How We Met and Birthing Stories Tag

Here are the instructions:
Tell how you and your significant other met and if you have any children their birth stories,
post on your blog, then tag 3 other bloggers to do the same.

How We Met (the super short version):

Of course I have this well over-documented in other places, but for those of you who want the short version, here we go:

Rob and Tamra, October 2000

Rob was just off his mission and back at BYU. I was returning for my sophomore year. The very first night we met, some people from our ward were watching a BYU football game in the lobby of his building. He stared at me all night, which was flattering, but a little creepy. After the game I asked if anyone wanted to play ping-pong with me, and Rob said he would play. I wasn't impressed with Rob, but then we played ping-pong and he made me laugh so hard that I cried (thereby missing the ball and giving Rob his only point of the game). He was not intimidated by my skills (Wow. There are men who can lose at games and not sulk about it?!) and this was very cool to me. Afterwards we walked around and talked for an hour or two. I was already in love.

So I did what any girl would do: I stalked him. I positioned myself strategically in his life so that he couldn't avoid me. Eventually he fell in love with me, too. The best part of us getting together was that Rob could be himself around me, and I think Rob is hilarious. Rob needs a girl who thinks he's funny. He craves it. And so 6 weeks after we met we were engaged. 2 months after that we were married.

Miciah's Birth Story (Provo, UT), October 16th, 2001:

Miciah was born 10 months after Rob and I were married, and yes, it was on purpose. Miciah was ready to join our family (and take it over, as it turns out (for the better, of course)).

The birth story isn't very exciting, but here it is:

Miciah wouldn't cooperate with us at the 20-week ultrasound visit, so we weren't sure if she was a girl or boy. Plus, Miciah was a type of breech that you can't deliver vaginally. This isn't uncommon for 20 weeks, but still it was concerning to me. We went in for a second ultrasound at about 32 weeks, and she was still breech (inverse is the type she was, if I remember right). So our doctor sent us off to those doctors who turn babies the right way (I've heard mixed things about this procedure, and I was a little freaked out. Plus, they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything, and I was far enough along that EVERYTHING looked tasty, I was so hungry. I was tempted to chew on wood, metal, anything). The doctors discovered a septum in my uterus (a separation making my uterus heart-shaped instead of pear-shaped) and told me that if they tried to turn the baby, my uterus could burst and me and the baby could both die in minutes. Umm, let's skip that, please.

My uterus, as pictured after my C-section with Teancom. Yes, it's on top of my belly. The doctor kept saying, "Check this out. It's pretty cool," and interns were flocking to see the strange uterus. Umm, it's not cool. Could you just put the thing back into my body, please?

So we scheduled the C-section for October 16th, 2001, 8 in the morning. Meant we had to be there SO early. 5 or something. That's fine, though, since we couldn't sleep anyway. The drugs they gave me were awful and made me SO COLD and I wanted to puke. I was ready to marry the anaesthesiologist, though, cause he kept giving me that anti-puke drug. I still remember his name was Mike. Heavenly Mike. Miciah had the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, but no big deal, I guess. It didn't affect her at all. The doctor took Miciah out of my belly and the first thing they said was "She has a good set of lungs." Is that supposed to make me feel better? She was so LOUD. She still is. ... I listened intently for the APGAR scores, both of them were fantastic. Then Rob left with the baby and I stayed in the room while they cleaned me up. No one really seemed to care about me any more, and no more anti-puke drugs, so I puked up what was left in my tummy and felt very alone and very weak. Miciah, though, was a BEAUTIFUL baby.

Miciah on the day she was born

Rob, with the First Time Father Twinkle in his eye, holding Miciah

Elijah's Birth Story (Provo, UT), March 30th, 2004:

Elijah was born C-section, as well. This one was elective, since I chose to do another C instead of a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). VBAC's scare me to death. Too many stories of laboring for 30 hours to have to do another C-section anyway. No thanks.

This time I puked BEFORE the surgery (funny enough, I puked up the anti-puking drug they gave me to drink) and that made this one SO MUCH better than the first one. I was able to pay attention a little more to what was going on. Elijah was brought out of my belly and the first thing I thought was, "He's so QUIET!" Compared to Miciah, everything is quiet. He was also bright white. I said, "Oh. He's white like me." Miciah had been dark like Rob and I was happy to see Elijah was white. But he was too white, since babies are supposed to be pink! His APGAR scores were pretty good, though. 8 and 9, if I remember right (out of a 10-point scale). Rob left with the baby and this time he was gone for a very long time. He came back to my room finally and told me that Elijah needed to be put on oxygen and would need a blood transfusion. His hematocrit (sp?) was really low. Yikes! I hadn't even HELD him! So they wheeled Elijah into my room right before they took him to the NICU, and I got to hold him for a minute or two. He looked fine to me. Still, they took him off.

Elijah, looking pasty white on the day he was born, before the infusion and all the wires and tubes.

He STILL looks this white. He is my son, after all.

It was good incentive for me to get out of my bed and into a wheelchair so I could go see him that night. With Miciah they gave me too much drug, so I couldn't walk until the next day. I couldn't even wiggle my TOES for hours and hours. With Elijah, though, I could wiggle my toes throughout the surgery (and yes, I tried over and over, just to be sure). So I took a dose of drugs and then willed myself into a wheelchair. It was hard, but I tried to make it look easy so that I could go see my son.

Rob and his grandfather gave Elijah a blessing and we got reassurance that Elijah would be okay. It was really really weird seeing Elijah in the NICU. Other babies in there were really sick and so small. Lots of premies. Elijah was HUGE compared to all of them.

Rob, Tamra, and Elijah in the NICU. I am doped up. Rob is exhausted.

And Elijah has a little more color (notice he's pink-ish instead of pasty white).

I, however, look pasty white in this picture.

By the next morning, they'd moved him into the less intensive care NICU. Then the nurses couldn't agree on if he was doing fine or not. They had a feeding tube down him and then complained that he wasn't breastfeeding well enough. Hello! Sometimes I wonder about medical professionals. Then they'd bring up new, not-so-good news to me when Rob wasn't around and I'd break down as the overly emotional new mother who was so worn out I couldn't take care of myself! Finally, though, they let us all go home together. The one combative nurse said, "He's proven himself." Whatever. I think he was healthy enough all along and he would have been fine without all the messing with him.

A week later I took him into the doctor for a check-up and also to get him circumcised (a traumatizing experience, actually, and they did a bad job, but anyway), since they forgot at the hospital and I wasn't giving them one more reason to keep him there! The nurse looked at me and said, "Oh, is this the baby that was sick?" "No," I said; Elijah wasn't sick at all. She seemed a little surprised by that. "Wasn't he the one in the NICU?" That's right. "Oh! Yeah, he was. But he wasn't sick." The nurse said, "Oh. What was wrong with him, then?" I shook my head. No one knew then and no one knows now. We have received absolutely NO answers for what really was "wrong" with Elijah.

Teancom's Birth Story (Cincinnati, OH), July 21st, 2006:

Teancom was the only one of our three children not planned. We found out we were expecting and I almost cried right there. I do NOT do well pregnant. The prospect of being depressed and out of it for another 18 months just didn't appeal to me. I started making deals with God right then and there. First off, I couldn't do another NICU baby (Elijah). Second off, I couldn't do another colicky baby (Miciah). Emotionally, I just couldn't do it. Third off (can you say third off?), I just couldn't do a fussy baby. I needed this baby to be a gem (or at least be not horrible) until he/she was 2 years old, and then all bets were off. I figured this was all kosher to ask of God, since apparently it was HIS plan for us to have a baby this time, whereas the first one was Miciah's plan, and the second one--Elijah--was my plan. This was God's plan and I needed Him to know what exactly needed to be part of that plan.

About 30 weeks into the pregnancy I asked for drugs to deal with my Post-Partum Depression. Who knew it can start Pre-Partum. The drugs made me a person again and Miciah stopped flinching every time I moved. I never hit the girl, but I saw fear in her eyes, like she truly believed I would. I truly believed one of these times I would, too. Hence the drugs. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing drugs. I could look myself in the mirror again. Seriously, I hadn't even noticed that I'd stopped looking in the mirror. I just didn't recognize my eyes as a crazy person. This would all be funny if it didn't happen to me, I think. But no. It wasn't funny. Moral of this story: If you need drugs, TAKE THEM! Wonderful things.

As for his birth story. July 21st was the date the doctor chose, which was neat, since it's a significant family date (my grandfather and sister were both born on this day). ... It was a very uneventful C-section. The baby got to stay with us (I told my doctor that they took the baby away at the other hospital I'd gone to, and he called that "inhumane"), and Rob and Teancom never had to leave my side. In fact, I asked Rob this time to NOT leave my side. I was tired of feeling like chopped meat while the doctors stitched me up and everyone else left. Rob stayed right by me, holding my hand, and taking pictures of Teancom from across the room. It was beautiful. No NICU. No trauma. No loud baby. Perfect APGAR scores. My milk came in faster. He latched on just fine. And he was a beautiful, well-behaved baby. He is still a beautiful, well-behaved 2-year-old (remember, all bets are off now, and he's STILL a gem). I really lucked out. Either that, or God heard my desperate pleas. I tend to think it was a little of both. I like to say that I asked God to give me only what I could handle and that God figured I couldn't handle very much at all. Hey, whatever it takes to get a Teancom Baby, right? I pray for everyone to have a Teancom Baby (and I seriously do pray that. He's an amazing kid).

Teancom on the day he was born

Rob, Miciah and Elijah with newborn Teancom

The End

I'm not tagging anyone by name. If you want to do this, then cool. If not, don't bother.

October 19, 20, and 21, 2000 – Homecoming Weekend

October 19, 20, and 21, 2000 – Homecoming Weekend

Rob performed with the Men’s Chorus for the Homecoming Spectacular on Thursday and Friday. I went to see him one of those days. I don’t remember much about it, and what I think I remember could be a combination of about 3 years of going to the Spectacular. I might have gone with Lorelie; I might have done that the year before. Rob might have joined me for the last half of the show; that might have been one of the years after. I don’t remember. But I’m sure, either way, that I walked home with Rob that night.

Rob had been really wanting to go to Homecoming. I’m not sure why, he just likes Homecoming. So we went with B and his date (I don’t remember her name) and Rob’s old companion from his mission, Jeff W, and his fiancé sort of. I have blocked out their names as a means of self-preservation. I was not a fan of him. First, he was goofy looking. Second, he was engaged to this girl, but not really. He hadn’t officially proposed, but they both knew he was going to eventually. So she was his fiancé but not quite. This caused me to dislike him a lot and feel sorry for her for taking it. Obviously this was not the kind of guy that I would marry.

Anyways, the night started with all 6 of us at my apartment. Rob made dinner for us. Maybe all the guys did, I don’t remember. But I do remember that Rob tried to make us the closest version of quark that he could come up with, without having quark on-hand. I was not impressed with it. Nor with the description: “Like yogurt but thicker and it coats the inside of your mouth and teeth. You have to add a lot of sugar to it to make it good.” Well, why not just eat yogurt then? It wasn’t bad, though, and the meal was pleasant.

Rob seemed to really like my dress. I wore the army green dress with embroidered flowers all down the front. It’s very pretty but not actually my size, so I wear it with a string for a belt. It was also one of the first times that Rob had seen me all decked out in make-up, too. It was nice to see that Rob was enchanted with me. When I don’t dress up often, it’s nice to see it rewarded so nicely.

The dance we went to was in Spanish Fork, I think. We got to ride on a horse-drawn “carriage” as it was advertised. Really, it was a horse pulling a big wagon (like the kind that you put hay on for hayrides) and they went around a block or two.

Rob: They did only go around a block or two but it was not a hay ride. Girls were in formals so it was better than a hay ride wagon. It was a small carriage. I thought it was kind of fun.

It was lame and we waited in line way too long for something so lame. But it was fun to be at the dance with my fiancé and watch him burn up the dance floor. Rob is good. B was a little jealous, I think, of Rob stealing the show. It’s not that Rob means to do it, his personality just tends to take over things. I enjoyed all Rob’s spunky craziness. And I loved wearing my ring, which we had finally gotten back from the jewelers that day.

written Spring 2006

October 16, 2000 – Purchased the Rings

October 16, 2000 – Purchased the Rings

Homecoming was the coming-up weekend and Rob and I were going. So the weekend was out for picking out rings. So we went to the mall on a Monday to get our wedding rings. My proposal had been so spur-of-the-moment that I didn’t have rings to present to Rob. Besides, can a girl pick out her own wedding ring to put on her finger? I wanted Rob to be with me as we made this decision. Because it was OUR decision and that’s how it should be (not my decision and not his, but ours).

After going to just about every jewelry store in the mall and realizing that most rings look the same, I finally figured out what I wanted. I didn’t want to have to go into debt for these rings. I’m sure Rob would have been okay with doing that, but I was not. Why start our marriage in debt over a piece of jewelry? And I also had never wanted a diamond. How cliché. So we decided on matching bands and found two that weren’t the same but close and they were beautiful. The ring I really wanted for me was the gold with the platinum one and to give Rob the three colors of gold one. The platinum ring was bold! But as it turns out, the tri-gold ring looked better on me and the bold look was great for Rob. The tri-gold ring on Rob made him look too femmy.

The only problem with my ring was that it was a man’s band. Size 10. Rob’s was almost perfectly sized, but mine needed some major adjusting. We were sent to a jeweler who makes his own jewelry. My ring was flat and I wanted it to stay flat because I liked the look of it and it matched Rob’s. But for him to size it down to a 7, he’d have to either take out one or two sections of the gold pieces and throw the pattern off or squeeze it down and round it. We decided to round it. Slightly disappointing for me, but again, the ring was just a ring.

The bummer about the whole re-sizing thing was that I didn’t have a ring for a week! No one believed me that I was engaged. I had been telling my friends for so long that I wanted to marry Rob that when I came to class and told them I was engaged to him, they just said, “Yeah, right.” No, really! Where’s your ring? I needed the ring. And there was the debate: Should Rob wear his ring? I wanted him to. If it’s just a symbol, wasn’t Rob now just as “taken” as he would be after we had the wedding day? And should I wear my ring? I wanted to. But we had a few people tell us that since it was a wedding band and not an engagement ring I shouldn’t wear it until the wedding day. I thought that was ridiculous. So we compromised. I wore my ring (when I got it back re-sized), and occasionally Rob would wear his ring, just because I asked.

written Spring 2006

October 15, 2000 – We’re Engaged!

October 15, 2000 – We’re Engaged!

Sunday was a long day. I remember in church talking to one of Rob’s FHE sisters, I don’t remember her name. But she asked if Rob and I were going to get married. I told her it was definitely headed that way. She was excited for me, though not as excited as I was for me!

Sunday night Rob was at my apartment just hanging out. He decided he wanted to leave early so that he could get to bed earlier than we’d been getting to bed. I think it was around 10:30 p.m. when he started to walk out of the apartment. I practically begged him to stay. Our usual routine was to be in my apartment until curfew (10 on weekdays and 11 on weeknights, if I remember right) and then out in the hallway until the building curfew (11 on weeknights and midnight on weekends). So we moved out into the hallway. I objected the whole time and he was telling me about how tired he was and that he had to work insanely early (he had to wake up at like 4:00 a.m.). He’d been falling asleep in his classes and not been performing up to par. He needed sleep. I told him I didn’t want him to go. By this time we were in the laundry room in the basement of Bowen Hall. He said, “You know I need to go.” I said, “I don’t want you to leave.” He said maybe someday he wouldn’t have to leave. I told him, “I don’t mean tonight. I don’t want you to go ever.” He kind of half-smiled and said, “Tamra T------, are you proposing to me?” I grabbed him by the collar and shook him a little as I almost shouted, “Yes. I want to marry you!”

Very romantic, huh? There were bras hanging up in the laundry room, something we still joke about. And my method of asking wasn’t exactly suave. But I knew what I wanted and so I asked my question.

Rob then closed his eyes while we were standing there. I said, “I’ve never proposed to anyone before. Is this a good sign?” He said, “Shh. I’m praying.” Oh. Oops. I was super nervous. I almost wanted to say, “No! Don’t pray! Just say yes!” But I didn’t. I knew I wanted this to be right, even if that meant losing Rob. I think it was the longest prayer he’s ever said, or at least it seemed that way to me. Finally he opened his eyes and said, “I’ll marry you if you’ll marry me.”

I was so happy! And then, after this moment of elation, suddenly reality set in. When? Where? What details? My goodness. It was a little bit of a let down to have to think about reality after riding in the clouds. But of course reality has to be taken care of. We didn’t decide much that night.

I went back into my apartment and said, “I’m engaged!” They were all so happy for me and immediately got down a calendar and told me which times would work for them and which wouldn’t. In the end, I scheduled a bad time for two of them, but whose wedding was this anyway? It was cute that they were so supportive. And then I called my parents. It was almost midnight by the time my phone call reached them. So they were asleep. I just figured something like an engagement shouldn’t wait until morning. Dad picked up the phone. I told him I was engaged! If you want someone to reacted excitedly, don’t pick my dad as that person. He said, “Great. Change your mind and call me back in the morning.”

written Spring 2006

October 14, 2000 – That Look in Rob’s Eyes

October 14, 2000 – That Look in Rob’s Eyes

Ever since the week before when we had decided to go forward with the relationship, Rob had a certain look in his eyes. I was pretty sure that look meant he was getting ready to ask me to marry him. I also knew he hadn’t gone to the temple yet and I knew he wanted to take the decision there to think and ponder about it. I was trying to be patient and wait for him to go to the temple so he could come back and ask me to marry him.

But I was a little scared about all this. Not about marrying Rob, but about Rob for some reason not wanting to marry me. I remember telling him one day that I was afraid that Rob’s train would leave and I would miss it (okay, maybe it was worded differently than that, but I remember using the analogy of a train). And I remember Rob looking at me straight in the eye and saying, “Well, then get on.” Oh. Okay. I also told him that same day (obviously it must have been earlier in this week, like October 10th or 11th or something like that) that marrying him would be like a dream come true. And he said, “I’m not in this to make your dreams come true.” He told me he wanted to marry someone who wanted the same things in life that he wanted. And what does he want? To serve the Lord all his days. Not a bad goal. I remember thinking, “I can do that.”

So obviously we could both feel marriage on the horizon. So Saturday night after coming home from wherever we were, we stood outside those back entrance stairs and talked. I told him he had this look in his eyes and had for the last two weeks (I remember thinking it was two weeks, but obviously according to the calendar, it couldn’t possibly have been. It was only a week). I asked him what it meant. I asked Rob point blank because I wanted him to ask me to marry him. He said the look in his eyes was a question he wanted to ask me, but he didn’t feel quite ready to ask me yet. “But, hypothetically speaking, what would you say?” I remember wanting to laugh at that, but being so excited because obviously I knew what that question was and I wanted nothing more than to hear him say it. I said, “Should I pretend I don’t know what the question is?” No. But what would you say? “Well,” I said, “I’d have to think about it and pray about it.”

Of course I WANTED to shout out, “Heck yeah, and let’s get married tomorrow!” But I had learned a little in my relationship with Rob. I knew that I wanted to do this the right way. I had been praying for weeks now (again, it could be shorter than that) if I should marry Rob or not, or telling Heavenly Father that I wanted to marry Rob. And every time I would get the same answer: Rob has to make his decision first. This answer annoyed me and made me impatient. How unfair that Rob had to decide first and I was forced to wait for that decision. But I knew that’s how it should be. (Rob’s patriarchal blessing, I later found out, said that he would pick his wife and not the other way around. So my answers, then, made sense. I just didn’t realize it at the time.) So I hadn’t actually received my answer if I should marry Rob or not. I knew I wanted to. I knew I wanted to SO BADLY. But I did not yet know if this was God’s will or not. So I told Rob I’d have to pray about it. He thought that was a good answer and we parted that night and left it at that.

I walked into my apartment that night again on Cloud 9. I told my roommates that I so wanted to just propose to Rob. And I remember them saying, “Well, then do it.” And that’s probably the first time I took that idea seriously. (I’d always wanted to propose to a guy. I practiced a hundred times on JH, thinking that I’d never get a chance in real life to do it. He always knew they were a gag. In fact, sometimes I would play break off a relationship just to make a more dramatic engagement story. I think JH liked it. One time he almost thought I was serious. I used a real ring box and acted real serious about it. But the ring box was full of paper or paperclips or something like that. I think he was relieved that I didn’t actually pop the question.)

And that night I prayed. And I knew almost instantly that it was good and right to marry Rob. Now that he had made his decision, I could make mine and my decision was Yes!!

There’s a little more to my side of the story than this, though. My patriarchal blessing says that I should be patient in waiting to meet the right man to marry. It says he will be a righteous priesthood holder. It says he will love and cherish me. And it says that I should wait upon the voice of the Lord regarding my future husband. So I got serious about finding out what “the voice of the Lord” sounds like. I bought a book by Elder Henry B. Eyring entitled, “To Draw Nearer to God.” It talks about listening for the voice of the Lord. It says that the Spirit is the voice of the Lord and that no more evidence was needed than this. If we were in actuality to hear the Lord or see Him, we would know no better than listening to the witness of the Spirit. Before learning this principle, I had assumed I would need to have an earth-shattering experience. I would need to see lightning and hear a big booming voice. But the voice of the Lord is the Spirit and it is peace. And so I knew that night, after study and fervent prayer, that I had heard the voice of the Lord regarding my future husband: I would marry Rob.

written Spring 2006

October 13, 2000 – Ward Talent Show

October 13, 2000 – Ward Talent Show

Not much happened at the Ward Talent Show. I read one of my works: For Those With Non Talent Show Talents. Rob was one of the main Activities Committee members, so he was in charge of putting it on, so he didn’t perform. He just moved pianos and stuff. One of my roommates, Chanel, turned to me and said, “Your boyfriend has a nice butt.” I agreed with her. I still remember Rob was wearing his white ribbed shirt and jeans. He’s so good looking. And I’ve always liked his butt.

Incidentally, I was under Rob in my calling. Rob was the Activities Committee Chair over service. I got called to the activities committee and all of us got a choice as to where we wanted to serve. I don’t remember what all the groups were, but there were three groups and I chose to go with service. I remember that meeting for a few reasons. First, I was pretty upset when people assumed I was choosing service because Rob was over that area. I debated choosing service because I knew that’s what people would think. But that’s not why I chose it. In fact, Rob being over that group was a reason why NOT to choose that, because I knew my intentions would be misinterpreted.

The other reasons I remember that meeting have to do with Rob. I remember asking Rob if I could see his planner. His planner is bright blue, red, and yellow, not the kind of planner I’d expect to see in Rob’s hands. I was impressed. And I remember what happened after the meeting. We were in the basement and before we walked upstairs I told Rob that I didn’t choose to be in his group because of him. He said he knew that. And then we walked up the stairs. I’m sure we were still flirting. I walked up right before him and he used that planner to give me a playful swat on the butt. I was not happy. I turned to him and chewed him out. “Why did you do that?” Rob didn’t say anything. “Why did you do that?” He said, “I dunno. I was just playing.” I told him that my personal space was my personal space and he wasn’t invited into it. I let him know that I did not think that was funny and I expected him to never do something like that again. … Rob was floored. I think he was apologizing to me for weeks. It was funny. But I set the standard that day and I have not ever regretted doing so. Rob knew where I stood and what I would and would not tolerate. There can’t be anything bad about that.

Actually, when I went to my temple recommend interview with Bishop Freeze, he asked if there was anything inappropriate in my relationship with Rob. I told him there wasn’t and told him that story. He laughed and said that was a little over the top, maybe. But that’s a better reaction than what I would have received if Rob and I had things to work out with a Priesthood holder.

written Spring 2006

October 7, 2000 – Moving on Ahead

October 7, 2000 – Moving on Ahead

I remember the night being really long. I was anxious to hear what Rob had decided and felt several times like calling and asking how it went. Rob and I had to get together that day for something, I don’t remember what (he might have just been going somewhere and I followed him out the door and walked him to his car or something). But I remember we were walking out of the apartment and were in the space between his door and the outside door when we talked. He told me that he had decided to pursue the relationship to see where it went. He didn’t know if that meant marriage, but he was willing to see the relationship through. I told him I felt the same way. We both felt that maybe we were moving toward marriage, but we weren’t sure yet.

I was so happy! I remember telling him, “Good. Because if you had come back and said you’d decided on AO, I would have been so ticked off.”

So again, our relationship was given the green light.

By this point in my life I had started telling people that it was my new goal in life to marry Rob Thacker. I couldn’t stop thinking about him or talking about him and I’m sure my friends were very annoyed.

written Spring 2006

October 6, 2000 – I Say ‘I Love You, Too’

October 6, 2000 – I Say ‘I Love You, Too’

So I prepared myself for the only decision Rob would make that I thought I would have to be prepared for: "I choose AO." It was a little sad to me that this man I had pursued so hard and had fallen in love with at first ping-pong game was about to slip away from me. But I found strength in my preparation. I realized that if Rob didn’t want me, then I didn’t want him, either.

He happened to have a Choir Retreat on Friday and wasn’t home until late. I couldn’t wait to talk to him and say my bit. Finally it came time to talk and we talked for a while. I sat down with him in the hallway/lobby outside his apartment and I told him what I’d come to. I told him that if he didn’t want me then I didn’t care, because I was confident in myself and wanted someone who wanted me. I also told him that AO was horrible for him and he knew it. I said, “Your family knows it, you know it, and I know it.” I told him that yes, I did love him, and I didn’t want to lose him. But if he didn’t want a relationship with me than get out now cause it’d be easier now than later. And I told him that I didn’t care at this point if he came back and told me that I wasn’t the one he was interested in. I would be okay with that. But he BETTER NOT tell me that he felt good about AO. He seemed impressed that I came back so strong.

So I went home and waited, hoping that Rob wanted me.

Rob: This was the night that I was baptized by fire. I had been so mixed up. AO’s mother had been calling me. I had called AO several times. The last conversation I had with AO she had told me that she knew something I didn’t know, but that she couldn’t tell me yet what it was. Really, I had become so smitten with AO over the previous summer that I was blinded to how I really felt around her. I wasn’t myself. She had burned me several times. I had put a lot of prayer and emotional energy into trying to make her happy and she didn’t want any part of it. Tamra helped me realize this.

After our conversation I went in to my room. I knelt by my bedside and knew I needed an answer. I began talking to my Father in Heaven. I shared with Him my feelings about these two young women that I felt were special. As my conversation with Him continued my thoughts and heart all began turning to focus on Tamra. Thoughts of AO dwindled and died. Thoughts of Tamra grew and my heart was filled with fire from above. I knew.

written Spring 2006

October 5, 2000 – Jazz Concert and ‘I Love Two Girls’

October 5, 2000 – Jazz Concert and ‘I Love Two Girls’

Rob and I went to the BYU Jazz Concert. One of his roommates, Rhett, performed in it, but that’s not why we went.

On the way home, I was having enough strong feelings for Rob that I felt ready to say those three little words that mean so much. So I was standing with Rob near the stairs to his apartment and I told him I was about ready in our relationship to tell him something. So he knew what I was going to say. And he said, “Before you say that, I have something to tell you.” We sat down on the steps and talked for over an hour, I’m sure, perhaps much longer than that. I remember Rhett had time to walk by us with his instrument in tow and some of his roommates walked back out the door, too. I know it was past 11:00 p.m. when we finished our conversation.

But Rob sat me down and told me about AO. I’m not dumb and completely non-observant, so I had already put some things together about AO. I knew Rob had driven a girl up to Ricks (now BYU-Idaho) and dropped her off. I knew that he had “a friend” that was a little more to him than a friend, just by how he spoke about her. And, though he doesn’t remember this, he received a package one day in his apartment and I asked him who it was from and he said, “A woman who wants me to marry her daughter.” I had figured out that this person he wanted to marry was AO.

So he pulls out AO on me. He says she’s really spiritual and they have great talks and that she makes him want to be a better person. But, apparently, I don’t. I knew enough at this point that I knew he didn’t have a lot of fun around AO. He often would ask me if I really thought he was funny. Yes, of course, why don’t you believe me? Well, AO, … Right. I get it. So I just said, in essence, “Okay, maybe I’m not a spiritual giant, but we have so much fun together, and when you’re around me, you’re happy. What about that?” And he said he didn’t know. We were both different girls, but he loved both of us. And there he said it. Stole my punch line. He loved me but also loved AO.

And then he has the nerve to say, “So how do you feel about me?” What?! I told him I was not about to declare how I felt about him with him sitting on the fence like that. I told him I wasn’t happy about all this and would need to think about it all. And I told him he couldn’t love two women, he had to pick one or the other. He understood.

What a jerk! I was so upset. I went home and ate almost a whole half gallon of ice cream. My roommate, Cathy, came out and talked to me cause she could tell I was upset. I told her about Rob and what he had told me and I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t get ahold of my mom on the phone. … I had been calling my mom for a few weeks now, telling her about Rob and my feelings for him and wanting to be in his life and what advice does she have for me. The whole time Mom had been trying to give it to me easy. You know: Maybe he’s just in your life to be a good friend and then you’ll move on. I would respond with something like, “If I don’t marry Rob, I won’t ever get married. How can you see the best and marry for second?” So Cathy comforted me and suggested maybe I should ask for a blessing from a friend in the ward.

What a great idea! So who to ask? I almost called up Rob. No, bad plan. How about Dave? No, he’s the roommate, can’t do that. So I called up my next closest friend, Kurt. I had no romantic feelings for Kurt and sensed he had some deeper issues than I wanted to deal with. But I loved playing ping-pong with him (yes, he’s the same Kurt from that first night of ping-pong) and he was pretty good. We talked sometimes for a while, but I knew he and I were going nowhere. So I called him. By now it’s almost midnight and curfew in the building is midnight. Sometimes, though, breaking the rules for something like a blessing isn’t a bad thing.

So Kurt gave me a blessing. He asked what it was about and I told him I didn’t want to really tell him. So guided only by the Spirit he gave me a blessing and I was touched by it. In the blessing I was told I would be prepared for whatever answer was coming to me. I was also told that although I couldn’t get ahold of my mom, I would be able to pray and reach Heavenly Father. Now how could Kurt have known any of that? And it turned out to be true, all of it. I wasn’t able to get ahold of my mom for about a week, which was an eternity considering how often I’d been calling her. And I was also prepared for Rob’s answer, though I’m pretty sure now that I wouldn’t have been without the blessing to calm me and give me direction.

written Spring 2006

October 1, 2000 – Grandma D’s House for Dinner and a Phone Call

October 1, 2000 – Grandma D’s House for Dinner and a Phone Call

This was another weird night. Rob and I went to Grandma and Grandpa D’s house for dinner along with an old companion of Rob’s, Elder Bird. I don’t know his first name. But he was married or engaged, and his significant other was there, too. Anyways, the phone call was awkward. I was trying to be supportive of Rob, but I didn’t know him still quite that well and felt I was in the way. Besides, I don’t know German and the whole phone call was in German. I just knew that an old investigator was now having trouble. I also knew that this old investigator was half in love with Rob. Weird. So the phone call was weird and I half (well, maybe even more than half) wished I hadn’t been there for that part.

The other part about that night that was funny was Grandma D’s reaction to me. I wore my normal-for-the-time attire over to her house. I wore baggy pants and an old ratty sweatshirt (I loved those clothes and wore them well after they should have been thrown away), along with my Sambas covered in paint from my job at the golf course. A few days later it was reported to Rob’s mom that I wore combat boots over to Grandma D's house. This is still a running joke and my Dad likes to tease me about it. Not that I wouldn’t wear combat boots if I owned them, cause I would. But I didn’t own them.

Rob’s family was a little funny to me. They talked about everything, even about what the girl Rob was dating was wearing. By this point I think I had probably already talked to C, Rob's oldest sister. Rob one day said, “My sister wants to call you.” Why, I asked. “Just cause she wants to.” That’s weird. We weren’t engaged or anything. I remember it being weird that C called me, but she was pleasant enough to talk to. I remember telling her that it was obvious that Rob wanted to get married. She was like, “You think?!” I told Rob afterward that it seemed most people thought we were going to get married. Not that I objected to that, but it was so early in our relationship.

written Spring 2006

September 30, 2000 – Our First Kiss Again

September 30, 2000 – Our First Kiss Again

I sent Rob a few e-mails during the week because I missed him and didn’t quite feel like I could initiate contact. We were starting over, right? So I sent him a few e-mails and talked about his concert on Friday night. I had gone to a corn maze with my family and really wanted to see Rob but it was late. So I e-mailed him. I think I ended up hanging out in the parking lot Friday night the 29th until he showed up, just so I could see him. He replied to those e-mails and made me laugh cause he always makes me laugh.

Saturday Rob went on his blind date with the girl Aunt Lisa set him up with. They went to a haunted house and I remember Rob saying it was a lame haunted house. I don’t know how he felt about the girl. He didn’t fall instantly in love with her, and that’s all I was hoping for: no “and Tamra, by the way, I met this girl” talks.

Rob: She was cute. When I showed up I sat around the house for awhile because she was busy doing somebody’s hair. I remember she made the comment that all of the guys that she dated got married shortly after she went on a date with them. I guess she was right. Tamra should be grateful I went on a date with her.

I don’t know how it came about, but after Rob got back from the date we walked around campus, talking. I don’t know if we were holding hands or not, but we were talking. I remember walking all over campus and thinking how secure I felt walking next to someone like Rob. JH was far from a big man, and I had a friend who always told me that if someone jumped us, JH would run away. I had no doubts that Rob would protect me and I felt very safe. My friend, Jed, later described Rob as “a real man.”

We walked and took a look at some of the artwork on campus and then sat on the benches outside the Joseph Smith Memorial Building (I think). And I don’t know how this conversation went, but I remember Rob’s excitement and energy as he told me that now there seemed to be that foundation for our relationship that he was looking for. He didn’t describe it any more than that and I didn’t question it. But somehow, this time it felt a little better. And Rob kissed me again. We kissed a little on the bench, facing each other, and hugged a little. I remember someone walked by and said, “Get a room.” It almost made me laugh.

I walked away that night again on clouds. I remember feeling like okay, here we go. He’s now just “approved” our relationship.

Since that time Rob and I have talked about what happened that week that made it so different feeling from one Saturday to the next. We’ve identified a few things within ourselves. First, we both had other people in the back of our minds. I had JH hanging on back there. But between Tuesday and Saturday I basically decided to put him out of my mind and let whatever happened between Rob and I happen and not think about JH. I didn’t write him off or anything, but I consciously decided to let him go. And Rob at this point hadn’t spoken much of AO, but I knew there was another girl. And he decided also to give us a shot. Plus, he had his magical moment while sweeping the floors on Wednesday of that week, and that gave him a lot of the foundation he’d been looking for.

Rob: My moment sweeping the floors was fantastic. So, I had an early morning janitorial job. I cleaned up after art students from 5 am to 8 am every morning. On that Wednesday, I had the radio on as usual and I was just lost in my world of mops and brooms thinking about Tamra. As I was sweeping I was just filled with this love for her. I realized how comfortable I was around her. I could be myself around her. She laughed at me when I was trying to be funny. I came to the realization that it didn’t matter if anybody else disapproved of my relationship, I approved of it. I cared for Tamra and liked being with her. I could be Robert Thacker and she loved me for that. That made me happy.

written Spring 2006

September 26, 2000 – Let’s Start Over Talk

September 26, 2000 – Let’s Start Over Talk

So we’ve had our we should date other people talk and I thought that was the end of it. We’re on our way to devotional together, holding hands, when Rob says we need to talk. I’m thinking, okay, didn’t we just talk? But I’m wanting to talk, too, cause Saturday was just a weird day. Rob proceeds to tell me over the next hour that he isn’t sure how he feels about me and he wants to start over. This should mean no kissing, holding hands, etc. He just doesn’t feel like there’s a base for our relationship and wants to feel that there is before we go any further.

Rob: I admit this set back being mostly my insecurity with how I felt about Tamra. I needed to be comfortable with our relationship in public. I also needed to figure out if these other girls I have previously mentioned were really going to be a part of me. I was divided and didn’t feel that our relationship should continue until I had come to terms with a few things.

Well now I’m pretty mad. How many guys had I kissed in my lifetime to that point? Two. How many people, guys or girls, have I even let close to me? Not many more. So when he says that he kissed me but isn’t sure how he feels about me, I’m pretty bugged. Cause I had been in the past a really slow mover. I dated JH and EW both for quite a while before even thinking about kissing. I spent a lot of time thinking about liking them before dating them. And here’s this guy that full-speeded us into kissing only to tell me four days later that he isn’t sure how he feels about me. Yeah. I’m mad.

So off I go. I wander around campus. I go to the WILK and buy a BYU chocolate milk shake (they’re SO good) and probably one of their brownies as well (also SO good). I go and say mean things about Rob in my head and I write a poem to let off some steam. The poem is about the stupid men in my life, and the list now includes Rob.

And then I feel better (chocolate milk shakes will do that) and I feel that I should go apologize. I write Rob a note, then buy him a German-English Dictionary at the BYU Bookstore (it’s like $30) cause he had told me earlier than he wanted/needed one. It’s a nice one. I find him back at his apartment and present him with the note, the dictionary and the receipt in case he needs to return it, and an apology. I told him it was fine to go back and start over and he could now dictate the pace and that would be fine. I wouldn’t be initiating so many things. (Well, I probably didn’t say that much out loud to him, but that’s what I was thinking my new plan was.) Come to find out that he already bought himself a German-English Dictionary. I felt a little dumb. He didn’t buy the kind I gave him cause it was more expensive, but it was the kind he wanted. So I was happy about that. Besides, it was a peace-offering. I wasn’t about to take it back. He could if he wanted, but he needed to know the peace-offering had been given.

written Spring 2006

September 24, 2000 – Let’s Date Other People Talk

September 24, 2000 – Let’s Date Other People Talk

Saturday had confused both of us. I liked Rob and he liked me, this much we knew, but the whole day had just felt weird. Rob and I both felt it. So Rob sat down with me in the Broadbent Hall lobby couch and said he thought we should date other people. I told him that was fine with me. He had a date that coming Saturday and I told him that it was fine if he went. It seemed weird to me that he was even having this conversation with me because we weren’t exclusively dating. Well, we were spending a ton of time together, but we didn’t have a “relationship” yet. But here I am giving him permission to date other people. Weird.

written Spring 2006

September 23, 2000 – Hike to Upper Silver Lake

September 23, 2000 – Hike to Upper Silver Lake

I wanted to go to Upper Silver Lake, where Ruben died. I had wanted to go before the snow started in the mountains and I was running out of time. I realized that it had to be this weekend or not until spring. So I convinced Rob to go with me. Originally I had another person going with me, Cathy, one of my roommates, but decided I wanted to go with him alone. I felt I could trust him at this point, and besides I couldn’t kiss Rob with Cathy around.

Rob probably should have said he couldn’t go. He had a test on Monday, later on Saturday was the BYU game and I think he had something on Sunday as well. A busy weekend. But he’s a nice guy, like I said, so he took me (I remember now that he hesitated at first cause it was a bad weekend, so I pulled out that my brother had drowned up there to make him feel bad and take me. I had wanted to wait until we got to the top to tell him, but I really wanted him to come and share that moment with me). I was a weekend too late and it had already started snowing. His poor ’89 LaBaron had a hard time getting up there. You don’t have to off-road it to get up there, but close. The car made it and we made the hike. We stopped every now and then to kiss and cuddle and that was fun. We had the trail to ourselves. We got to the top and I don’t think I told him too many details cause I didn’t know him well yet. He gave me space to think and cry and held me when I wanted it.

We hiked back down and I remember Rob started singing “Anything can happen in the woods. May I kiss you? …” I was FREAKED out. We laugh about this now. But here I am, this young, helpless, little girl compared to Rob and I’ve trusted him enough to bring him up here alone where he could do anything to me that he wants to and he starts singing a creepy song?

Rob: So I didn’t really think about this being creepy. It is a song from the musical Into the Woods that I was a part of in High School. I was trying to be funny. Obviously, it didn’t work.

We got back in to Provo and went to the BYU football game together where we’re cuddling and holding hands and all that. B looked a little confused and not approving. I thought he looked a little jealous that his brother had someone to be with other than him.

Rob: Really, B’s look was because my last conversation with him was one of the days I didn’t really like Tamra. I think I had decided to not date her anymore or something. His look was one of shock and confusion. Looking back on it, it was a difficult day because I liked Tamra, yet some of those feelings of insecurity came back once I was with her in public. It might have had something to do with her dressing like a boy once again and the fact that Tamra was a little different. I struggled with wondering what other people were thinking of me, being with her. I know it sounds dumb but it was true. I believe this is one of the reasons I dated Rachel B in High School. It was a preparation for some of the things I needed personally to overcome.

written Spring 2006

September 22, 2000 – Movie with FHE Sisters and the First Kiss

September 22, 2000 – Movie with FHE Sisters and the First Kiss

Of course here I am still confused. Here’s this guy that I am hoping and praying likes me, but I’m not sure. We held hands at the German film, but then, the day after that, we held hands across campus after Rob’s BYU Men’s Chorus gig in the WILK and I remember it just feeling really weird. And of course I still have JH in the back of my mind. Should I tell him about this Rob guy? But what do I tell him? Right this second he’s not my boyfriend or fiancé and maybe three weeks from now I won’t even be associating with him. I decide not to tell JH, but I’m feeling some strong feelings for Rob.

Friday night, the 22nd, we go to one of the FHE sister’s homes. It’s her parents’ house and we’re in the basement, like the 6 or 7 of us. It’s fun to be together and I’m holding Rob’s hand. There’s no question what claim I’m staking. I’m not trying to be subtle about it. And one of the FHE sisters, I don’t even remember her name, kept trying to flirt with Rob. She would tickle him and touch him, blah, blah, blah, and I wasn’t happy. I was jealous! I thought it very annoying that she was here trying to flirt with the guy I was claiming as mine! Plus she was one of those people that thought they were all that and you just wanted to punch half the time. I had figured out she had a thing for Rob and I was vaguely annoyed by that but I couldn’t imagine Rob going for someone like THAT. Incidentally, neither could Rob. She wasn’t a real threat.

That night we came home and Rob and I stood outside the back entrance to my building (my apartment was closest to that entrance, it was easier and not as many people went in that way. Not that it was private. People were always going by). We stood there for like 2 hours but to me it seemed like an eternity.

Okay, I’ll preface this night with a dream I had. A few days before this I had a dream that Rob kissed me. I kept not wanting to be kissed and not wanting to be kissed and then he kissed me and I loved it.

So we’re standing there and I know what Rob wants. I kept backing up as much as I could without looking TOO uncomfortable. I figured I was as backed up as I could be without being rude. I wanted to just say good night and walk inside, but somehow I knew I just couldn’t. I knew that Rob wanted a kiss and I somehow knew I couldn’t get away that night without giving him one (or letting him take one, whichever). His FHE sisters walked by as we’re standing there talking and holding hands facing each other. They giggled. Rob gave me some ultra-lame line about how he had never kissed a girl with braces before and I almost laughed out loud. Here I am thinking, “Does that mean he’s never kissed a girl while she had braces on or while he had braces on?” and “Does he know how LAME that just sounded?” I felt so sorry for Rob. Well, sorry and amused at the same time. I could tell he liked me and wanted to kiss me and here he is, a newly returned missionary, and has NO IDEA what to do with girls. He’s nervous as all get out and here I am thinking, “That was the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I let him kiss me. And after all the fighting I did, I loved it. Okay, I didn’t actually like how Rob kissed. Rob didn’t like the way I kissed, either. But I loved that it was him kissing me and me kissing him. I think I floated inside the building.

written Spring 2006

September 20, 2000 – German Film and Holding Hands

September 20, 2000 – German Film and Holding Hands

Of course, here I am all confused. I like this guy, but does he like me? A few days ago I was wondering if he really liked me and yesterday we flirted hard. Does he like me or doesn’t he? Is it in my head? Was he just playing? … Still, I couldn’t wait until the next moment we would be together.

Rob invited me to a movie that I didn’t care at all about. At BYU there is a little tiny International Film theater that is free. I loved it, cause it was free and sometimes they showed really good movies. Well, for Rob’s German class, if you went to go see a German film you could get extra credit. I have no idea what the movie was, but it was horrible. Really truly horrible. Of course Rob and I were flirting, but we didn’t have any idea what the movie was about, the sound wasn’t great so Rob was having a hard time understanding the movie anyway and we ended up just giggling and joking the whole time. And then all the I-like-you tension culminated in holding hands. I remember melting as he held my hand that first time. I probably put my head on his shoulder, just melting into him.

We walked home that night holding hands and I couldn’t have been happier.

written Spring 2006

September 19, 2000 – Devotional

September 19, 2000 – Devotional

Funny how fast things move. I don’t know how it came about, but we ended up sitting next to each other at devotional. We flirted a lot and I remember feeling the butterflies of falling in love and wanting to touch the other person but not really knowing how to do it. So we flirted and had fun with that butterfly feeling and milked it for all it was. That was a fun devotional, and I don’t think I got a spiritual thing out of it.

written Spring 2006

September 16, 2000 – Ward Hike

September 16, 2000 – Ward Hike

On a beautiful Saturday, we went on a bus trip with the ward to Parley’s Canyon near Salt Lake City. We hiked up to the top and had lunch up there. I know I didn’t hike to the top the whole way with Rob, but for a lot of the way I did. I remember him telling me that the name of the tree that I thought was so beautiful was a quaking aspen because of how the leaves shook when the wind blew.

We got to the top and I remember hassling a member of our Bishopric about his former occupation. He had been a Hollywood lawyer for a lot of Hollywood stars. His list was fairly impressive. I asked him how he could be a lawyer if he didn’t feel good about lying. He told me you didn’t have to lie. You could choose your cases and your clients, yada yada yada. It was fun to harass him anyway.

We had a lunch of sub sandwiches, I remember. And there at the top of this mountain I found out that the bottle of water I had in my book bag had spilled all over the only other thing in there: my Book of Mormon and Bible. How sad. My book bag has a waterproof bottom to it, so the water just sat in there creating a pool for the scriptures to soak up. It was sad. I have since bought new scriptures. The Book of Mormon was pretty beat up by that experience.

We drove down to This is the Place Monument in Salt Lake City. Not downtown, out a ways. Really this whole time after the hike I didn’t see Rob much. I watched him with other people, though, mostly girls, and thought a ton about him. I think I was sitting alone on the bus, or with Lorelie, I don’t remember. But I sat on the bus thinking about Rob and writing a poem about him called “Inspired Through.” Clearly I was completely smitten by Rob. At this point, though, I wasn’t convinced he even knew I existed, or if he did, that he cared much about me.

Rob: I would like to add in a few of my feelings at this point in time. I really didn’t know how I felt about Tamra at this point in time. I remember trying to keep up with Shanda for a good part of the hike. Shanda, I believe, was doing a fair share of trying to get me to like her as well. She had invited me on a group date earlier, it was actually the day I got my braces on. She had requested that I be a co-chair person on the activities committee with her, so we had meetings together on Sundays and had helped plan activities like the hike. I think every guy in the ward liked her, including me, but I hadn’t openly pursued because she was constantly telling me about her missionary and about other guys in the ward. She was confiding in me, and I listened and gave advice but I was definitely cautious. I just saw all of the other guys she led on and then let go of and I wasn’t fully willing to be the next even though I think she wouldn’t have minded if I was.

At the same time I had a lot of mixed feelings about Tamra. Every other day I changed my mind. One day I liked her a lot, the next I was telling B that I really didn’t want to pursue a relationship with her and that she dressed like a boy (though, I might add, that she didn’t really walk like a boy). Then I would see her and change my mind again. I didn’t know what to think about her, and somewhere, I still kind of liked Shanda and AO, who I think comes into this story a little bit later even though she was a part of this story before it began.

written Spring 2006

September 12, 2000 – Hearing Rob Sing

September 12, 2000 – Hearing Rob Sing

At this point in our relationship, I was desperately looking for ways to spend time with Rob. Without being incredibly forward and asking him out every night, I had to look for other things to do. So I kept watch. For instance:

example A: I wanted to go to World of Dance. Rob also wanted to go. I mentioned World of Dance to him and made sure that we decided to go together. Very innocent, of course, but, I will admit, conniving. We ended up going together (we don’t remember the exact date, but it was probably some time in September), but only because shortly after he bought the tickets I called him up and asked him about it. He had forgotten that we had decided to go together and was about to ask another girl. This is why I called, cause I figured he had forgotten. We had a fun time together.

Rob: I was going to ask Shanda (remember Shanda from the Ward FHE). I had decided that I was doing too many things with Tamra and that I needed to broaden my horizons. I didn’t really want to go with Tamra but I remember this date being quite a pivotal moment in our relationship. After this date, I spent really most of my time with Tamra. If I had asked Shanda to World of Dance I might not be writing this story.

example B: Rob and Dave, Rob’s room mate, ended up being my hometeachers. Coincidental, again, but okay with me. In fact, I had people tell me that I couldn’t date Rob cause he was my hometeacher. We were dating BEFORE he was made my hometeacher, so I said it was okay. Anyways. When Rob and Dave had their first tests, I brought them both a half gallon of ice cream and a note. Mainly I did this so I could bring a note and ice cream to Rob and see him again. I figured if I included Dave, it would be a little less obvious that I was mercilessly courting Rob. I had no interest in Dave. … Rob still cites this instance as why he married me. He was conditioned to like me: Tamra = ice cream. Ice cream = good. Tamra = good.

example C: I would randomly show up at Rob’s apartment to talk. It would be to talk to Rob, but sometimes he wasn’t there. So I’d talk to Dave or any of the other guys. It helped, again, that Dave was my hometeacher, so I could use that as an excuse. I don’t think Rob noticed that I was just “popping up” in random places of his life. One of the times I showed up Rob was in the shower, so I talked to Dave until Rob was out. Dave was a dufus. He infuriated me. He said that night that men and women don’t talk the same language and it’s impossible to communicate across genders because women are so touchy-feely and all men think about is football and doughnuts. I said that Rob was good at communicating with women. Dave said that most men aren’t like Rob. And with Rob in earshot I told Dave that I would marry someone like Rob, and not someone like him.

example D: I found out, craftily, what most of Rob’s schedule for the day was. So I knew at certain times he would be passing by certain places of campus, most likely. So I would go and study on the grass by the sidewalk in hopes of seeing him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. In my defense, I liked to study on the grass around campus anyway and people-watch. It’s comforting to me. And also in my defense, often when he’d finally come I’d be asleep, so it was his choice to wake me up and say hi. The first time he woke me up to say hi it freaked me out and I think I jumped.

example E: And my example E is September 12, going to hear him sing. He had said he liked to sing and said he was pretty good at it. So I told him, more than once, that I wanted to hear him sing. He had mentioned that he was going to go sing at some function his grandmother was having. I tried to be as casual as possible and say that I wanted to go. I think he almost didn’t invite me to go (it wasn’t one of those kinds of functions where you invite people to hear you sing), and I think I had to call him again and ask him about it. But, eventually what I wanted happened, and I got to go. That’s the night I met Aunt Becky. She was accompanying Rob. I fell in love with her cause she’s so stinkin’ funny. Grandma and Grandpa D were there but didn’t have much time to do more than say hi to me once. They were in charge of the function.

Rob: I believe I sang “Old Man River,” and “Honor and Arms.”

I was blown away by Rob’s voice and I fell in love with him even more.

Afterwards he said he wanted to eat, so asked if I had time to go out to eat with him. Really I didn’t, but I wanted to be with Rob, so I said yes. We went to some Mexican restaurant in downtown Provo. I don’t remember the name of it, but it’s on the NW corner of University Avenue and Center Street. We had a good time, as we always did. I was often asking Rob questions as some sort of “test” to see what he’d say. I remember on a different night, after we’d gone to see a BYU Men’s Soccer Game and we were walking home, I asked him what his philosophy of life was. I remember the answer he gave me because it’s the same answer he still would give and has given several other times. He said, “eternal.” Eternal? He explained that on his mission he was challenged by another elder to come up with a one-word answer to how we should live. Of course, this is difficult to do, and he searched the scriptures to come up with eternal. We should live our lives eternally. (At least that’s how I’ve always understood the answer.) I remember not quite liking the answer (I wasn’t sure it fit the question of the philosophy of life), but I was impressed none-the-less. Anyways, to say the least, Rob was quickly passing with flying colors all the tests I was throwing at him.

At this restaurant they sat us at a booth with two names on them. A guy’s name on one side and a girl’s on the other. I asked what these were for. They said they were the names of people who had met at the booth and later got married. I remember thinking that I was sad that Rob and I hadn’t just met that day so our names could get on a booth, too.

I also insisted on paying. I had to really insist. I remember him objecting and me looking at him and saying that he had paid for me and a bunch of girls just 2 weeks prior and asking him if he was made of money. He said he wasn’t and actually was having to work hard to put himself through school, and that really money was tight. What a goofball, insisting on paying when money was tight! I told him money wasn’t so tight for me, so I was going to pay. He was grateful.

And I wasn’t even late to what I was supposed to be at. I don’t remember why, but I had an interview with the Bishop. It was probably a get-to-know-you type interview. Maybe it was for a calling, I don’t know. But the bishop was running late anyway, so it didn’t matter.

written Spring 2006

September 4, 2000 – BYU Women’s Soccer Game

September 4, 2000 – BYU Women’s Soccer Game

At Ward Prayer the night before I had talked to a group of girls (who just happened to be Rob’s FHE sisters) about wanting to go see a BYU Soccer Game. So happened there was a game on Monday, which I believe was Labor Day and we had school off. We determined to go. I also (or maybe they did, I dunno) invited Rob to go. He wasn’t super excited about it, but he went along. Rob’s a nice guy like that. I don’t think he would have told me or anyone else no ever. In fact, I knew this. There was another time that I went to a concert with Lorelie. I had a date, but Lorelie couldn’t find one. I ended up asking Rob if he would go with Lorelie because I knew he would say yes. I had fun with my date (who was married a month later to a girl he had met over the weekend), but wanted to be with Rob instead. I think I worked it that night to sit next to Rob as well as my own date.

Anyways, after the BYU Women’s Soccer Game we decided to walk down to Brick Oven and eat. Rob went and I think he ended up paying for everyone there, and it was like three or four girls. I don’t know what compelled him to pay. Probably that same I’m a good guy sense he has. Rob is a gentleman.

written Spring 2006