3 Conversations

I love my children.  I love most that they make me laugh.  Having kids, for as hard as it can be, is often a lot of fun.  Here are 2 funny conversations with my kids, and then, to keep it in balance, a somewhat serious conversation.

Miciah

I wish I could convey how funny that Miciah can be.  She loves, loves life.  She's constantly laughing and smiling and telling jokes.  It's awesome.  Here's an example of a recent fun one.

Miciah was alarmed that there was a spiderweb downstairs (probably with egg sac and all!), and so she sent Rob downstairs to take care of it.  I was unalarmed.  I think that's part of my job as a mom.  I looked at Miciah and said, "What if that spider was Charlotte?" 

Miciah gave me that Whatever, Mom look.  I kept going.  "What if that spider was intelligent?  What if that spider could spell?"

Without changing her look, she deadpanned, "It's not everyday you meet a spelling spider."

I laughed.  She kept going.  "It's not everyday you meet an intelligent pig.  Or should I say a RAAAAADIENT pig?!"

Love that girl.

Elijah

At dinner the other night, Teancom informed us that his stomach hurt.  This prompted the kids to have a thoughtful discussion about stomach aches.  Elijah was the instant expert.  "There are 3 reasons why your stomach can hurt.  One, you have to go potty.  Two, you're going to throw up.  Three, you ate too much.  I bet you ate too much, Teancom."

Teancom agreed that he probably had eaten too much, which prompted Elijah to elaborate.  "Yeah.  If you eat too much, you'll be sick.  Like, if you eat a whole cabin of cabbages.  You'll be sick."

Teancom said, "Yeah.  And then you'll burp."

Elijah finished it off with, "Yeah.  Burp."

I just smiled.  A cabin of cabbages?  Where does he get this stuff?!

Teancom

We were getting ready to walk into the library, and Tank wanted to bring in his blanket.  That seemed like a bad idea to me, so I gently said, "Can we leave your blanket here, please?"  I could tell Tank didn't really want to leave it in the van, but after a moment's pause, he left it on the seat.  I thanked him and he got out and walked with me into the building.

As we were walking, I thought about how easy he is, how reasonable he can be, compared to his sister at his age.  Miciah is wonderful now, but she gave me a run for my money back in the day.  For lots and lots of days.  Taking her out in public was painful for everyone involved.  A good public outing, where no one threw fits (her or me), was a rarity, whereas with Tank and Elijah, the opposite has been true.  With the boys, bad public outings can be accompanied by normal amounts of frustration, instead of desperation and tears (the kind where you go home and vow never to go out in public with your child again), because they happen rarely.

I thought about this, Teancom walking quietly by my side, and smiled.  I decided to thank him again for leaving his blanket in the car.  He replied, "Yeah.  I have to listen to you, cause you're the boss."

What?  That can't be right.  Young Miciah taught me a clear lesson, and I took it to heart:  I am not an authority as a parent.  I still believe that.  And here Teancom was telling me that I'm the Boss?  No.  I mean, sometimes my kids have to do what I say.  I can be harsh and demand obedience, that's true.  And I expect my kids to be respectful, to me and everyone else.  But I am NOT the boss.

If 4-year-old Miciah had happily told me that I was the boss, and if I hadn't died immediately of shock, I probably would have said something like, "That's RIGHT I'm the boss."  With Miciah we needed to introduce her to the idea that she wasn't the boss of everything.  There existed more in the world than the idea of Me and Only Me.  But the boys are naturally obedient and compliant.  They need to learn another lesson.

I was troubled.  I don't want Tank to think I'm the boss and he has to always do what I say.  But I don't want him to think that he can completely disregard me, either.  So I said something like, "But I want to know what you want, too, okay?"  Teancom kept walking.  "It's important to me to know what you like and don't like."  No response.

I didn't know what else to say, and Tank isn't a vocal thought processor, like I am.  So I don't know what he made of our little chat.  I wouldn't trade my compliant, trusting boys for the world, I just want them to have a little bit of fight in them.  Please, can we find the middle ground?!