I walked into the lobby, there were a bunch of people all sitting down watching the football game between BYU and Air Force. So I decided to be social and watch the game.

We got STOMPED that game, but I wasn’t there for the game anyway. I knew a few of the girls in the room from my ward the year before and by chance they were in my ward again. I didn’t know any of the guys there. About halfway through the game in walks these two guys. One was pretty cute and slight of build with blondish hair. He stood with a bigger guy behind a couch for a while. Then this guy came to sit down next to me for a few seconds. I was plopped next to the TV and Steve Young was giving a little spiel for a second and he wanted to hear what Steve was saying. I introduced myself, assuming he was in my ward, and he said his name was B, but he was an 18-year-old freshman living in Deseret Towers, but that his brother, Rob, the guy he had come in with, was in my ward.

So immediately B was out of my mind, even though he was cute. I didn’t need another pre-missionary to waste my time with. But I also wasn’t interested in Rob, either. He spent most of the game standing behind the couch, talking to almost no one and staring at me (Rob will say he wasn’t staring, but he was). While I found this flattering, I thought Rob was a little creepy. About this moment, when I tell the story now, I call him the creepy guy behind the couch.

Rob: Alright, I have to add a few things here. First, I was kneeling behind the couch, not lurking, because there wasn’t really space any where else. Second, I watched the game mostly and noticed that Tamra was cute and she was directly in my line of site to the television so it was easy to look at her and the television almost simultaneously. Third, I’m not creepy.

When the game ended, I announced that I had come over to play ping-pong and was wondering if there was anyone there who wanted to play with me. Every Heritage Halls basement has a ping-pong table in it and I had become quite good at ping-pong over a year of being at college. Well, who volunteered but Rob. I was not enthused by this. I asked if he knew how to play ping-pong. He said he did. I asked if he was any GOOD at ping-pong. He said he knew how to play. I was looking for some competition, not just someone I could beat with my eyes closed, but as he was my only offer of the night, I said okay and met him downstairs with the ping-pong paddles and balls.

Turned out that four guys, including Rob, showed up that night. I know Kurt showed up, along with his good friend (I’ve forgotten his name), as well as Dwayne (whom I affectionately referred to as Dwight, just cause). Rob was BY FAR the worst. In fact, I think he only scored points when he had me laughing so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes and I couldn’t see the ball (this isn’t an exaggeration; it’s true). The other three guys weren’t as bad as Rob, but I beat them all. After I had played them and trounced them, the night was over and I started walking back to my apartment. Secretly I hoped that Rob would ask me to go do something with him cause I thought he was very funny by this point and I loved that he could laugh at himself and make fun of himself. Well, as it turned out, Rob thought I was cute, so he asked me to the Wilkinson Center for a dance. It was pretty lame, how he asked. He was trying to be subtle about it and it didn’t work, and I didn’t mind.

Rob: Subtle? I was being a gentleman and walking her back to her apartment mostly because it was on my way to the Wilkinson Center. I had enjoyed her company and thought it would be nice to invite her to come along. Does that sound subtle or lame? I don’t think so. Anyway, it worked so I shouldn’t complain about how she took it.

We showed up at the dance where he was supposed to locate B but never did. Instead he runs into an old missionary companion and I had to laugh because they couldn’t remember each other’s first names and had a hard time using them after re-discovering them. He was talking to this guy for a song and then it was announced that this next song was the last of the evening. I informed Rob that if we were supposed to dance, this was our last chance. So we danced. Rob said, “I haven’t danced for 2 years, so I’m probably pretty rusty.” Rob swept me off my feet and I informed him that if this is how he dances when he’s rusty, then I would dance with him any time anywhere. He was good.

We stuck around for another little while looking for B and then started walking home. I think we walked around for a good hour just talking. I remember a few things about what we talked about. We talked about how it was crazy that people at BYU get married after the first date and things like that. Feeling the Spirit or not, that’s just insanity. I then thought in my head, “I don’t know why, but if you were to ask me to marry you right now, I’d marry you.” I could tell Rob was a good guy. I also remember freaking Rob out by my questions. Turns out Rob was living in 29 Broadbent Hall. What a weird coincidence! I had told JH I was going to go to 29 and find the guy that slept in the same bed he did and date him. So I started asking Rob which room he slept in. The last one (darn. JH was in the middle room). And which bed? At this point he looked at me like, “And WHY must you know this?” I smiled and told him that I was good friends with the guys in 29 last year. Four of them were from my hometown, H, CA: Jonathon, Jared, Mike, and Jacob. The other two, another Jonathan and Dave, I got to know fairly well also. Funny how coincidental it was that Rob was in the apartment.

I felt comforted by Rob. He was friendly, funny, and entirely open about his life. I am not so naturally open about my own life and family, so when he was pulling out personal story after personal story, I was impressed with how comfortable he must be with himself. At the end of our walk he gave me a hug. It was a warm hug, but I usually extend a hand to shake the first night I’m with a guy, and that’s what I did with him, so the hug surprised me. He just felt weird only shaking my hand and wanted to give me a hug. Really, I liked it, but it was weird for me a little.

Rob: I had noticed that it seemed uncomfortable for her, but I had never ended a date/evening with a young lady by giving her a handshake and I wasn’t going to start. After all, we had just spent several hours together playing ping pong, dancing, talking, laughing, and I felt that we were at least in the good acquaintance category and that deserved a hug.